


Adrift

by Slushiecidal



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: My First AO3 Post, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2019-11-27 16:59:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 73,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18196898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slushiecidal/pseuds/Slushiecidal
Summary: Raelynn Averi Ariese is a mess of a mage at the College of Winterhold. Troubled with the homesickness, worry for her missing brother fighting in the war, she tries to focus on her studies and ignore the world outside the college walls. One day, she stumbles upon a strange book in the Arcanaeum that gives her vivid nightmares about her twin brother being in trouble. In an impulse, Raelynn sets off to find him, and make sure he's alright, completely unaware that greater forces have set her on a dangerous path after the Dragonborn himself.((Mostly follows main quest/Companion Questline with some deviations and Original Characters as well as major NPCs, as well as some creative liberty in the plot/lore...))





	1. Books

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! 
> 
> So, this is not the first Skyrim Fic I write, but it's definitely the first one I dare post online. And definitely my first one on Ao3. I hope you enjoy Rae's shenanigans and adventures, and apologize in advance for any creative liberties I took. Any constructive feedback is wonderfully welcome. 
> 
> I want to follow ESV's storyline, but I might deviate a little, change and add some stuff. Definitely going to use some original characters, but we shall see where it takes us! Anyway! Thank you for clicking! I hope you Enjoy!

There was an old book in Urag’s library. Rae had found it wedged between two bigger tomes on the discernation of runes. She had used her index finger to force it out, and blew the dust off of it wondering firstly, how and why it was there, wrongfully cataloged amongst enchantment books. Urag was rather particular with his books, and wouldn’t misplace one just like that. 

Shrugging it off as a mistake, Rae stuffed the book onto her book pile and smugly returned to the counter of the library with the full intention of letting Urag know what she had found. Rae slinked around the side of the counter, and put her neat column of books in front of the orc.  

“You again, Ariese?” The old Orc groused eyeing her as she placed her stack of books on his counter. He began to undo the stack. “Let me guess, miss class again?” 

“I can’t help it. His lectures are so boring.” Rae whined over dramatically her elbows making a nest on the counter her forehead could rest on, her eyes looking down directly at her snug boots. She closed them momentarily, because they burned from all the reading she had been doing for this research scroll. It had to be perfect, her whole grade depended on it. She had been told to give up, but by the Eight or Nine or whatever number they were on now, she would pass Enchantments! 

“Get off my counter” Urag hissed casually, Rae slid off and lifted her head at him but smiled. “I’ve told you, this isn’t a dormitory. You want to sleep go back to your quarters.” He huffed. Rae’s smile widened, but she said nothing, and let the silence fall between them as Urag checked each and every one of the books in her pile. She had never met an Orc so interested in books, and true, he was slightly intimidating at first, but it wasn’t going to be enough to keep her away from  _ books.  _ After the first or second year, Urag was more of a grouchy grandfather than anything. Besides, this library had made her first cold, lonely weeks at the college all that much more bearable. 

“What’s this?” Urag’s gruff voice pulled her attention to the raggedy book as he pulled it up. 

“Oh. That? I was hoping you could tell me” Rae shrugged. “I found it wedged in between the enchantment tomes. It seemed out of place to me.” She yawned earnestly forgetting her previous smugness. It wasn’t the first time near sleepless nights had been spent in corner chairs, engrossed in her research. It was the only thing keeping her from thinking too much about home. And she was alright with that. 

“Hrmf....I think I remember this” the Orc continued pensively placing the book aside. “It’s garbage” He shrugged continuing on to the next book. 

“Garbage? This coming from you?” Rae’s face caught another smile. 

“Well, it’s an old copy of an even older book. Nonsense really. I already have a copy of that book in much better shape, I might add, someone must’ve left it here….” He flipped through some of the other books. “You taking it?” 

“Uh...You said it was trash….why would I want it?” 

“Very well, then I’ll dispose of it, sad, waste of a book but I suppose there’s no need for a book in this state.” 

“I mean….If you’re going to throw it away….” Rae shrugged, her eyes falling on the book momentarily before switching to Urag. “I’ll take it. I’ll need some recreational reading after this.” 

“You can have it then.” Urag shrugged and pushed her pile of books towards her. Rae reached for the tattered misplaced tome and put it on top of the pile. “Have these back within the week, Ariese,” 

“Yes, Urag.” Rae replied with a nod. “In mint condition.” She added as she began to pull her column of books off the counter. Urag watched her carefully. “Hopefully I can bring them back tomorrow. Once I finish that stupid scroll.” 

“Good Luck, Ariese” The old Orc waved her off. “And try not to miss too much sleep. You already look like a starved skeever...” 

“I’ll try” Rae replied, moving away from the counter with the neat column of books cradled in her hand. Urag sighed watching the young mage go, until she pushed the door with her hip and slipped out. He wondered if, at least for the sake of his books, he should have offered to help. 

It was a short walk to the dormitory from the Arcaneum, another set of doors, and Rae was briskly out into the cold chill of Winterhold. She had considered staying and studying in the Arcaneum, but the threat of distraction was not something she could risk. This particular scroll had to be perfected and turned in by the next morning, or she would utterly fail enchantments. Suddenly, a bump in her boot, made her squeal, her neat pile of books tossing into the air, as she herself fumbled face first into a pile of snow up ahead. 

“By the Eight, you should really watch where you’re going, Raelynn” A fake voice beckoned from behind, muffled giggles ensued. Rae sighed scrambling onto her behind and casting a glare unto Nirya, a high elf, standing neatly in front of her. Her band of vultures, formed a semi-circle behind her, ready to giggle and squawk and dive at the first provocation. Rae let go of the fist her hand had formed at her side and sighed, crawling a couple steps forward in the snow to aid her books before they got soaked. “

“I’m really sorry, Nirya,” Rae muttered gathering her books as quickly as she could. She saw Nirya move, picking up one of the books, the tattered one. “I couldn’t really see where I was going because...of the books”

“Tch. All this studying. One would think you’re trying to make up for something. Lack of talent, perhaps?” 

Rae could feel the other mages smirking at her. Her fist grew again but she focused on saving the books, otherwise, Urag would have her hide. 

“Could...you please just hand me that back and I’ll be on my way?” Rae tried softly, feeling the cold set into her body miserably, even when her mind was more worried about the books, she lifted them all into a newly made column but didn’t move, awaiting Nirya’s response.   

“Next time you decide to trip on my foot Ariese, I’m going to bolt you.” Nirya spat throwing the book on top of the pile, Rae flinched as the leather bound broken thing almost slapped her in the face, she watched the elf and her little posse strut away, before she turned shuddering at the slow snowflakes falling all around her and continuing her brisk walk a little faster. 

She was more than grateful when she finally reached her quarters in the Hall of Attainment. Sure, her room might have been bigger back home, but her quarters here were cozier. Somehow that wasn’t a comforting thought. Raelynn sat her column of books on the only clean corner of her already piled desk and slid away, wanting first to get rid of the humid cold robes. 

Her mother’s last letter still sat open on her desk atop the rest of her papers. Rae tried not to look at it as she changed, instead she focused her eyes on the small window and the snow falling softly, lazily, neverending. The warmth of a dry robe was welcome and Rae even slipped the hood on, turning back to her desk. Tired, she felt so tired, but most of all worried, she thought about reaching for the letter for the fifth time since it had arrived the day prior, but a tight knock on the door froze her. 

“Raelynn? Can this one come in?” J’zargo’s voice pulled her from the window and her thoughts of Solitude, and her family. “This one thought you might be in the Arcaneum, but the old orc said you left early.” 

“Yes” Rae replied taking a seat at her desk. 

“This one was hoping you would accompany him to the tavern in town, but taking a better look at you, you don’t look too well, friend.” The Khajiit inched ever so slightly away from Rae. Rae shook her head. “Perhaps you are coming down with something?” 

“No….and no, I’m just a little tired and I still have to turn in an extra scroll. For some credit. You know I missed last week’s lecture” Rae sighed, decidedly putting away the letter, though it did not escape the cat’s gaze. “I’m almost done. Maybe another time?” 

“Very well.” He paused, he seemed to be gauging her, J’zargo, while odd, and out of place in Winterhold, had gone from friendly rival to actual friend. Rae thought it might have something to do with the shared homesickness they both had. Her of Solitude, and he of, Elsewyr. “News about your brother?” J’zargo inquired tilting his head. 

“Sort of.” Rae admitted defeated. “Mother has finally admitted that it has been weeks since they have heard of him.” She frowned, J’zargo’s tail stopped flicking and he seemed to frown as well. 

“This one is sorry to hear Raelynn, however, do not lose hope. This one does not think that means….it is war….couriers get lost….” 

“Yeah. Thanks. I’d rather….not talk about it. I’m trying to focus on the damn scroll” Rae shrugged picking a random book from the middle of her column, she turned fully facing the wall in front of her desk and tried not to look at J’zargo. 

“Fair enough. If you decide to take a break, this one will have a tankard of mead ready for you at the tavern.” He nodded. “And some scrolls he would like for you to test out.” 

“More exploding scrolls? You trying to get me to tutor you?” Rae said turning back to him, this time with a smile. 

“No. J’zargo is past that phase of his life.” He scoffed. “But if  _ you  _ need tutoring in Enchantments, you know where to find me.” 

“Whatever good that’ll do.” Rae quipped at him, watching the Khajiit shake his head and slip out of the room as quietly as he had entered. 

Rae turned back to her book, thankfully it had not been ruined by the snow. She pushed aside the letter from Solitude and tried to focus on the words in her book….focus….focus. 

_ Cold. _

_ Sinking slowly, numbing pressure at each fingertip. Tendrils of darkness pulling gently on a motionless breathless body, faint light, above, thin sheets of white, uniform except where the edges became jagged, and then, those edges blurred, clouded by a deep shadow. _

_ Cold.Sinking. _

_ Dying. You're safe now. You're safe here. He can't see you.  _

Rae must’ve fallen asleep. Her eyes slit open and she pulled herself up from her desk wiping the dry stream from her half open lips. She closed her blues again, feeling the ache shoot across her eyes, before trying to open them again. Pushing herself away from the desk she stumbled out of the chair. She thought she had finished....She could remember finishing and thinking she could take a small nap. Outside the slit window in between the stone the snow had picked up violently, but the night was becoming lighter.  _ Sithis take that damn scroll and that damned enchantments class _ . She growled pulling herself onto her bed, and kicking the furs down with her bare feet. When did she take off her boots? Didn’t matter. The moment her head hit the pillow she was gone again.

_ Stay there, Stay safe.  _

There was a soft light raining from the slit in the wall. Rae’s features wrinkled slightly, and she turned away, but something in the back of her mind nagged her to get up… _ No, not yet…. _

“The scroll!” She snapped, sitting up, and rolling over to her desk. It had been finished….but it wasn’t perfect. Whatever. Rae hopped over to where her boots lay and pulled them on as quickly. Perks of falling asleep clothed was that you could just rush out the door. Scroll in hand she ran out of her room through the hall and into the cold grey world, the cold hit her harder than she expected, and she cursed under her breath for forgetting her cloak, but there was no time for that. Besides, she’d be indoors soon enough.  

Pushing the doors, she was quietly thankful for the comparable warmth of the indoors, she strode quickly down a set of steps and stopped short at the wooden door in front of her. Taking a deep breath she knocked twice. 

“Come in.” Sergius voice beckoned unhappily. “You’re late Ariese,”

“I’m sorry Professor.” Rae stated meekly slinking into the the Scholar’s office. “I have your scroll…” 

The Imperial stared at her momentarily before motioning for her to sit down. 

“You look sick Ariese.” He muttered taking the scroll before she sat…..

_ ~ _

“This one is impressed, Raelynn, he did not think you had it in you to pass enchantments.” J’zargo mused, slipping into Rae’s bedroom. The mage girl looked up from her corner on the bed and smiled sitting up, but not moving from under the blankets. The Khajiit stopped in his tracks, his tail flicking carefully and he frowned before deciding to take another step. “This one however, is not impressed with your health. You look terrible.” 

“Didn’t sleep too well.” Rae groused pulling her knees up into her chest. “But I”m just glad it’s over with…” 

“Yes. Well, I too am glad you are free of that hell, now you will have more time to help test J’zargo’s scrolls.” The Khajiit rubbed his whiskers and took a seat on the end of the bed. 

“No way, your crappy exploding scrolls? What, you want to kill me?” Raelynn laughed shaking her head,  “Besides, I’ll be busy with my own research project.”

“Bah! What research project?” J’zargo waved her off. “This one thinks Destruction suits you better Raelynn,” J’zargo insisted,

“You just want a guinea pig.” Rae teased back with a laugh, J’zargo nodded. A comfortable silence fell between them. 

“I kept having weird dreams last night….” Raelynn finally said, ungluing her eyes from the falling snow outside just visible through the slit window in the stone wall next to her bed. “It’s been bothering me all day….” 

“This one thinks you are just worried. Perhaps coupled with the stress it has been a little too much for you” J’zargo stood up. 

“I guess...I just can’t stop thinking about Gael…” 

“Your brother?” 

“Yes. It was like he was talking to me...like when I was girl back in Solitude. I...don’t know. I can’t shake the sensation.” Rae scoffed. “I’ve been thinking that perhaps I should try to take some time and...go see my parents.”

“All the way in Solitude? Some fresh air and sunlight might do you good. However, do not be surprised if by the time of your return, I have become Arch-Mage. Do not worry, my friend, I will have an assistant position readily available for you.”

“Tch. You wish.”

J’zargo stood up, and patted his robe down, he nodded at the mage girl. 

“Look, if that is what you need, then go, but this one thinks you should try to rest first.” He moved towards the door. “Get your head on straight before making an decisions Raelynn.” He nodded and opened the heavy door. 

“Yeah. I guess I just need some down time” Rae smiled “Thanks J’zargo.” 

The Khajiit smiled and waved back at her before slinking out. Rae felt the silence weigh heavily. She closed her eyes and unable to sleep, opened them again, focusing on the falling snow outside. Did it ever stop? 

Sucking in a frustrated breath, she looked over at the column of books on her desk, she had no desire to bring them in to Urag yet, and besides she still had a week. She reached for the pile from her bed, and plucked the tattered book she had found from almost the bottom, frowning at it while she retracted into the curled ball under her covers. 

“Secrets Overheard in Apocrypha” Rae muttered sinking into her headboard.  _ Recreational reading hm? Haven’t done that in a while.  _ She opened the book, the first page, was yellow, almost falling apart at her touch. 

_ The seekers pretend that they cannot talk, but they can. For I have heard them. They can both understand speech, and utter it, though they do so with a hissing lisp. I shall tell you how I know… _

**There were alot of pages. Everywhere. It was a dream. Yeah, she must’ve fallen asleep again. J’zargo and Sergius were right. She was probably coming down with something. Probably from her tumble in the snow. Probably from forgetting her cloak this morning. Probably both.**

**Whatever this dream was, a deeper feeling of dread lay deep in Rae’s stomach. A strange sensation unlike no other, like pressing her cheek against the cold window, she was just looking, she wasn’t there.**

**And then, there was a breeze, swift and hot, it thumbed the loose pages all around her, into the green tinted sky. Rae tried to move, tried to get up, but the same breeze was effortlessly lifting her like any other page. Panic settled swiftly in her heart. She hated sleep paralysis, she willed herself to close her eyes, but nothing happened, so instead she focused her energy at her fingertips, the tingling sensation of a shock spell building up….**

**“Do not struggle. I will not hurt you.” The thick voice drew her focus away to a figure standing directly in front of her. Blue robes, golden threading, perhaps magnificent once, but in the green tinted darkness they looked tattered and worn….like the book. The figure’s hand was in front of it, two fingers outstretched as though that was what he was using to keep her in place. He stood tall and straight. “Speak.”**

**The knot in Rae’s throat faded away.**

**“Who….what are you?” She choked out.**

**“I will not answer that.”**

**“Where...am I?” She tried again.**

**“In a place of knowledge….In a place of darkness. A mere dream.”**

**Raelynn was quiet. She didn’t know what else to say, her mind felt so muddled, she struggled with the heaviness of it all.**

**“I called you here, to become my instrument”**

**“Instrument? What?”**

**“You are confused. It is natural” His voice was patient. “I forget how weak mortals are.”**

**“Who…?”**

**“I already said I wouldn’t answer that.” The scolding was monotone. Rae tried to move again but her entire body felt trapped. “I have spent too much time, risked too much by extending myself thin like this. However disappointing, however long, it seems my experiment worked.” His fingers beckoned and Rae felt herself move towards him. A flinch of her fingers, a spark flew and she stopped moving. She felt the black holes of the man’s tentacle mask observing her.**

**“I would only be so lucky that it was an apprentice who found the book. But no matter. You will have to do, as there is no other choice and I grow impatient.” He sighed**

**“Let go of me Daedra” Raelynn hissed. It was all a nightmare. A horrible….sleep paralysis….**

**“I am no Daedra, no, that much I can assure you” He replied, a tint of amusement in his voice. He drew close, his steps voiceless in the greenish hellscape. “I am...worse.”**

**“Who…”**

**“Do not worry yourself with that. You are lucky enough that you get to serve me, foolish girl. That is all you should know. We must get to work quickly, there is much to be done.”**

**“What? I don’t want to.” Raelynn hissed.**

**“First thing’s first.” He flicked his wrists, a cold breeze poured through Rae, she flinched and the heaviness from before disappeared. Painless, she felt...lighter, floating there at his beckon. Somehow, renewed. Rae opened her eyes and breathed for the first time. Like all the worry, fear, that had been bottled up was suddenly drained away by the cold.**

**“What are you doing to me?”**

**“Preparing you for your task. Freeing you of foolishnesses”**

**“Task?” Rae hissed. “If you think I’m going to do anything for you, you bastard, you’re stupider than--”**

**“You will not defy me.” His voice was strong, his fingers turned into his hand forming a fist and Rae was suddenly unable to speak again.**

**“My influence upon you is limited. But you will not deny me, Mage girl!” He seethed. Rae simply nodded.**

**“Good.” He paused moving away. “Now you will repeat after me….”**

**"No."**

**"Yes. You will." His voice grew stern however it was still low and thick. "Here in this darkness."**

**"Here in this darkness." Rae gritted her teeth, spitting out the words as though her mother was forcing her to apologize.**

**"That they have forgotten"**

**"That they have forgotten..." Rae gritted her teeth harder.**

**"Stop resisting Raelynne" He warned "Here you will listen."**

**"Here I will listen." The words drew out of her in deep anger.**

**"You will reclaim"**

**"I will reclaim" Reclaim what?**

**"What was stolen."**

**"What was stolen."**

**"Far from you"**

**"Far from me."**

**"I grow ever near to you"**

**"You grow ever near to me."**

**"Our eyes once were blinded"**

**"Our eyes once were blinded"**

**"Now through me do you see."**

**"Now...." Stop....Please.**

**"Say it." No. "Now through me do you see."**

**"Now through you do....I....See"**

**"Your hands once were idle"**

**"My hands ....once were idle"**

**"Now through them do I speak"**

**"Now through them...." NO.**

**"Mage...Do not defy me" He warned. "Now through them do I speak"**

**"Now through them does he speak." No! She wanted to hiss but his voice compelled her and the words spilled out of her mouth and she felt...she wasn’t sure what she felt.**

**"And when the world shall listen" He continued.**

**"And when the world shall listen"**

**"And when the world shall see"**

**"And when the world shall see"**

**"And when the world remembers...."**

**"And when the world remembers...."**

**"The world shall cease to be...."**

**No....NO......"The world shall cease to...." No..... "....be"**

**"Good girl. Now bring me the Dragonborn..."**

**There was a flick of his hand. A dismissal, and then Raelynn fell back into darkness.....**

 

  
  



	2. Starting From The Beginning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weird dream changes into a scene Rae's not familiar with. When she wakes up, she can't remember much of it, and tries to brush it off.  
> A sudden interest in learning about what a Dragonborn is leads her to the Arcanaeum and into a sudden panic.

_The darkness was clearing, there was noises all around. The forest for one, birds, the grind of wheels against the road and the huff of horses. Her vision was creaking and bobbing, before it came to. She wanted to feel glad to be away from the figure in the blue robes but more than anything she felt confused, and the feeling of dread stayed in the pit of her stomach. She was in...a horse-drawn cart? how did she get here? Her hands were bound on her lap, but she didn’t feel the scratch of the rope or the cold of the breeze clearly rustling the trees around her. There was a blonde man in front of her who seemed to notice her looking at him._

_“Hey, you, you’re finally awake” He was a nord with blue eyes, and a thick accent. There were two others in the cart. All bound as her. One though, was gagged as well and better dressed. “You were trying to cross the border…”_

_His voice faded out, Rae tried to open her mouth, but she couldn't even muster that. The only thing she could do was observe, once again, helpless. The paralysis made her breathing quicken. What was happening?_

_“Shut up back there” The cart driver was hissing. The men were talking and even though she tried, she couldn't say anything._

_“What’s wrong with him…?” The thief sitting next to the blonde nord asked pointing at the gagged prisoner. Wait, how did she know he was a thief? Her silent question was interrupted, the blond man was demanding respect for Ulfric Stormcloak? Rae wanted to turn back to the blond man, to ask if this was real. She tried moving her hands but nothing worked, it she was just like watching from a window all over again. She was peeking in, unable to move or say anything. She couldn't even feel her body._

_“...The true High King…”_

_“Oh gods, where are we going…”_

_“....Sovngarde awaits….”_

_The words faded in and out, Rae tried to focus again, this was just...a nightmare. Wake up. Wake up. She was looking at a gate that was opening and then back at the road, another cart was following closely behind. Escape was not an option. At least not yet._

_“...This is Helgen, I used to be sweet on a girl from here….” The blonde man was saying. The cart entered town. The confusion grew deeper. They stopped in front of a tower. “End of the line.”_

_Darkness blurred in and out. She was off the cart, in line suddenly. There was an imperial man with a piece of parchment, a list._

_“...He’s not on the list…”_

_“Forget the list, He goes to the block….”_

_He? Block…? They couldn't mean....Raelynn tried to shake herself awake. She could have said something, something that could have saved her, but why wasn't she speaking? This was….what was this? They were...talking, but nothing made sense. A headless man was slumped next to the famous block, and she was being ushered forward next, and for some reason, the mountains would not stop rumbling, but that was the least of her concerns right now. Rae tried to push herself back, but her body moved anyway, no, no no no....._

_There was a groan from her. Deeper than her own voice, her face pushed into the chopping block, she felt the pressure on her back of the captain’s boot, the anger coursing through her but it wasn’t her own, and maybe there was fear but that might have been completely hers. The man that was on the block before her was still sprawled next to the block, his blood was warm on her cheek._

_And then….and then…_

_Black wings. Red eyes, looking straight at her from the top of the tower, horns and scales deeper than the night sky, the eyes, crimson like the drying blood all around her, he stared at him. No. At her. Through her.  It was staring at her. It arched it’s neck, shooting out a deafening roar that seemed to crack the sky in two. The headsman stumbled back, losing his balance and falling over along with his ax._

_Then everything was chaos. Her head hurt, but someone was grabbing at her forearm, pulling her away into the tower._

_It was the blond man, and Ulfric._

_“Up through the tower…Go on!”  She didn't question them. She ran._ _Everything was crumbling, spinning out of her control. A jump through the tower, into a burning inn, flames licking at her. She lost track of the blond man momentarily and then the man with the list found her, pulled her against the wall just as the creature perched directly above them, his neck reaching out, it's jaws spewing out flames that Rae thought she could feel. Everything blurred again and suddenly silence. She was indoors, with the blond man again, who had named himself as Ralof. Ralof was cutting her hands loose from the binds---no, these weren’t her hands….these weren’t hers! They were too big...they were too masculine...What was going on?!_

_“There....Take his things, he won’t need them anymore.” Ralof was beckoning towards the corpse. She felt herself nod. “Do you have a name,” Ralof asked. Rae felt herself hesitate. It couldn't hurt to tell him, right?_

_“Gael….”  It wasn't her voice. It was one she knew so well and yet... His voice faded out, everything felt faint, the world began to spin from under Rae, and then just as it came, it was gone before she could call out to him._

There should’ve been panic when Rae opened her eyes, her body was demanding the dramatic jerk upwards, maybe a scream, or a gasp, but instead an eerie calm blanketed her in confusion as she instead, slowly sat herself up touching her temple with the flat of her fingers. She was in her quarters still, in Winterhold, and that realization calmed her, though she wasn’t sure why.  

Remember....Remember….What was...that…? Raelynn breathed in, closed her eyes, yet nothing came to her. Frustration swelled as the dread faded away. It was just an unpleasant dream. That was all. She pushed it out of her mind and made a mental note to stop reading before bed.

The ragged book fell off her lap now, as she shifted, closing shut, she moved it to her desk as she got up and reached for new robes from her dresser. She shook her head again, pushing her fingers through the black strands of hair invading her face. Rae stared at the pile of books on her desk. She’d take those back today, right now actually. Maybe get a couple of others. Something easier to read, something….not so freaky. She glanced momentarily back at the ragged book on the floor and thought about returning it to Urag or kicking it under her bed. Instead she found herself stuffing it deep into her knapsack, before leaving her dormitory.  

Urag was leaning on his counter when she came into the Arcanaeum, pile of books in tow. She placed the books not so neatly on the edge of his counter and he stood up.

“I heard you finished.” He huffed, and he began to check his books.

“Yes. Well, now that I’m done with those lectures, I never want to hear anything about enchantments every again.” Rae hissed yawning.

“Hopefully that will mean you will finally stop sleeping in here too.” The orc muttered at her. Rae scoffed, and he looked up at her unamused. “Did you need anything else Ariese?”

“Yes actually.” Rae paused. “I need something related to...uh…” She shook her head trying to think, her hands shook slightly at her sides. It felt like she was about to ask Urag something indecent.

“To?”

“The Dragonborn?” That didn’t seem right. She flinched, the orc looked at her momentarily and she didn’t know if it was out of surprise or worry.

“What Dragonborn?”

“I don’t know…” Rae faltered.

“There are many dragonborns. Do you want a tome on the nordic legend? Do you want a study on the history of the Septim line? Do you want….”

“All of them?” She cut in, now, Urag was definitely looking at her like she was crazy. She sucked in her lower lip. “Urag….what _is a dragonborn?_ ”

“Wait...you don’t even know and you’re asking for books? All of them? You’ve lost it.”

“Well that’s what books are for, right?”

“It’s rather specific…” Urag scratched his head and looked behind the counter momentarily. “I think you should take it easy Ariese, maybe give yourself a break.” The Orc’s voice softened, even when Rae’s mouth twitched downward. “But if you insist, here, start with this one” He quickly added putting a black book on the counter. It had akatosh’s sigil in silver over the pitch black cover. Rae recognized that symbol, it was the adopted symbol of the Empire, a sigil engraved into every soldier’s armor. She felt herself jerk for it, more mechanically than before.

“Are you okay, Ariese? You look pale.”

“I….” She paused “Gael…my brother...he…” Her hands picked up the book trembling. “I…” She felt sick, the panicked sensation from earlier building deep within her, she clutched the small book with both her hands tightly, clenched her jaw, she blinked fast, something important was coming back to her but she couldn't tell why, she could feel it, but it was just beyond her fingertips….There were black wings in the sky….and blood….snow...fire...birds in the trees...the mountains...None of that was important. 

“Raelynn I think you should sit down.” Urag was rounding the counter too quickly for his age.

“No….I...uh... Helgen…Where is Helgen?”

“Helgen…?” Urag snorted back. Rae’s hand shot to her head, there was a sting in the front of her head. She winced.

“My brother...I had a dream he was in Helgen......I...” Rae gasped out.

"It was just a dream Raelynn" Urag said reaching for her. Raelynn shook her head. 

“No. you don't understand. Helgen, Gael is in Helgen...I have to get there...I have to go. He's in trouble. There was a dragon...and” She said with a quick pull away from the Orc’s hands. She paused. She knew what she sounded like. Saying it aloud only made it worse. Urag was holding on to her tightly, but much gentler than she would've expected

"A dragon?" The orc scoffed tugging her arm, he pulled her gently towards the nearest chair. "You've lost it Ariese, sit down, you're probably feverish. You need to calm down. It was just a dream." 

"No! You don't understand! I know he's there...I think...I....I have to go." Raelynn jumped back book still in her hand, quickly, and had Nirya not been standing directly behind her she would have probably broke into a run. Rae stumbled back, as did the high elf, startled by the sudden push of Rae’s body.

“Nirya, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. I-I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Rae muttered quickly, lowering her head as she sidestepped the Altmer and started down the Arcanaeum again, she didn’t get halfway to the door when a small blast of fire hit Rae straight in the shoulder sending forward into the door. She caught herself and turned around in the same second.

“I told you before, watch where you’re go----Nirya’s high pitched voice was promptly interrupted by the deep crackle of electricity, then Nirya went flying into Urag’s counter before she could so much as scream. Rae stood by the door, and lowered her hand.

“Raelynn!” The old Orc seemed phased for the first time in his life and ran to the knocked out Altmer. She was alive, just unconscious, but verily singed. Urag turned back to where Raelynn should have been standing but she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Second Chapter!  
> I just want to say, thank you for reading, also, I'm sorry for typos, or anything of the sort. I'm typing this late at night because I don't have time during the day, so my editing is sub-par at 2am.  
> I still wanted to just say thank you for reading if you're sticking with me! :)  
> I appreciate constructive criticisms! Thank you!


	3. ...And away she went!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self-Doubt. A worried friend. And Grand-Theft Auto (Horse????)

Winterhold’s cold wind whipped Raelynn’s cloak up and down, almost making her flinch back, but her boots trudged on with a determination she quite didn’t understand. It was easier walking through the College’s stone bridge structure that lead into town, but once she set foot off the pathway, unto the uneven stones that paved the main road out of Winterhold, even the wind felt like it was pushing her back.

“Raelynn!” She heard J’zargo’s voice call behind her. “Raelynn! Stop!” But she didn’t stop, she tugged the straps of her knapsack so she could feel it tight against her back. She didn’t pack much. Two sets of robes. Some food. A couple books, including the one she had stuffed in her bag earlier that morning, and the one she had ran out of the library with. She wasn’t thinking very clearly when she started to pack, and now, she was wondering if she should’ve taken the time to actually think this through. Now, out here in the cold, the adrenaline had faded slightly.

“Raelynn!” J’zargo’s voice was missing breathes. “Please! This one is not very fit! You must think this through! Come now! Let us talk....”

Raelynn faltered but continued her stride. Winterhold wasn’t very big, it was a single road, dotted on either side with both houses that stood proud against the whipping cold and ruins of rotted wood from the disaster that claimed half the town to the Sea.

It was the reason the town hated the college. Like always, people fear what they don’t know about. Or were they right to fear? Whatever the college liked to think of themselves, outside its walls mages weren’t a very welcome sight. She knew about that herself. She pushed the unpleasant memories back and instead stepped up the steps into the Tavern’s deck to find some sort of shelter from the wind’s fury while J’zargo caught up.  Her eyes fell across the street, on the biggest building in the town, the Jarl’s residence where a single horse was tied to the wooden pillar. Further down the street the road opened up, she knew that’s where someone wanting to get out of town could catch a ride….and yet, today it was empty.

“Raelynn...Thank you” J’zargo was puffing hot clouds of breath, his claws on his knees, he finally straightened out. “Raelynn, while this one appreciates the sight of Nirya being sent flying across the room like a ragged doll, I would like to ask, what in oblivion got into you, my friend! Savos Aren is looking for you! You must come back!”

“No. I can’t. She wouldn’t get out of my way.” Raelynn crossed her arms. J’zargo visibly scoffed.

“She has never gotten out of your way. And I’ve seen her do worse.”

“I...I…” There wasn’t any real excuses coming to her brain. He was right, she wasn’t...she knew better. Her mind floated back to a certain hot summer day in Solitude docks, she was way younger then, things were so different, and yet the same...Raelynn shook the memory out of her head. What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking all these things….Nothing made sense.  She closed her eyes and sighed, trying to regain her focus and opened her eyes. “I panicked. I had a dream.”

“What kind of dream gives you the courage to put Nirya in her place?” J’zargo reached for her hands, lead her towards the door of the tavern, but Raelynn resisted pulling away. His paws reached up, onto her shoulders and he breathed in deeply, beckoning for her to also take a breathe.

“I...I don’t remember. I don’t.” Raelynn finally said after her own breathe. A superficial sense of calm invaded her, and she breathed in better. Was he….? It didn’t matter. “I was in a cart being held prisoner. I was...on my way to a town….Helgen…? I don’t know. There was a dragon. The town was on fire...everyone--everything burned. And I ran...But it wasn’t me….It was Gael….my brother...it was my brother….”

“Gael?” The name seemed to take J’zargo by surprise. His feline eyes studied Raelynn for a moment dropping his paws. “Raelynn, this one must be honest, this one thinks that you are acting delirious. Perhaps a combination of illness and stress and worry might have caused this nightmare, and the ensuing panic. This one has had dreams of the warm sands of Elsweyr, but that does not mean I must chase after….”

“J’zargo, I don’t know how to explain it...I...I know. _I know it was real. I---Please believe me.”_ The mage girl about whimpered. She looked up at her friend who sighed deeply.

“Raelynn...you understand that Savos sent me to fetch you back?” He paused carefully and watched her. Her blue eyes did not settle, but her shoulders slumped a little. “This one cannot allow you to endanger yourself. J’zargo does not know for sure if your dream was real, but he does know that you are not acting as yourself...and besides, do you really intend to walk to Helgen? There are no wagons in today”

“I….” She paused and rubbed her forehead again. He was pointing at the edge of town. She had hoped if she took shelter here...perhaps one would pull up eventually, today, was not her day. Maybe...Maybe he was right. It was just a dream, maybe she was just losing it. Going stir crazy. Perhaps she should go back, explain to the headmaster what happened. He was an understanding person. She would beg not to be expelled, and she would continue her studies, perhaps ask for some time to go visit her family in Solitude, to see her elegant Mother, and her stubborn Father. Maybe that would be for the best? Thinking about this for more than a minute...yes, it did seem crazy. How could she, a scholar, justify any of it?

“We do not have to return right away. Let us calm down,” J’zargo nodded dropping his paws “Let us have a drink. Think things over a little. Figure something out. Perhaps we can hire a messenger? Would that make you feel better?”

“I-I...Fine.” Rae took a deep breath and nodded. “But if you cast calm on me one more time, I will do the same thing to you, I did to Nirya.”

“J’zargo does not wish that. However, he will say he was delighted watching that stuck up altmer get what she deserved.” J’zargo cracked half a laugh, his claws going to his long beard as the Khajiit seemed to relax for a moment. Raelynn scowled but nodded, and they both began to move towards the door. J’zargo reached for the door opening it, inside, the rectangular building beckoned with a warm red glow that might’ve turned Rae’s cheeks pink except she stopped dead in her tracks.

_Hot summer days. Dipping warm feet in cold water. Her face was hot and wet too. Probably as salty as the water lapping at her feet._

_“Raelynn? What are you doing down here again….? Mama’s been worried. Why are you crying?”_

_Mama’s been worried. Come home._

_You’re going to get in trouble, too._

_Just come home. OK?_

_No, you come home._

_I can’t. Things got out of control again._

_Then, I’ll bring you back._

The memory was muddled. Raelynn turned away from the warmth. Her eyes falling on the spotted horse tied to the Jarl’s place. _I have to make sure…._

“Raelynn?” J’zargo inquired, she was stepping away from him quickly, her hands disturbing the pristine snow on the railing as she pushed herself up and over, falling with a soft ‘thud’ into the snow. “Raelynn! Stop!” J’zargo yelled, coming around and jumping down the steps after her, but she was already halfway across the street.

“Raelynn!” He yelled again, lifting his paws, a flare of fire appearing in one and a golden glow in the other. She wouldn’t….would she?

J’zargo curled his claws, clenched his teeth and stopped mid-road. The guards posted at the Jarl’s were going to _murder_ her. Being expelled would be the least of her worries. Rae had reached the horse, and had blasted away the rope, in the same hop that put her on it’s back. The guards began to move towards her and the panicking animal, that reared it’s legs just as J’zargo released his fireball. It landed square at the feet of the two guards sending them both two steps backwards as the horse and his friend shot off forward on the road out of town.

The guards, stood, and turned straight to J’zargo.

“J’zargo is sorry, he was simply trying to stop the thief…” J’zargo smiled sheepishly. His eyes didn’t dare shift towards the newly empty road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the fluff chapter! This week's been a little weird and rough.   
> Excited to write the next one though! :)   
> And as always! Thank you again if you're reading! <3


	4. Back On Track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helgen. The Horse. And Rudolf.

Helgen was gone.

Rae wasn’t too sure what she was expecting, even with minimal stops for food and rest the ride to Helgen had seemed eternal. Now, in front of Helgen’s crumbling gates, Rae was as restless as her stolen ride, whose hooves were patting at the ground indecisively. Behind, she could see the broken towers, and the stench of charred death and burnt wood still seemed to permeate the air.

There was nothing here, did she really intend to see what was inside? It seemed almost sacrilegious.  Yet, she still hopped off her horse, and lead the restless mare to the gate, slipping in through the side that was a third-ways open.

Rae gasped unexpectedly. Some houses were half-burnt, others, were nothing but charred remains, unlike the skeletons of structures in Winterhold, these were burnt to the ground. Scorched from the earth, The streets littered with cadavers, some unrecognizable, flesh seared and charred, bodies, outlines left, where bodies had faded into ashes.

The horse reared back, neighing, Rae pulled back but it tore the lead away from her hand with unexpected strength, galloping away without turning back.

“Hey!” She yelled taking after it, but it didn’t even turn back and went out the gate. Rae stopped and sighed. She turned back to the burnt town. She had to make sure. Besides there was no way she was going to catch the horse. Turning back with nothing but hesitation, she followed the road around the town, wincing at the sights. The horse was right. There was nothing but death and horror, here. Nothing to save, Gael wasn’t here….was he? He had been here at least. Had he made it out? Maybe he had become ash. No. She shouldn’t think like that.

She stopped in front of a broken tower, debris had fallen all about the road, but it had spared the chopping block, a man’s headless body remained by the block, his blood dry now, coated it thickly. His head was still in the basket. Rae touched her cheek as though expecting some of the blood to be on her skin, and grimaced momentarily before deciding she had seen enough, and strided quickly away slipping through the another gate. She found a pine to lean on and tried to catch a breathe she didn’t know was missing before reaching for her map from her knapsack. She was quietly thankful that she hadn’t decided to strap her little belongings onto the Horse’s saddle.  

Where to? She could go to Falkreath. Or. She could try Riverwood. Riverwood was a closer walk. And even without a horse, well, she might not get there until well past dark. The walk there could’ve been more pleasant if she hadn’t seared Helgen’s imagery into her brain though. Her thoughts sifting through desperate hopes that Gael had made it out, while disbelief seeped into these same thoughts, a Dragon? No….It couldn’t have been? But then what could have done such a thing to Helgen?

Thankfully, Riverwood had an Inn, with cozy rooms at that, though the beds were nothing to write home about. Home. Home felt so far away, mostly non existent. She’d get up in the morning and think again about where he might’ve gone... _If he made it out._

_Skyrim was always much colder than Cyrodiil, at least that she could recall. Even in the tepid warmth of Solitude, the summers were milder than the soft warmth she could barely remember from the Imperial Provinces. Solitude wasn’t uncomfortable, and honestly the family was doing better here, in their Father’s homeland. It became home, because honestly Rae couldn’t remember any other Home. The cool seawater on her small feet and the warm breeze in her hair, always seemed to remind her of those lost memories._

_“Rae. What are you doing here?” That voice… “Mama’s been looking for you. You know you shouldn’t be down here by yourself.”_

_There was a shift on the boards, the thud of another child’s steps, and then he sat next to her, Gael, not as Rae remembered him last time she saw him, but as he was when they were children, he had the exact tint of blue in his eyes she did, but his were somehow always softer, kinder._

_“You’re not supposed to be here, Rae.” He smiled at her mischievously and shook his head to brush away the same colored strands of hair from his face as the ones that sheltered her face comfortably. “At least not without me.” He dangled his own feet above the water but didn’t dip in. Rae stared at the water intently but said nothing back. Back then they were just children, running about the streets of Solitude, sneaking out of the city in the summer days to watch the horses in the stables or the ships by the docks. Waiting for Father to return on one of the many merchant ships that lazily floated in and out. They always snuck out to the far end, where they wouldn’t be noticed, and sank their feet in the water, waiting for something to happen._

_“I don’t want to go back” Rae heard a younger, shakier, version of her voice reply. He sighed and didn’t look at her, instead he leaned forward on his hands to see both their reflections looking back at them from the water. They looked so similar, that wasn’t the surprise, after all, he was only a whole two minutes older than her, what was striking about them, was how different their personalities were._

_“They were teasing you again, weren’t they?” He growled._

_“What? No...I…No...I like it here. I can read and think.”_

_“It was that Grivald kid wasn’t it?” He continued. “I’ll give him a thrashing he won’t forget.”_

_“It was all of them again. They think I’m weird.” Rae admitted quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”_

_“You should zap them next time. Teach them a lesson” Gael grumbled._

_“I’ll get in trouble. You know that.” Rae replied furrowing her brows._

_They were quiet again, looking down at their reflection on the black water. Murkier. Ripples forming across their faces._

_“Come on Lynn, let’s go home. You really shouldn’t be here. Something bad could happen.” He stood up and reached for her, but Rae flinched away, her blues focusing harshly on their reflections._

_“No.” She muttered. The water was black now, murkier than it had ever been, greener than she remembered. She tried to focus again “It’s quiet here. I can think about what to do next.”_

_“I think you need to stop this, Lynn” He wasn’t a child anymore, he was a young man, his hair cut to the Imperial Legion’s liking, he wore Imperial scout armor. “You’re not safe here. You could fall in again.”_

_“No. I didn’t fall in. They pushed me….I came here to look for you,” She replied decisively._

_“I’m sorry but you shouldn’t. You need to go back where it’s safe. It’s not safe here. Go back to Winter----_

_He was gone. There was only a deep dark abyss, rippling across. Was he even there to begin with? It was really fuzzy, like the trip from Cyrodiil to Solitude when they were no more than 5. Something from a far away time. There was someone else standing behind her now, she could feel it. The bright day had turned murky and green. Still, the dock remained amidst the changing landscape, the water underneath pitch black, just as she removed her feet from it. She wasn’t a child anymore, but she was still afraid. Rae pulled her knees in._

_“It is quiet here.” She heard the man standing behind her say. She’d heard that voice before. Rae stood quickly, lifting her hand, sparks readied, the man in blue robes pointed at them. “That’s not necessary. It’s also futile”_

_“Why am I here again….?”_

_“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I did not summon you this time. How goes your task?”_

_“What?” Rae wrinkled her nose at him thinking for a moment. Here, everything came back as naturally and as vividly as though it had just happened. She swallowed the overwhelming feeling. “Task? No….I’ve told you before, Daedra, I will not bend to your will. What did you do to me? Release me. I have other matters to take care of!”_

_“Interesting.” He muttered tilting his head at her, as though he was observing her through the small holes in his stupid looking mask. She could feel the intensity of his eyes even if she couldn’t see them. “Do you remember me?”_

_“Yes….I do…Right now.” She hissed moving her hand to her forehead. “Things seem somehow clearer here….Here? Where’s Here?”_

_“It’s nowhere. A dream perhaps.” He replied steadily, moving past her to look down at the pool of black water, he turned back to her. “I’m more interested to find out how you summoned me here. I will admit, though irritating, it is rather interesting.”_

_“I did not summon you.” Rae hissed back wincing._

_“Then maybe I was drawn here somehow for some reason? Have you found the Dragonborn?” He shrugged returning to her._

_“What is this Dragonborn to you?” Rae repeated._

_He remained stoic, his hands tight behind his back, his blue robes static in the heavy dark air, Rae felt the chill of fear in her heart as her eyes studied every curvature in his mask._

_“You are as afraid now, as you were then…as you’ve always been. And yet here you are, with the strength to summon me, and question me…” He commented._

_“I want to know what you did to me. And I want to know why...and why I can’t remember when...When I wake. Gods, this is just a nightmare isn’t it?”_

_“Do away with that fear and do as I’ve asked, Then, and only then, will I release you.” He added. “Do not waste my time, Mage-Girl”_

_“How about you release me now?” Raelynn hissed lifting her sparking hands again. She could feel the displeasure from him in the air. Rae moved to set free her lightning, but he flicked his wrist and she went flying back, into the dark water...again…_

_They were laughing. All the kids from the neighborhood. They were giggling even while she reached out, splashing at the water with her small hands._

_“Drown the Hag!” They yelled._

This time Rae gasped, opening her eyes and lifting herself up with one hand from the rough inn bed. Though she didn’t know why, another nightmare? Another memory? The strange calm feeling overcame her again and she breathed in looking down at her hands for a few moments. She narrowed her eyes, tried to think, tried to remember. Nothing came except Gael’s 8 year-old face smiling at her.

Rae growled, pushed off the bed and and pulled her boots on quickly, she gathered her sack and slid it into her arms, she passed by the Innkeeper's counter on her way out and bought a piece of stale bread and some milk before leaving hurriedly not minding the disgruntled bard who was hissing to some elf about the woman they fancied being stolen by some traveler. Whatever. She had to figure out what was next.

Raelynn pushed the door out into the brisk morning, running down the steps and onto the road. Perhaps she could buy some supplies.She stopped short, when she caught sight of the same spotted horse that had abandoned her at Helgen being lead by a nord man. No, it couldn't be? 

“Hey where did you get that horse?” She called following the man leading the horse.

“This beauty? She galloped in yesterday from the Northern road all on her own. We are putting her in the stables for her new owner.”

“Well, that’s my horse.” Raelynn narrowed her eyes at the horse. “I lost her yesterday. I was so worried.”

“Prove it.” The man shrugged. Raelynn hesitated then reached for the horse but it reared back and neighed aggressively at her. “Ha! I’d say she could be yours for 1000 gold but she doesn’t even like you! Besides, the horse has been paid for.” The man shrugged pulling away.

“You’re a thief.” Rae replied loudly crossing her arms, but not wanting to press the subject further. Karma she supposed? “Stupid Traitor Horse. 1000 gold? PFFFFT.” Raelynn growled to herself watching the man lead the horse away. “I don’t need you anyway,  stupid horse….” She muttered turning on her heel, maybe supplies weren’t such a bad idea. Food especially. She’d have to be thrifty but, it couldn’t be helped she had to ea--

“Excuse me,” A voice with a thick nord accent cut in, she had run straight into the man’s chest, and bounced off of it, onto her behind, rubbing her nose with her hands, Raelynn felt his hand pick her up gently setting her on her feet.

“I”m sorry. I didn’t see you.” Raelynn apologized blinking up at him. Her heart dropped. He...It was him. It was the blond man from the cart...the one in her dream...….Rudolf….Rodolf….No...No...What did he say his name was…? He was sidestepping her and patting her shoulders off from dust. 

“It’s alright. I hope you’re OK, Miss…”

“Radal...Raf...Ral...Ralof?!” Raelynn blinked at him. He stepped back, suspicion gracing his features. He wasn’t wearing the blue armor from the dream. He was wearing a regular clothes like any other townsperson around, but his name made his features tighten. 

“Do I know you?”

“Yes...I mean no...I mean…You were at Helgen right? You escaped the chopping bloc---” Rae spilled out, she rubbed the palm of her hands at her side with her fingers. Ralof’s face darkened even more, he seemed struck for a moment before glancing both ways up and down the street. Riverwood was going about it’s business as usual, the guards the Jarl had recently sent for it’s protection were the only thing he was really worried about. One was coming up the road. He grabbed the young mage woman by the arm and pulled her to the side of the building, down the alley. Rae almost yelped but he quickly pushed her into the shade of the stone fence behind the building and let his big hand over her mouth harshly.

Rae’s eyes widened as she felt him press her against the wall. He was strong, and there would be no escape save...Her hands sparked, but she felt his grip on her forearm tighten, push tighter against the wall.

“If you scream I will crush your neck into this wall before it even leaves your mouth.” The nord man growled “Who are you? How do you know I was at Helgen, Did the Imperials send you?”

Rae’s eyes narrowed and she nodded understandingly and then nodded a no quickly. He hesitantly let go of the hand covering half her face.

“No...No…” She breathed out sucking in air. “My name is Raelynn...I’m looking for my brother.” She whispered.

“Your brother? What does that have to do with me?”

“I…” She paused.

“Well?!” He hissed shaking her a bit. Raelynn grimaced.

“Gael! The man that you escaped Helgen with…You saved him from the block...you pulled him away while the Dragon…..He’s my brother. I’m looking for him.” Rae panicked out, Ralof looked dumbstruck. He gazed straight at her for a long moment and she felt his gaze soften along with his grip. He pulled away just enough to let her off the wall.

“How do you know all that?” He asked stupefied.

“If I told you...I couldn’t even believe it myself all this time. Everything’s been so insane...” Rae muttered out, patting herself down. The man was gazing at her more carefully than before now. “I had a dream about it.”

“Talos...” Ralof muttered back stepping back, again, his eyes scanned her,. Raelynn glared at him. This was too out there. She had a dream? By the way she knew his name, and spoke about Helgen, it was like she knew everything that had happened there. Like if it had been her and not her brother. It didn’t help she had that man’s same piercing deep blue eyes.  If it hadn’t been for the dragon he wouldn’t have believed all the outlandish things happening lately. This couldn’t be, and yet here she was, in mage robes, like Gael had mentioned, she was indeed a mage. “You’re a novice at the College?”

“Uh. Apprentice. But Yes? Can’t you tell by the robes?” Rae spat, readying herself for the usual Nord dribble about mages. Instead he looked relieved, like he had just dodged a fireball from...you know, a dragon. He pushed his blond hair back and paced before laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Gael uh, mentioned you were a talented Mage..I would have regretted….”

“Crushing my neck into that wall?” Rae huffed. “Perhaps. But that’s not important. Where is he? I need to see him….”

“I’m sorry but, he left here some days ago.” Ralof shook his head. “Only spent a couple nights here, and then went off to Whiterun to warn the Jarl of the Dragon. I haven’t heard of him since. I offered for him to stay a little more and join me at Windhelm,”

“He wouldn’t.” Raelynn glared. “I don’t care about this war, but Gael believes in the Empire…enough to fight for them”

“He only said he’d think about it…” Ralof paused pensively. “Why would they send one of their own to the Block? Because they don’t care who they slaughter for their own gain….”

“He's not here then? Thank you.” A sour flavor overcame Raelynn’s mouth. That was something she hadn't thought about. He….wasn’t on the list in the dream...that didn't make sense. He was a soldier. Why would they…?

“Hey...Hey!” Ralof reached out to her missing her by an arm’s length. She moved fast. “Where are you going?”

“To Whiterun to find him.” Raelynn replied.

“Listen…” Ralof called out again, scratching the back of his blond head. “Let me take you. I feel bad for---

“Almost crushing my neck into the wall?” Raelynn repeated and continued towards the street again

“Yes. I’m sorry about that...” Ralof replied. Rae stopped and turned back to him. “Things have been nothing short of crazy since that dragon burned down Helgen. A few days later the Greybeards called out for the Dovahkiin. The roads are more dangerous with the guard run thin. Bandits have become bolder. And the rumors only get crazier from there. They say a dragon attacked Whiterun too”

“The greybeards?” Raelynn stopped. “Dovah--? I was wondering what that...Never mind that. You say people are talking about the Dragonborn?” Raelynn jerked back with the interest of a six year old who just saw a sweet roll. She couldn’t help the curiosity growing in her. She had very little time to read on her travel from Winterhold to Helgen but she’d make sure to get some in. She had finished the book she had stolen from Urag, but there wasn’t much else she had heard on the subject. It had been, neglected to the back of her brain since she became so preoccupied with finding Gael...but now that it was mentioned...

“Dovahkiin. The Dragonborn? ” Ralof sighed.

“You know about the tales?” Raelynn added. “I...Could you tell me about them? And the rumors?”

“Yes. I can tell you on our way to Whiterun. It’s the least I can do for Gael. He saved my life, you know.” Ralof laughed. It was curious, most Imperials cared little for the Nord tales. “Yes, it’ll make the ride quicker. Besides, my friend at the stables just got a new horse. So, I can take you to Whiterun. I’ll have to leave you in the outskirts but it’s better than walking all the way there. I’ve been meaning to skip town soon anyway. ”

Raelynn narrowed her eyes at him.

“Excuse me, but that horse is _mine_.” She crossed her arms. “Your friend just happened to find her….after she ran away from me….after I...” She trailed off.  

Ralof laughed and shook his head.

“Look, if you want to walk that’s fine. But I don’t mind giving you a ride on your horse that I _bought_.” Ralof shrugged. “Besides, if you want to catch up to Gael, you’re going to want to get there as fast as you can. I get a feeling he’s not one to stay in one place too long.” Ralof nodded, passing her. Raelynn crossed her arms tighter, opened her mouth, but closed it and nodded, following after him without saying a word.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOP WOOP! Working on another one. Going to try to update once a week. Weekends work best for me but I"m going to try to keep up with it.  
> Thank you again for reading if you're sticking with me and Rae! :)


	5. Whiterun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae tries to contain the awkwardness during a horse ride. Then gets into a fight with an old man. Then almost dies. 
> 
> It's like she's tripping on flat ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had meant to post this last weekend but it wasn't finished and some personal stuffs with my doggo prevented me from finishing. It's finished now, and I do intend to post every weekend...or try to at least. 
> 
> Sorry for another Fluff chapter. I hope that I can get to some dramatic parts planned out for the next few ones. Now that we're gaining speed here. 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading!

The horse rocked back and forth steadily obeying every pull and direction that came from Ralof’s hands. Rae pouted, it _never_ stayed _this_ calm with her hands on the reigns. Her own hands nervously gripped the saddle’s horn tightly, trying to focus on the road ahead and not the arms confining her. She had insisted on riding on the back, but after the horse had bucked twice, Ralof had insisted she ride in front like a child. After all, _My friend would never forgive me if I let something happen to his sister._ Tch. She wasn’t a child. Rae stumbled over her thoughts and tensed up quietly at the slightest tug of the reigns. She thanked all the Gods wherever they resided, that Ralof could not see the pink of her face.   

“So who’s the eldest?” Ralof asked as the horse steadied out on the road by the river, it kept the same constant pace, and Raelynn wondered if she had treated it badly or done something to it to make it hate her so, well, other than steal it from it’s rightful owner...Who knew, maybe it was attached…? She didn’t like the small talk but it was better than the awkward silence.

“My brother.” Raelynn replied slowly “But not by much.”

“How much?”

“Two minutes. I’m told…”

“Ha. Is that right? He seems older than you by years.” He replied with a chuckle. There was another bit of awkward silence between them. Rae chewed the lower half of her lip before making up her mind.

“So...the Dov...Dovahkiin? Is that what you said earlier?” Rae finally spoke.

“Yes. The Dovahkiin.” He replied. “You mentioned earlier your father was a Nord. He never told you that story?”

“My father was almost always gone. He was a Sailor.” Rae replied quietly.

“Oh. I’m sorry” Ralof replied, she felt him suck in a breath and then continued. “Yeah. In the oldest of tales, back from when there were still dragons in Skyrim. They say the Dragonborn would slay the dragons, by stealing their power. They can use their voice to Shout like the dragons,”

“Hmf.” Rae twisted her mouth. “Sounds like an old tale to me.”

“I would have agreed with you until I saw that _thing_ in Helgen.” The distaste was evident in Ralof’s mouth. Raelynn bit her bottom lip a little harder than she wanted to. “No. You saw it too, in your dream...You seem to know a whole lot of what happened at Helgen...Did you use some sort of Magic to do that?”

“No. No, nothing...at least I don’t think so. Not the kind I study. Not on purpose. I don’t...know. I don’t know why I dreamt that, ok? It just happened. It felt so real too, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was needed.” Raelynn replied.

The silence was filled by the chirps of birds in the nearby trees, the clop of the horse.

“You know, it could’ve been just a dream.” He replied. “Why chase it all the way here?”

“I don’t know.” Rae shrugged looking down at her hands. “It was just this very strong feeling that Gael needed help….He’s always been there for me. It’s like when you have to do something but you forget what it was so you just...wander? I don’t know how to explain it. I remember bits and pieces but I know it’s not all there. And...argh. Can we change the subject?” Raelynn fumbled feeling a dull throb erupt in her forehead.

“Well, even if you’d gotten here on time, I don’t know what you would be able to do against that dragon. Mage or not” Ralof replied. “No offense, but I saw a lot of the Empire’s battlemages thrown into the air like ragdolls at Helgen.”

“Fair enough” Raelynn muttered.

“But I suppose you were right in following your gut. I would have done the same.” Ralof added after a moment. The sun filtered through the tree branches, sweet smell of mountain flowers lingered in the air but Rae’s mind wondered back to Helgen and the putrid scent of charred flesh. At the very least, she knew her brother was alive. That he made it out.

The horse descended quietly until the road evened out into a rocky hill, Ralof stopped the horse. She could see most of the farmland from here, the small cottages, windmills and fences extending towards the horizon. A small road wound down from where the horse stood over a small bridge and cut in between the farms towards the towering walls that surrounded Whiterun. A castle overlooked the houses she could pick out from here. It was an easy walk from here.

“There it is.” Ralof stated getting off the horse, who seemed to notice and nervously pranced. He shushed her with a pat on the side and Raelynn looked down at him. He was moving to the saddle towards his own knapsack.

“Hey....” Raelynn stated jumping off the horse too. Ralof stopped and looked at her. “You’ve still got a longer road ahead. Take the damned horse. It hates me anyways. You’re going back to Windhelm right?”

“You said she was yours.” He nodded and smirked.

“You said you bought her.” Raelynn replied with a shrug going for her own knapsack. “Just...if you visit Winterhold, you might consider bringing another horse...”

“Is that a story I want to hear?” Ralof’s smirk half-disappeared, Raelynn pulled her bag over her shoulders, she pulled her hair up and tied it and shook her head.

“Not really. Once I find Gael and make sure everything is alright, I can just get a carriage back to Winterhold, and pray to whatever Gods can hear me, that I don’t get expelled...” _Or thrown in Jail. Or Executed..._ Ralof seemed to think about it. “Besides, she listens to you better than me.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He nodded. “Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t take you all the way.”

“No. I understand” Raelynn replied trying to offer her own awkward smile. “Right. Well….I guess I better go find my brother.”

“Yes....I uh” Ralof pulled himself up on the mare, but kept his blues on Raelynn. “Tell Gael I will wait for him in Windhelm….”

“Sure. But I doubt he’d join your cause...” Rae smiled, but her smile faded somewhat quickly. “Ralof?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t die for someone else’s glory.”

“If I die, I'll die for Skyrim’s sake and for it’s true King. Good luck. I hope you find Gael.” He nodded at her before setting the horse on a gallop north. Rae watched him catch the fields and then turn onto the road, before she turned away and started her own path down the winding road and into Whiterun.

It was a quiet walk, peaceful almost, something she hadn’t felt in what seemed an eternity, but truly, it had only been a tiring few days. Raelynn paused near the stables, glancing for a second at the black-colored horses that neighed nervously at her glance, the stable hand stopped shoveling manure and glared up at whatever was spooking his horses. He was slightly surprised by the small mage girl blinking blankly at the offput horses.

“Can I help you?”

“I uh...yes. The entrance to town?” Raelynn managed trying to ignore the neighing behind the man. He irritably pointed down the same path she was following anyway, and with a sheepish smile, Raelynn moved away, picking up pace lest the horses break free and trample her to death. They didn’t look happy. She didn’t stop again until she was at the gate, two guards on either side, the bulkier one of them turned his fully helmeted head towards her and a muffled voice called out.

“State your business in Whiterun, Mage.”

“uh...Personal business…I’m looking for someone...uh...my brother...” Raelynn replied quickly. The guard looked her up and down and motioned with his head for her to go through. Raelynn started to move but his arm shot out in front of the gate. “You may enter but know that Magic is prohibited within city limits. Don’t go causing any trouble...” The man’s voice was suspicious. Raelynn nodded slowly and the man retracted his arm just as slowly. Still, she didn’t move after he had completely removed his arm.

“You know, I heard a funny rumor coming in.” Raelynn started tilting her head. “I heard a dragon attacked Whiterun...is that true?”

“I’m not here to gossip, ma’am” The guard replied dutifully “But I will say this, if it hadn’t been for the Dragonborn, Whiterun might be in a different state.”

“The Dragonborn you say?” Raelynn stepped back, she took a deep breath and looked at the wooden gate with it’s black iron fixtures. Why, anytime the Dragonborn was mentioned, did she feel a knot well up in the back of her throat? She wasn’t too sure. It couldn’t have anything to do with what was going on, and even if it did, it shouldn’t matter to her. Her only objective was to find her brother, to make sure Gael was alive and well. But she was starting to get the feeling that Dragonborn was going to be tied up in all this anyway. No real coincidence that a Dragon or Dragons reappeared in Whiterun around the same time the rumors of this supposed Dragonborn began circling this area... _No, forget that, you need to find Gael first. Sure. Find Gael and then what….?_

“Yes. The Dragonborn. Our Honorable Jarl has bestowed the title of Thane of Whiterun to the Dragonborn for protecting our city,” The guard continued rather proudly, as though the Dragonborn being part of the city was some sort of great honor to the city itself. Raelynn almost rolled her eyes at him.  

“Right, well, I suppose you wouldn’t know where I could find food and a bed to rest my head?”  

“The bannered mare.” He stated returning to his monotone voice. “Now if you don’t mind, no lollygagging.” Raelynn rolled her eyes at him this time and started through the gate.

Whiterun itself was quaint. Much more so than the freezing hell that was Winterhold. Comparing both, she wondered why the College wasn’t moved somewhere warmer, somewhere nicer. The streets of Whiterun themselves were much livelier than even Riverwood’s with children running past her and Shops and taverns and small cottages on either side of her.

Raelynn tucked the straps of her knapsack closer against her, and pulled her hood up, after the first glare she got from a woman followed by a ‘ _Nice Robes_ . _Are you a mage?_ ’ Of course, it had to be that. Always. Trying to ignore the glances, Raelynn pushed through to what seemed the town’s marketplace, where everyone was too busy haggling to care what she wore. She kept her face down and started towards the steps of what seemed the Tavern the guard had directed her to. It was only mid-day so perhaps she could grab something to eat, organize her thoughts, and then decide on where to start….

“I will never accept his death! My son still lives! I feel it in my heart…” It was an old woman, behind the stall. Raelynn took a few more steps upwards towards the tavern, she could see the sign for it, **_The Bannered Mare_ **“Where are you holding my Thorald?”

“ _Holding him?”_ A well dressed old man across from the woman’s booth jeered. “Why, I’ve got him in my Cellar. He’s my prisoner!” He smirked so smugly, that Rae could hear it in his voice. It made her blood boil, _Walk away. It’s none of  your business. Walk….away…._ “Face it, Cow! Your stupid son is dead! He died a Stormcloak traitor!” Rae’s hands clenched. _It’s not worth it._ “And you….you best keep your mouth shut before you suffer the same---”

“How about you shut your mouth instead?” Raelynn called out from the middle of the stone stairs. Her hand arm curled next to her body, her palm up, fingers slightly curled against her body quietly. The old man sized her up with his gaze.

“And who are you to tell me what to do, Outsider?” He spat. “Nobody was talking to you _mage._ I’m _amazed_ that they would let your _kind_ in our city walls….”

“ _My kind_ ?” Raelynn scrunched her nose tight, her lips curling. She felt the crackle in her open palm, and it felt _good._

“What are you doing? Stop that!” The man took a step back, his son seemed to step forward, his hand ready on his sword. Raelynn didn’t move. “Stop that!”

TZZZZT! The whole marketplace had gone silent, except for the sudden yelp of the old man. The ground before him scorched as he cowered back. His son held on to him by the arm so he wouldn’t fall. Raelynn smiled, and lowered her hand. Though, the smile faded as quickly as it came, because now, Raelynn could feel absolutely everyone’s eyes on her and the silence was much denser.  

“Father! How dare you!” The man’s son intervened, if his hands weren’t full with his stumbling skeever-brained douche of a father he would have probably lunged at the Mage with his sword out. Rae’s stood her ground, each boot planted on a different step, but her hands lowered at her sides. She laughed at them. From the steps, she could see two guards trying to push their way through the gathering crowd.

“You there! Stop! By the order of the Jarl!” One of the guards yelled out. Raelynn lifted her hands to show they were empty and glimpsed at the old lady behind the stall that looked just as surprised as the rest of the crowd. Raelynn chewed her lip,  She _could_ run….but then...Gael.... _Why in Oblivion did I do that? What is wrong with me? First the horse, now this?_ She dropped her arms by her side, and brought her boot down together and waited for the guards to finally push through.

“You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people, what say you in your defense?”

“I’m sorry, my hand slipped. It’s a good thing my aim was off” Raelynn replied steadily glancing at the old man and his son and then at the old woman they had been slinging insults at. _It was none of my business_.

“That is a load of--” The son yelled. Raelynn grimaced. “She’s probably a Stormcloak sympathizer. A traitor! Arrest her!”

“You shut your mouth!” Raelynn yelled back past the guard, the threat of another unhinged spark in her hand made her quickly turn to the guard trying to keep her composure. “I apologize...I must’ve tripped on the step there. I’ve been traveling from Winterhold and I’m very tired.”

“Apologizing won’t do anything, you should know better than to cast your spells at people. You must pay your fine or serve a sentence in the dungeon” The guard replied back matter-of-factly, he moved to grab Raelynn’s forearm.

“Really? You’re going to fine me for accidentally hitting the ground?”

“She attacked me!”

“It was an accident, you old troll.” Raelynn cried past the guard again. “If you’d like I can actually zap you, so that at least my fine’s worth it!”

“Did you hear that?!” the old man growled back at the guard.  

“This is unfair treatment….” Raelynn pleased. “I didn’t hurt him, and neither did I intend to. But if you insist that I pay a fine I might as well make it worth my coin” Raelynnn spat lifting a hand sparking a healthy blue ball of lightning.

“Whoa! Whoa! With the magic stop that!” The guard yelled moving to grab her hand, the old man slid a little closer to his son. “All right, All right! just this time, but you watch yourself. Next time, we won’t be so lenient.” He muttered at her. The sparks disappeared and she lowered her hand looking rather triumphantly.

“That is...That is inconceivable!” The old man slithered out from behind his son.

“You dare question the Jarl’s authority?” The guard asked turning his ire on the man.

“Come on, Father, there’s nothing more to be said here.” The son added, pulling his father away from the crowd that had started to dissolve. Raelynn stood in the same spot, snugly behind the guard, until most of the townspeople returned to their own business. She then turned to the guard. “Am I free to go?”

“Yes.” The guard nodded once the pair of Battle-borns were out of sight.

“Thanks” Raelynn replied and turned on her heel, glancing at the speechless old woman once more. The old woman moved out of her stall and followed after Raelynn

“Excuse me, Miss,” She started “Thank you for that, but it wasn’t necessary. I would have hated to have put you in trouble with the Jarl’s men.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Raelynn kept her pace going up the stairs, but the old lady followed anyway, at an impressive speed. “My hand just slipped because his voice was annoying as all oblivion.”

“Well. Of course, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t stand up for me, and I would like to repay you…” The old woman stated. Raelynn stopped again at the doors of the Tavern and looked at the woman blinking for a moment.

“There’s no need. He really was just obnoxious….” Raelynn stopped and looked back at the woman thinking for a moment. “You man that stall most of the day? Every day? Look, I’m looking for someone actually…” Raelynn started “And I don’t know if you can help but any information would be appreciated actually….”

“Of course,” The old woman smiled Raelynn nodded for the Tavern door, and held it open for her. “So what’s your name dearie?”

“Raelynn Ariese Averise” Rae replied dutifully. The old woman nodded, moving to a corner table. The smells of cooked meat, and the warmth of the Tavern wafted into Rae’s body making her relax a bit more once she sat down. “And yours?”

“I am Fralia Grey-Mane” The woman smiled peacefully. A tavern waitress slid by to take their orders. Raelynn ordered some bread and a bowl of the stew and a cup of Alto wine, offering to split it with Fralia but the old matron declined. With the waitress moving away, Fralia seemed to focus her gentle features on the young mage. “So who are you looking for? Any stranger that comes through Whiterun is sure to pass by my stall at the market!”

“My brother” Raelynn started settling into her chair, the waitress returned with her cup of wine, and moved away just as quickly as she came. “He’s tall, has...lighter hair than mine but the same blue eyes. I imagine he’s built more muscle since the last time I saw him. Gods, it’s been years…He uh...he has a scar over his eyebrow. It’s barely there but it’s there... .” Raelynn paused.  

Fralia looked slightly uncomfortable. The waitress returned with Rae’s food and Raelynn did not spend a second longer without food, she dug in, breaking a piece of bread and sticking it into the stew, before sticking it into her mouth. Fralia grimaced.

“I believe I know exactly who you’re talking about, dear” Fralia finally spoke after a moment of restraining herself from slapping the young mage woman into having some manners.. “Are you talking about our Thane?”

“Thane? Ha!” Raelynn scrunched her nose through the food, but continued eating, looking up at the elderly woman. “No. No, My Brother is a soldier in the Legion’s ranks.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but I do know the man you speak of. He’s...helping me with something….” Fralia stopped. “Is his name Gael, by any chance?”

“YES!” Raelynn stopped chewing and beamed nodding excitedly.

“Then we’re talking about the same person. Your brother is the Thane of Whiterun Dear, the famed Dragonborn.”

“Wha---” Raelynn choked, she felt the stale piece of bread doused in stew slip her windpipe, the mage stood up, hitting her chest frantically.

“Oh my! Someone help her!” Fralia stood, moving towards the girl, The bard’s song stopped and someone was lifting her up, with their arms around her pushing into her torso, Raelynn flailed until with one final push the piece of bread that had lodged itself in her windpipe fell out of her. She was put down, disoriented on the floor, she clutched the chair and slid into it, a tall overbearing nord woman in steel armor came around her.

“Are you okay?” She asked

Raelynn nodded, yes, then no, and turned to Fralia, still blue in the face.

“Where is he?” Raelynn made out weakly.

“I don’t know dearie, I do know he’s joined the Companions.”


	6. At least One out of Five-Hundred....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Companions~ Yay~!

Jorrvaskr stood tall in front of Raelynn. She had frozen at the bottom of the steps, Fralia Grey-Mane, stood next to her, and gave the young mage girl’s arm a squeeze. 

“Come now,” Fralia beckoned starting up the steps at a slower pace than before when she was trying to follow Raelynn up to the Bannered Mare. “I’m sure Kodlak would be glad to tell you about your brother and his whereabouts.” 

Raelynn nodded, watching the woman start up the steps, and started herself after her, glancing only momentarily at the wailing Talos priest just to their left. 

“Kodlak, the...leader of the companions?” 

“More like an adviser, dear. My husband Eorlund tends the Skyforge up there.” Fralia explained, moving away from the front of Jorrvaskr she stepped onto a path that lead around the mead hall, Raelynn followed without much thought and looked up towards where the old woman pointed. She didn’t see the forge itself, but rather a big stone wall, and a  staircase that seemed to curve upwards. “There’s no finer smith in the nine holds.” 

Fralia moved away from the forge, and walked around to where the path opened up to what seemed to be a training area. Four straw dummies and a few targets set up against the city’s wall itself and in front of them, a clear space for sparring. Next to it, a patio with chairs and a few tables cluttered under a the shade of an awning. The clank of steel against steel stole Raelynn’s eyes back into the training area, where a tall but lanky looking, blonde, Nord man wielded an axe viciously against a slightly shorter dark haired man with a great sword. The man wielding the axe jumped at the dark-haired man almost without no consideration to his step, while the dark-haired man met each blow with a quieter, more calculating demeanor.  

Raelynn gawked trying to find her steps to Fralia. The clanking brought back a few old memories that she couldn’t help smile at.  _ Come on. I’ll never be a good soldier if you’re not even trying, Lynn. Get up. Again.  _ She always wondered why he always insisted she help him spar when he had so many friends to choose from. Or maybe he did it for her sake. The smile faded into a slight frown. 

Fralia had taken a seat on one of the benches, and leaned back, sighing in relief of being off her feet. Raelynn turned to Fralia, just as someone approached them and greeted the old woman, but the clash of steel called her back to the fight. The dark-haired man pushed the blonde man back and readied himself again. 

“What’s the matter, Tovar?” The man called out, a thick accent heavied his steady voice.

“Tch. I’m just getting warmed up” The blonde man replied, then without warning, charged in once more. The dark haired man’s great sword came up to meet Tovar’s ax with a loud CLANK. Raelynn flinched back as though expecting the ax to push through that time, her knee hit the back of Fralia’s chair. The dark haired warrior seemed to catch the sudden movement from the corner of his eye, and turned to look at her, with soft eyes the color of ice. Or maybe they just had that effect. Raelynn stared back frozen for a second before the blonde man pushed in harder breaking away sudden glance. The dark-haired man turned back to his fight, and quickly sidestepped, allowing the steel from his sword to grind against the ax, the blond man went tumbling forward he regained himself and turned back to the dark haired man but the tip of his sword was already at the man’s chest.

“What was that. Did I just---?”

“Dear?” Fralia’s voice brought Rae back to the patio. The sparring session seemed to be over for now, so Raelynn turned to Fralia and the woman standing next to them. Tall. Intimidating. Red-head. Beautiful. Raelynn sucked in a quick breath. “This is Aela the Huntress. She says Kodlak is able to see you.” 

“Kodlak?” Raelynn asked shaking her head to stop the gawking at everything here. “Right. Right. Thank you” She nodded. 

“Yes. I’ve called for Tilma to show you the way.” Aela responded, crossing her arms over her chest. “Fralia says you’re the Dragonborn’s sister? Funny, he never mentioned having family…Or a sister.” 

“I-I don’t know about that..if it is him, I mean...I’m just looking for my brother...and Fralia thinks it’s him….” Raelynn replied glancing over at Fralia. “But if he is the Dragonborn, I must find him…”  _ Find him and for what? To tell him I’m here to save him from Dragons? Stupid. I should have thought this through more….Stupid. No. He needs help, and if he is the Dragonborn then I can help him...Somehow. I don’t know what am I even doing anymore…?  _

“What is this about the Dragonborn?” The dark-haired man’s voice cut in swiftly. Raelynn took a step back but turned to him. The steel of his armor contrasted heavily with the dark fur underneath, just like the steel color of his eyes seemed more piercing within the splatter of warpaint on his face. 

“This woman claims she’s the Dragonborn’s sister,” Aela nodded motioning towards Raelynn. The man turned his attention to Rae and she could feel his eyes studying her momentarily again, before Aela's voice caught his attention again.  “Did he ever mention family to you?” 

“No.” The dark haired man replied. Aela turned back to Raelynn, the mage could feel both the huntress piercing forest greens trying to see through her. “And even so, we have no way of knowing for sure. Why would we tell her anything? After all the Dragonborn is our Shield-Brother now…..” 

“I don’t care if you believe me or not.” Raelynn shifted on her foot, her voice came out unexpectedly confident and quickly. She crossed her own arms and looked straight back at Aela, before shifting her eyes to the dark-haired man. “I just need to find my brother....That is all.” Aela smirked suddenly, but the dark haired man’s face remained stoic as they exchanged glances. Raelynn didn’t smile. 

“If I thought she was up to no good, I wouldn’t have brought her here,” Fralia spoke up. “She seems sincere, dear.” 

“She’s a mage.” The man replied. “Mages are always trouble.” 

“What? A big warrior like you? You afraid of a little mage like me? Is that it?” Raelynn’s gritted her teeth, her jaw tightening she pulled down the hood of her robe and glared at the man. 

“Me? Afraid of  _ you?  _ You’re joking.” 

“I bet I could put you on your ass.” Rae blurted out, puffing her cheeks out.  

“Raelynn, there’s no need, he didn’t mean it like that. Besides you should go speak to Kodlak….” Fralia tried to intervene, looking up at the Huntress for assistance but Aela looked very amused by the turn of events.  

“I’m sorry, but we don’t do magic here---” 

“So you are scared, then?” Raelynn replied. She pulled off her knapsack and reached for the table, where she she had spotted an iron dagger stabbed into the wood. She pulled it back, and stepped back. Motioning for the training area.

“This is ridiculous.”  

“She seems to be a woman of action, Vilkas, one you’ve offended” Aela snickered from besides Fralia. “Give her a go, unless you’re too afraid of her.” Aela’s arms tightened over her chest and her smile tried to hide the sheer amusement. The man growled at his Shield-Sister’s snicker and put down his great sword, instead picking up a longsword nearby. 

Raelynn looked over at the huntress unsure whether or not to be grateful, she breathed in, she stepped down towards the cleared area, a little unsure of what she’d gotten herself into. The man, readied herself in front of her, and then nodded. 

“Go on. You can have the first one free.” He jeered. Raelynn narrowed her eyes at him, stepped back momentarily, the distance between them seemed terribly far, and yet so near, that in a couple quick steps she was on him, her footwork giving her a slight twirl to bring down her dagger, it clashed with his sword, and he stepped back, just as she pulled back, throwing the dagger from one hand to the other, weighting it. It had been quite a while, but it was as with riding the horse, muscle memory, and in all fairness, it felt good somehow, different than her normal routine. Though maybe she should’ve watched her words about putting him on his ass...

“Not bad.” He accepted giving his own blade a spin in his hand. Raelynn waited for him to ready again, however this time, it was he that launched himself at her, much quicker than she could react, her dagger came up, just barely meeting his blade as she ducked down and sprang up moving for his midsection. He stepped back defensively bringing his blade in sideways to counter her dagger that whined terribly against his steel sword. Raelynn pushed in, grimacing at his growl, his icy eyes glared down at her deep blues. 

“Give up.” He snarled pushing his sword harder against her blade. “I’ve seen enough. You’re not lying. I don’t wish to hurt you...” 

“Apologize first.” Raelynn spat back through gritted teeth moving her face closer as she struggled to keep her dagger against his sword. But somehow...it was happening...Raelynn didn’t budge. 

“Never.” He laughed at her, pushing in himself. His laugh faded into a sudden frown, his icy eyes seemed to soften for a quick second as he took in the wryness of her deep blues, in that same instant Rae could’ve sworn his eyes flickered in color but it could’ve just been the way the sun hit his eyes. He pushed back harder than before this time, as though he’d grown serious suddenly, and yet, to the surprise painted on his face, she didn’t budge. 

“...There’s something very, very, wrong with you….” He muttered softly without the previous growl. His eyes were scanning her face frantically, as though he’d seen something on it that shouldn’t have been there. He bared his teeth, giving one last push her dagger went flying out of her hand, but before he could even react and tap victory with the point of his longsword, a jolt of lightning hit his wrist disarming him completely. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Raelynn barked back at him, launching herself at him with sparking hands. 

“No magic!” Vilkas yelled readying himself for any incoming jolts of energy, he moved to meet her, catching her wrists, and squeezing them tightly against her, the momentum threw him on his back. He grimaced, feeling the heat of the energy in her hands through his gauntlets. 

“Enough!” A stern voice older voice interrupted, Raelynn’s hands stopped sparking but Vilkas held onto her wrists tightly holding her over himself. The mage girl shook her head, wincing, and then blinking blankly down at the man she was straddling. Raelynn, felt disoriented for a moment, looked back at the older white-haired man standing next to Fralia and Aela, who seemed more amused than before. “Let go of her.” 

“Kodlak I--” The dark-haired man said, but stopped himself and then let go of Raelynn who pulled herself off of him, stumbling a little bit. “She’s…She’s...There’s something---”

“I know who she is.” Kodlak retorted his eyes falling on Raelynn sternly, who was patting herself down. Raelynn looked up and breathed. “I would speak with you in private, Raelynn.” 

Raelynn snapped to attention at her name. She focused on the elderly man and then gave an apologetic look at Fralia. Why did she feel like everything was spiraling out of her hands? Fralia nodded, and Raelynn nodded back in silent understanding. She looked at the white-haired Kodlak and nodded at him as well, she moved for her knapsack and without saying another word, followed after him.

~

The inside of Jorrvaskr seemed to steal the warmth and smells of every tavern in Skyrim, though with much more space available it didn’t feel as enclosed. Kodlak’s own quarters were at the end of a long hallway, made up of a small living area, and what she assumed was a bedroom. Raelynn was quiet until the older man motioned for her to sit down at the table. 

“I-I wanted to apologize. I don’t know what came over me…” Raelynn started but the man lifted his hand. 

“It’s fine. I should have let the others know you were expected, but since he seemed rather secretive about you,” He shook his head and pinched his nose. Raelynn looked at him and opened her mouth but he spoke again. “Gael had... _ a feeling _ you might show up. He was worried. He asked me to send you back to Winterhold if you did come.” 

“What? No. He…can’t just decide that for me.” Raelynn sunk into her chair, her thoughts didn’t slow down though. He  _ felt  _ she was going to show up? What in Oblivion was that supposed to mean? Was it the same as it was with her? Was he having strange dreams as well? “Well, I need to speak to him. Strange things have been happening and I must speak with him...” 

“Well, he’s not here, Raelynn.” Kodlak sighed again, this time his stern eyes looked through her. “I can’t decide for you either. But that is what he wants and what we spoke of. He didn’t explain, he just seemed very worried that you might in fact show up here. All he said was that Winterhold was the safest place for you, and that if he needed you, he’d come find you there….” 

“You’re kidding, right?” Raelynn shook her head in disbelief at the old man. “He’s stupid if he thinks I’m going to just sit still in Winterhold, like I’ve done all these years...Isolated. Sent away....sent away by my own family because they’re...they’re ashamed of me…or because nobody can understand...I don’t even understand...I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought...I thought if I found him...” Raelynn muttered out brokenly. She felt the tingle of sparks in her hand but closed her eyes and tried to breathe. Calm. It was something that she thought she’d gotten very good at in Winterhold but the past week and a half had shown her otherwise. All that control, the meditation, the techniques taught to her by her professors seemed for nothing. She had an affinity for magic, of that, there was no doubt, even beyond her scholarly interest, but, controlling herself? it was part of the reason she was told she should study there. Because ‘ _ your daughter is a danger to the other children _ .’  _ She _ . Not them. There was  _ nothing  _ wrong with her.  _  Nothing. Controlling herself? _ Ha! 

“Where is he?” 

“Raelynn, I know you might not understand, but think of his concern.” Kodlak nodded. “He did not seem too comfortable with all the titles suddenly pushed at him.” 

“Where is he?” Raelynn repeated. “You know, I’ll find a way to find out.” 

“I have asked him to carry an important task for me. I would respectfully ask you do not interfere.” Kodlak explained. “Farkas is with him, and they should return soon I would hope.”

Raelynn sighed and Kodlak’s face lightened. 

“I can’t force you to return to Winterhold, Raelynn.” He started. “And perhaps it is a good thing you came to Whiterun. I don’t know.” The old man seemed tired. Raelynn scrunched her nose and tilted her head at the older man. “But I could at least offer you a place to rest your head comfortably...and safely.” 

“No. I couldn’t…I can stay at the Inn” Raelynn pulled her hands onto her lap, curling up her fingers over her knees. “I know...I may not be welcomed here because of…well” She paused looking down at her hands.  _ What is wrong with me? _

“If you don’t feel comfortable, I understand,” Kodlak started. “But it’s not a complimentary offer. I’m genuinely asking you to join us.” 

“What?” Raelynn asked looking up. “No...I’m not….I depend too much on Magic.” 

“You would be naive to think that amongst the 500, there wasn’t a single mage.” Kodlak pushed. “As long as you have a good arm, and you are willing to lend your services to fight with honor you will be welcome. And I already know you have an alright arm.” 

“I…” 

“Your purse doesn’t look heavy enough to pay for more than a night’s stay at the inn, Raelynn. Indulge me. Even if it’s just an honorary title. I think Gael would sleep easier if you were here, in Jorrvaskr.” 

“I don’t know about that…” Raelynn muttered, chewing on her lips and then finally nodding. “Very well, I will stay...I will make myself useful, until Gael returns and I can have a word with him.” 

“Excellent.” Kodlak smiled gently. He nodded at her hands. “My first task for you is simple. You should probably go see Arcadia, for those burns. I imagine they’re painful.” 

“Arcadia?” Raelynn asked looking down at her hands, she turned them over, shaking and frowned.  _ Overdid, the magic much? _

“She’s Whiterun’s alchemist. I imagine, Farengar, the court wizard up in Dragonsreach might also have something that may help with that perhaps?”

“Yes….I probably...Thank you, I hadn’t even...noticed” Raelynn nodded slowly. She felt a quiet tiredness overcome her body but she still scooted towards the edge of the seat. 

“One more thing….” 

“Yes?” Raelynn stopped herself at the edge of her seat. Kodlak seemed to hesitate momentarily. 

“I’d like to ask you a few things, scholar-type things…but we can discuss that later. For now, just try to keep at ease while your brother returns...and...get some rest, you look...worn out.”

“Yes sir.” Raelynn nodded standing up. 

“Tilma…” Kodlak called out. An older woman came fumbling through the doors a few moments later. Raelynn waited and looked back at the white-haired man. She was not at all what she expected the leader of the Companions to be, but suffice to say she was pleasantly surprised. “Show our newest member where she can rest her head and provide her with directions to Arcadia’s.” 

“Yes,” 

“And also, let the others know she is one of us now.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Trying to get back on schedule and trying to post a little more than just fluff this time around. Hoping to get to some more plot stuffs next few chapters and not get too distracted. But I'm not going to lie, I might get somewhat distracted...  
> As always! Thank you for reading if you're keeping up with my weird fic!


	7. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nightmares return. And so does the masked man.

_ It was dark and damp. She was in front of a big metallic door. There was inscriptions, old nordic symbols. They rotated.  They changed. The door opened, it lead her through a long dark hallway. Old nordic tombs gave way, opening up into a clearing. The light and air filtered more clearly in this part. She could breathe better. There was water running somewhere. It was deafening. She was climbing up some steps. She felt so tired.  Whispers surrounded her, meanings, hidden from her. Things not understood.  _

_ A curved wall focused into view, strange etches in it glowed softly. The strange whispers became louder, bolder. A blue wispy breeze blew from the wall, from its etches. The whispers beckoned, they called to her.  _

_ Keeper. Unending Rage. Darkness. Force.  _

_ The pieces were broken and hard to put together in her head. It wasn’t a thought, more of a feeling. Raelynn felt dizzy. She backed away suddenly, stumbling away, a feeling in her gut deepened. The whispers called her back. Louder. Angrier. The wind blue harshly trying to pull her back, but she couldn’t let them. No. Something was wrong. She couldn’t let them pull her to them. There would be danger. Danger…? Horrible….Danger…She wanted to go to them, but...her that feeling in her gut made her still.  _

_ Someone was standing in front of her, Gael, but he was looking at the wall with his back to her, the whispers were pulling him in, the blue wind pushed through him.  _

_ “Gael…!” Raelynn started towards him, but she felt herself slip  just before she could reach him, the image faded, she was falling, no, not falling sinking, and she couldn’t breath, she heard the muffled taunts coming from above. The water wasn’t splashing anymore. She shut her eyes and tried reaching out for something, anything...anyone...and then, everything changed and she could breathe. She was alone, in green-tinted darkness that was starting to seem more and more familiar everytime.  _

_ Raelynn tried to catch her breath, patting her robes down, but they weren’t wet. There was nothing here but her, and her thoughts, and perhaps...Him. He was always here. Raelynn looked up, and jumped back in surprise seeing him directly in front of her, staring at her with the darkness from the eye holes in his mask.   _

_ “You….again” Raelynn finally breathed out, she wasn’t even sure if she said it, a familiar dizziness entered her head. She felt as though she had awoken, but her surroundings told her otherwise.  _

_ “So, it seems” He stated looking up and around before settling his eyes back down on the mage now in front of him. “Have you found the Dragonborn?”  _

_ “No.” Raelynn replied shortly.  _

_ “Then why do you waste my time, summoning me here?”  _

_ “I...I did not summon you here. I...I was...having a nightmare...and then you appeared.” Raelynn replied quickly shaking her head. He stood quiet. Rae rubbed her fingers against her palms and tried to breathe easier. His attention seemed taken for another moment before he turned back to her.   _

_ “Interesting. A nightmare? Or a Memory? You fell into the water...” His mask tilted to the left and then back to her and Raelynn shrunk away from him. “I think I remember as well…”  _

_ “I didn’t fall. They threw me in.”  Raelynn muttered out and shook her head. He seemed quiet for another moment more.  _

_ “You could have stopped them. Easily” His metallic voice brought distaste in Raelynn’s mouth. She looked up at him, but he was facing away. What did he know? _

_ “I could have hurt someone.”  _

_ “And they weren’t hurting you?”  _

_ “Not as badly as I could’ve hurt them” She retorted looking away from him completely now. _

_ “So you were expected to withstand the abuse.” He paused, the eyeholes in his mask seemed to pierce right through her. “Simply because you were different. Your easy disposition for the magical made everyone afraid.”  _

_ “I didn’t want to hurt anyone” Raelynn replied scrunching her nose at him.  _

_ “That’s a lie.” He pointed out calmly. It irritated her. Why was she even discussing anything with this...this damned Daedra? _

_ “Restraint. Restraint...it’s called restraint.” She shook her head. Her index finger rubbed her temple. “Why ...am I even discussing this with you? You don’t know me. Get out of my head.”  _

_ “Restraint…?” He moved towards her. “Is that what you were taught? Is that why you’ve subdued yourself thus? Do you really believe that? Look how well you’ve come along without it…”  _

_ “What? What do you mean?” Raelynn hissed at him, a realization seemed to sink into her. “You.”  She stepped towards him and he did not move, her hand lifted covered in a blue spark. She stopped herself, and he seemed amused, even through the mask. “What are you doing to me?”  _

_ “I’m allowing you the freedom you’ve always wanted, the power you were too afraid to acknowledge.” He shrugged. “Don’t you like it?” _

_ “Freedom?” Raelynn scoffed. “Liar. What I want is for you to let me go. Completely. Get out of my head. You’re ruining my life!” Raelynn shook her hand, but it only crackled harder, the blue reflected in his eye holes but he remained where he stood and did not move. Something in Raelynn’s chest tightened. She couldn’t shake away the emotions, couldn’t calm herself.   _

_ “Go on…” He taunted. Raelynn faltered, she turned her blue eyes away, her hand still crackled but she was hesitating. This was what he wanted. Well he couldn’t have it. Suddenly, she felt something lift her chin, a thumb and finger, the scratch of his glove felt so real it, it made her flinch in surprise, but he kept her face steady and found herself staring straight into his mask. The Golden curvatures held no emotion, only a cold distance that made her want to look away again. “If you really want your freedom…. _ **_Take it._ ** _ ”  _

_ Raelynn felt the knot tighten in her chest. The whispers from before slithered into her brain, her face felt hot and she felt her throat tighten further, as though she was going to throw up. She held it down and pushed it back down into her lungs, her whole being screamed at her. Don’t.  _ **Danger.**

_ The sparks in her hand disappeared as she refocused through the dizziness in her head. He glanced at her hand and then turned his mask back to her face.  _

_ “Good. You know what you must do then. Afterwards, I will consider freeing you” his metallic voice whispered.  _

_ “You’ll  _ **_consider_ ** _ it?” Raelynn scoffed.  _

_ “Yes. I’ll consider it.”  _

_ “No. I demand that you free me right now. I spurn yo---aghh” He let go and stepped back. Raelynn reached for her head, the dizzying sensation had evolved into a piercing headache. He seemed to just watch her steadily and did not move until her breath evened out.  _

_ “Stop fighting me.” He stated coldly. “This would be painless if you simply stopped resisting. You cannot undo my influence and you will not. You will remain bound to me until I say so.”  _

_ “What...Why are you doing this..? Please...Let me go. Get out of my head, please….” Raelynn stepped back.  _

_ “The why of it, is none of your concern,” The black holes of his mask stared at her, and Raelynn shook her head tussling the curtain of raven hair on her head. She wanted to curl up and cry from the pain. Both her hands clutched at her head helplessly. _

_ “Please...whoever you are, whatever you are...get out...of my head.” Raelynn whined her face twisted in pain.  _

_ “Please?” He seemed to savor the word. “Stop begging. I am not the one doing this to you. I’ve told you already, stop resisting my influence. Why do you resist me? You think I’ve hurt you, but have I?” _

_ “You’re hurting me now! Stop!” She screamed but he only watched. “I don’t belong to you! I will never….be your servant, slave, whatever it is you want….with...the dragonborn...I will not...bring...” His attention seemed to shift, her hands, though clutching at her head miserably were sparking louder than before. He stepped forward suddenly.  _

_ “Stop this! Foolish girl! You’re going to injure yourself gravely!” His voice held a stern irritation, he closed the space between them quickly stepping towards her, he grabbed for her wrists and was met with a rush of lightning from her hand. It hit him straight into the left side of his mask, it broke away half of it, the little golden pieces fell away, and a steel grey eye looked back at the mage girl, who had finally snapped to attention, tears at the brim of her blue eyes, she looked shocked more than anything. He held her wrists tightly, the thinness of his lips extended downwards in a frown, just before the mask rematerialized over his face.   _

_ “Who...are you?” Raelynn grimaced. The pain had dulled itself momentarily now that she wasn’t focused on throwing him out. He was silent until the mask fully regained itself over his face, appearing particle by particle.  _

_ “I don’t wish to hurt you more than necessary, Raelynn” He muttered at her, his hands still gripping her tightly,  _

_ “I hate this….I hate this anger...this hatred you make me feel.” Raelynn coughed out, curling her fingers and twisting her wrists. Her hands still managed a small spark.  _

_ “That was already there.”  _

_ “I don’t need it.”  _

_ “You might not think you do. But for a mage, feeling is indispensable.” He paused “For every quest undertaken, proper instruments are needed. A sword, a dagger, it makes no difference. As long as it’s sharp enough. And if it is not, it must be tempered and sharpenned until it’s ready.”  _

_ “Every swordsman needs a blade but some blades aren’t meant to be wielded” She shot back.  _

_ “Yet, I don’t believe you’re the type of blade meant to be left propped up on a wall for decorative purposes. Your sharp edge hidden in a worthless scabbard of honor and kindness, yearning for blood it will never taste. Be true with yourself, is that really where you want to stay, Raelynn?”  _

_ “I...Stop saying my name like you know me, when I don’t even know yours.” Raelynn replied, she felt tired, exhausted, as though she’d been fighting for weeks and to no avail. He was quiet again, the grip on her wrists softened but he did not let go of her.  _

_ “I do know you. All of you. You cannot expect to summon me here, and hide yourself from me. This experiment of sorts, while successful, yielded unexpected and rather irritating...side effects” His voice changed, it was as though he was talking to himself out loud, his gaze wandered beyond her.  His mask turned back to her. “As for my name...that....is a forgotten matter….” His voice seemed lost again. “Perhaps I will share it with you one day if you are successful in your endeavor and we are both free. But not now.” _

_ “You’re not a daedra are you?” Raelynn asked much more calmly, the dull ache in her head remained but it wasn’t piercing or threatening to implode her head.  _

_ “No. Obviously not.”  _

_ “Then what are you? Why are you doing this?”  _

_ “I am the first.” He replied after a brief moment.  He let go of her and stepped back, putting his hands neatly in front of him. “That is all I will answer for now, Goodbye Raelynn.”  _

_ “Wait…No!!” Raelynn reached for him but he was gone. And so was she.  _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while RL has been kicking my ass.  
> I wanted to do a fluff chapter but also add some type of plot meat in there.  
> Anyway, hopefully the next one won't take me so long. Probably going to skip a little coming up. Thanks for reading! :)  
> 


	8. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae gets a job assigned from the Harbinger, and finds a few scattered memories in the plains of Whiterun.

“Ow….” Raelynn muttered out opening her eyes slowly. She felt the same as that time she’d been at the Frozen Hearth trying to outdrink J’zargo. As shitty as her head felt, the warm memory made her smile, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the sensation that she had forgotten something important again.

“Dammit” Rae muttered pulling herself to the edge of her corner bed. The living quarters were empty, probably because she had slept in more than she wanted to. “Dammit.” She whispered again, trying to swallow the sourness in back of her mouth while she scooted to the edge of the bed. 

“Hey. New Blood.” A woman’s voice snapped Rae’s attention to the doorway, where an intimidating, yet pretty nord lady was leaning, looking at her with slight irritation. “The Harbinger would have a word with you.” 

“Yeah...OK..…I’ll...uh….” 

“Down the hall, in his quarters.” The blonde nodded, her face seemed to soften for a moment before she turned away from Raelynn and disappeared into the hallway. Rae didn’t dare move until the Companion was gone. Was everyone here required to be that intimidating? No matter. She’d be out of their way soon enough. As soon as she talked to Gael. Then? Then, she’d play it by ear. Raelynn finished fixing her boots, she flexed her fingers, stretching her hands under loosening bandages. Her hands felt better, but the blisters still stung.  _ No magic for a bit,  _ Raelynn thought miserably, feeling the ache and burn of a blister forming in her left palm. 

Kodlak’s room was easy to find at least. Rae stopped and moved to knock but a muffled voice slipped through the crack of the door and stopped her hand from knocking. She recognized it as the man from the day before.

“.....The blood, I mean, it just reacted badly...” Vilkas was talking. Vilkas? That’s what the huntress had called him….? She shifted, pulling herself back away from the door, perhaps she should come by later? “It was an unusual feeling. Like something was  _ very _ wrong.”

“I see. Has this happened before?”

“No...I can’t say it has. There’s something...I can’t put my finger on it. She  _ must _ be hiding something...” Raelynn didn’t move but her jaw clenched. “We mustn’t let our guard down, now of all time--” 

“We are all hiding something, though, aren’t we?” Kodlak voice interrupted kindly. Rae caught a breath, she sighed, she couldn’t really blame them for the mistrust. Especially not after yesterday’s...show. Whatever that was.  _ Restraint _ . Raelynn breathed in.

“I doubt she has anything to do with the Silver hand. Nor do I think she’s lying about her brother. If she really is the Dragonborn’s sister, we must do everything we can to safekeep her until he returns, especially after his  _ involvement _ . That is why I am asking this of you.” Silver Hand? What was that? Rae perked up.

“Kodlak, I must ask you to reconsider, I don’t know if I can keep the blood from call--

Raelynn pushed the door in. They both looked up at her, though with different reactions. In her mind, she had imagined herself pushing the door in and bolting the dark-haired man, or perhaps at least demanding to know what they were being so secretive about, but instead, she stood at the door, hesitant and nervous. 

“I’m sorry. I…” 

“Weren’t you taught manners?” Vilkas asked roughly

“Vilkas please, you know all are welcome in my study. And besides, I called for her.” Kodlak intervened. Raelynn bit her tongue and turned to Kodlak nodding. 

“I was told there was something you needed me to do?” 

“Yes. Farengar, the Jarl’s court wizard requested an escort.” Kodlak explained quietly. “He wants to examine the dragon bones left by the west watch tower. Since the Jarl’s men are run a little thin, he wishes us to provide him security while he is outside castle walls. I thought it might be of interest to you.” 

“Dragon bones? Actual...Dragon bones?” Raelynn perked up, suddenly forgetting her intent of asking what a Silver hand was. She glanced at the dark-haired man and then back to Kodlak. “Yes, Yes, I would definitely like to see that. Is that the dragon that attacked Whiterun…?” 

“Yes. I’m glad you’re interested. Report to Farengar at Dragonsreach immediately. He is quite anxious to examine the remains. You will be paid upon return.” Kodlak nodded. 

“Yes, definitely, I will! This is something amazing, isn’t it?” Rae nodded quickly “Dragonsreach is the...Jarl’s castle?” 

“Yes.” Kodlak replied, “Up the steps, just past our hall. By the way, how are your hands, girl?”

“I-uh...better, Thank you. Arcadia really knows her stuff” Raelynn replied stopping herself from running out and turning to show him the bandages wrapped tightly around her hands. He smiled. Raelynn frowned and lowered her eyes, looking over at the dark-haired man that seemed to be staring at her with irritation. Well, she couldn’t blame him, really. 

“I don’t expect much trouble on such a small job, however, I would like you to ask Eorlund to give you a weapon before you go.” 

“I...appreciate the offer. But I don’t want to trouble while I’m here, besides, I prefer my own dagger” She nodded turning away she lifted her knapsack to reveal a small sheathed knife tucked sideways under a fold of her robe.  

“It really is no trouble Raelynn,” Kodlak nodded

“That….barely qualifies as a dagger, what is that? A sharpened stick?” Vilkas finally spoke up with a laugh. 

“Nobody asked you your opinion sword-boy....” Raelynn snapped back, dropping her knapsack and turning to face them. 

“Learn your place Sparks.” Vilkas crossed his arms and shook his head at her before turning to Kodlak. “She’s going to get the Court wizard killed,”

“Well, then, perhaps she would benefit from the company of a shield brother to guide her.” Kodlak interjected carefully. “At the same time, you can observe the new blood, and make sure she’s worthy of undergoing trial.” 

“I can handle this myself.” Raelynn replied. 

“Farengar is waiting. We should go.” Vilkas’ expression darkened into a steep resignation. He stood up, and started towards the doorway without. “I will report to you later, Kodlak. Come on Sparks.” 

“I have a  _ name _ .” Raelynn hissed after him, with a few reluctant steps. 

~

Farengar was a silly neurotic man. At first, Rae had been a little excited to meet a mage, and not just any mage, but a Jarl’s adviser. What kind of scholar would he be? But then, things changed the moment Farengar opened his mouth. How dare he, think she was a courier here to deliver supplies from the college? And then to add insult to injury he laughed loudly when she said she was actually with the companions there to escort him.

If it wasn’t for the intimidating man standing behind her, glaring through war painted stained eyes he probably wouldn’t have stopped laughing. 

_ “You look more like an apprentice or one of those vagrants that get thrown out of the college.”  _  She should have zapped him, but her hands hurt, and besides, she was very much aware that lately, she had been solving all her problems via a Zap. Instead, she tried to focus the attention on his research. As pedantic as he was, it seemed to her he had some very interesting theories about dragons. Plural.

Of course, Farengar, she knew, probably suffered the curse of most every mage that didn’t live in the college: loneliness and over excitedness about things he probably didn’t have anyone to talk to about. So that the moment she began to speak to him about his theories, he began to ramble about burial grounds, even as they walked through the market and out of the city gates.  

Farengar strided quickly ahead of Rae through the plains of The White hold, while Rae hung back a little, and Vilkas kept his distance behind them both.

“The appearance of the Dragonborn cannot be a coincidence,” Farengar rambled “Though if you ask me, it’s quite suspicious that no other Dragons have attacked the city since he left.” 

“How do you know there’s even more than one?” Raelynn asked striding faster to try to keep up. Farengar stopped finally and he seemed out of breath but rather giddy. 

“Reportedly, this isn’t the same dragon that attacked Helgen.” 

“How do you know?” 

“The Dragonborn told us.” Farengar stated, he turned back towards the road, most of the rubble from the crippled tower had been cleared, but Raelynn could see where the tower had been struck and crumpled. Unlike Helgen however, there were no charred bodies here. Farengar slipped off the road, and moved excitedly towards the side of the crumbled tower. Raelynn stopped, hesitating and glancing over at Vilkas who nodded for her to go on, before she followed after him. 

Around the tower’s curve, a few feet from it, was a nearly immaculate skeleton, it stretched out across the plains, it’s skull held an open jaw as though it had yelled out a terrible curse before it fell from the sky. Farengar couldn’t hold in his excitement and clapped happily. 

“Wonderful specimen!” He proclaimed. “I suppose it’s a good thing that the Companions have a scholar amongst them, here, help me scrape some samples.” He stated moving towards the skeleton and pulling out a small knife. Raelynn glanced at Vilkas one more time who had found one of the stones from the tower and taken a seat with his arms still crossed. She moved towards Farengar and watched him scrape one of the bones from the wing into a small vial. He handed it to Raelynn and then pushed the knife towards her. “Could you get some from the top of the skull? I can’t climb up there.” He pointed. Rae sighed and nodded, climbing up carefully. “Now, if only we could determine the how of these creatures…” 

_ Dovahkiin _ . 

“You said the Dragonborn brought this one down?” Raelynn muttered crouching on top of the skull now, she squinted her eyes.

“Yes. Irileth and a detachment were sent. It was a good thing he was around.” Farengar replied trying to fruitlessly lift up a wing bone.

“Do you know where he came from?” 

_ Dovahkiin. _

“The Dragonborn? No. I didn’t care to ask him. Irileth and the Jarl must know.” Farengar replied strained from the weight. He was now circling the dragon. “This is wonderful! If only the Jarl had enough men to bring it back to my lab. I would very much love to scrape and examine every inch of this beauty….” 

Raelynn stood up and breathed in. The plains were beautiful under a bright blue sky, and yet her smile seemed to fade momentarily. 

_ The rubble scattered around her was on fire. She could smell burnt bodies again. There were three or four Whiterun guards sprawled across the plains in weird positions they shouldn’t be in, as though they’d been thrown, the tundra cotton near them was stained with red. They were yelling, arrows flew into the air, fire came back in a roaring voice she didn’t recognize.  _

_ “You are brave. Bahlaan hokoron. Your defeat brings me honor.” Grey skies. Who are you….? _

“Hey! Are you listening to me?” Farengar’s voice shook Rae back into the sunny day. She shook her head and looked at the wizard who was now under her. “Did you get those samples?” 

“Uh..Yes.” She mouthed and handed him the vials, before hopping down. 

“Perfect, you know, if you need a better job, you could always become my assistant. You show an aptitude for more than drunken brawls.”

Raelynn smiled and shook her head again trying to shake off the weird memory. She moved away from Farengar who kept talking about perks of becoming his assistant. She rounded the dead dragon one last time and crouched just next to it’s left wing, where a bed of Tundra Cotton sat, surprisingly untouched liked the rest of the plants around the skeleton that had been seared as if by fire. Raelynn moved to pick the tender white flowers but they faded in her hand, as though blown away by the whisper of the wind.

“...of course, there might be some late nights, and sometimes I will need you to deliver things for me but…” 

“Mirmulnir.” She said quietly standing up and looking at the Court Wizard. “His name…” She pointed at the dragon. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The Dragon’s name was Mirmulnir.” She repeated to Farengar who tilted his head and looked at her with sheer amusement. 

“And pray tell, how would you know that?” 

“I...I don’t know.” Raelynn shook her head and turned away, she felt a stare piercing her back, Vilkas shifted his eyes and she turned back to Farengar. “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.” 

“Nonsense. Anyway,” Farengar smiled. “I couldn’t pay you as much but I could offer you scholarly mentoring. Insight and you could run the field tests for me.”

Raelynn scrunched her nose at him, and shook her head. So an errand person. He just wanted an errand person. 

“I appreciate the offer, and I suppose it’s an honor” Raelynn stopped and grimaced “But...I will have to respectfully decline. I don’t think I’ll be staying in Whiterun very long.”

“Really then? Why is that? I thought you were one of the Companions?” 

“Honestly, I’m just here for my bro--

“For her trial.” Vilkas’ voice piped up from his perch on the rock. He was staring at both mages. “We have many in our employ that seek glories in distant lands. Now I don’t mean to interrupt the...” he waved at the dragon “Specimen collecting but, it will be getting late soon.”  

“Yes, yes, of course.” Farengar nodded and moved back to the skeleton. Raelynn hung back, and looked towards the tower. The wind was whispering again. 

_ Dovahkiin…? No….. _

When she looked back, Farengar was trying to pry a bone off the skeleton, and Vilkas was peering at her with suspicious eyes.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I was finally able to update. RL kicking my ass. I been doing some outlines, so hopefully the next few chapters will be a little better. Hope this isn't too crappy, and thanks for reading!


	9. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Food.

Rae hadn’t meant to stay long, but Farengar didn’t know when to stop when it came to his theories, and honestly, Rae had to accept she was rather inclined to listen to him. He had some interesting theories about the dragons and their return. He had some artifact collected from the nearby barrow, a table made of stone with a map on it. In the nature of scholarly camaraderie, he even let Rae transcribe the map into a scroll for study, of course, with the promise that she would return to discuss any findings. Farengar, was also willing to part with some books he had, and Rae was always glad to have something to read. 

The discussion might have gone on longer, with Rae egging the court wizard on with his theories, had it not been for the grimacing companion in the corner shooting daggers with his eyes at Rae, anytime she glanced in his direction. It slipped Rae’s understanding why the warrior couldn’t just excuse himself and leave if he was so irritated. It didn’t matter anyway, they were leaving the keep now and Raelynn pushed  her new books into her knapsack and slipped through the front door of Dragonsreach.

Raelynn stopped just outside and took a breath of crisp air in. All of Whiterun was visible from Dragonsreach. The setting sun had long ago burst the sky into hues of red and bright orange that gradually faded into a deep blue and purple, and below, the city was welcoming the cool darkness of the night with bobbing light from lanterns and torches. Even this late in the evening, though, the Keep itself was still bustling with visitors and guards changing shifts. Rae’s shoulders relaxed for a split second before catching the movement behind her, but the man didn’t move past her. 

“You know, I get the feeling that you weren’t sent with me, to watch Farengar” Raelynn started turning to him, he stood there, taller than her, with arms crossed and looking at her with an undecidedly cold blue stare. “You don’t have to babysit me.” 

“Believe me, I have better things to do, Sparks.” He replied “I’m just doing as a Shield Brother should. And as Kodlak asked.” 

“Shield Brother?” Raelynn poked back taking a few steps down, he stared after her but didn’t move from the top of the steps.  

“Let’s just get back and report to Kodlak.” He muttered finally moving. 

“No, you go on ahead” Raelynn said turning her head to glance at him over her shoulder as she started down the steps quickly. “I’d like to take a look around town. It’s not every day you’re not stuck inside a tower surrounded by never ending winter...”

“No. We’re both going back to Jorrvaskr.” Vilkas groused picking up his own pace after her. The Talos Priest was still yelling near the fountain. The small ebony-haired mage jumped down the last three steps and turned back to him without missing a step backwards

“There’s a temple to Kynareth here...I’d like to see that. And this tree...This tree is special, right? I get the feeling it is. Maybe someone there knows about it…? It doesn’t look too good” Raelynn pointed at the bare branches of the tree that sat in the middle of the plaza. She walked backwards around it and Vilkas followed her wearily.  

“It’s dead.”  He snipped. 

“Then after, I’d like, perhaps, a warm meal.” Raelynn continued, moving around the tree, and skipping over the small canal that framed the tree, she moved towards the edge of the stairway that lead down to the market but then came back rounded back towards the temple. Vilkas followed, with an irritated stare. 

“We have food at Jorrvaskr.”

“Yes. Just like they had food at the College...but I’m sure the tavern here has treats I couldn’t get there” Raelynn replied moving towards the steps. She stopped and he moved after her, though his frown deepened. “Stop following me. Nobody invited you.” 

That froze him mid-step. He blinked at her momentarily, slightly dumbstruck at her sudden snap. 

“Our mission is over anyway, so go back to Kodlak and report to him that the Court Wizard didn’t die.” Raelynn shrugged. “That’s what you were worried about, right? Or are were you really sent to watch someone else?” 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you, Sparks.” Was his careful, aggravated reply. He crossed his arms again, this time tighter, and his frown stopped momentarily. “Why don’t you explain something though? How did you know the Dragon’s name?” 

 

“That...I don’t know.” Raelynn snipped suddenly, shaking her head and stepping back. She didn’t even glance at him and started towards the temple moving away rather quickly.  

“You know that’s not an answer. What happened out there? Your eyes flashed....” He pushed but Raelynn didn’t even glance at him and she was gone into the temple, slamming the door behind her before he could get through. By the time he made it inside she had already struck conversation with the priestess about the damned tree. Vilkas sighed deeply and moved towards the side of the door, keeping an eye on her. He waited for her to finish and when she was finally done, he followed her out of the temple and down to the Market to Arcadia’s. 

“Sparks.” He growled at her, but the mage girl didn’t turn to look at him, and instead quickened her pace faster, down the market, and towards Arcadias, she made it inside the alchemist’s shop, and once again, closed the door on him. This time, he waited outside, and when she was out, she started towards the bannered mare “Sparks!” He spoke up a little louder. She stopped.

“I’m hungry. Aren’t you?” He sighed and followed her inside. 

“Hey it’s you! I hope you don’t choke on your food this time, okay?” A blonde woman called to Rae from the corner. Vilkas recognized her as Uthgerd the Unbroken. Raelynn smiled and waved at her timidly before sinking into the chair of the corner table. Vilkas took the seat on the other side of the table begrudgingly and leaned against the wall. 

“Surprise seeing you here, and not Farkas. And with a new friend?” A waitress smiled at Vilkas before he could open his mouth, though his glare seemed to redirect her conversation away from further questions. “What will it be?” He leaned forward and looked at Raelynn motioning for her to order.

“A serving of cabbage and rabbit leg stew, and a bit of that roast” Raelynn started and then glancing towards the bar, “and some Mead, please”

“And you?” 

“I’ll have Honeybrew and...some roast ” He answered quietly. 

“Alright, I’ll have that right out,” The waitress smiled and moved away, leaving them both in an uncomfortable silence. Raelynn didn’t look at him and focused on the merry drunkards and the bard near the center fire pit. 

“You need to answer my question” 

“Farkas is…?” She replied back after a moment. 

“My brother. He’s also a companion.” Vilkas replied gruffly. Raelynn nodded. Kodlak had mentioned that name before too. “Stop changing the subject.” 

“So your brother is out there somewhere with my brother?” Raelynn blinked with a sigh and pulled her sight away from the bard who was now reciting Ragnar the Red. She placed her eyes on him, and he returned the gaze. 

“You shouldn’t talk about your brother so openly.” Vilkas stated coldly. Their eyes met momentarily and his expression softened somewhat. He shook his head, and she looked away.

“Is that why you kept butting in anytime Farengar brought him up? Why? I’m trying to find him. Speaking about him openly got me to Jorrvaskr.” 

“You should be thankful it didn’t take you somewhere else. Somewhere less...welcoming.” He snapped back with another shake of his head. “You’re careless. You’re going to get yourself killed.” 

“Then maybe you should tell me what I’m missing? Why the secrecy? Everyone seems to know the Dragonborn...” Raelynn tilted her head, leaned into the table. Her eyes shined with the fire from the pit. He looked back at her but didn’t budge from his position. His mouth twisted downard, and he frowned deeply again. 

“You’re a smart girl, aren’t you, Sparks?” He finally let out. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that your brother has attracted a lot of attention.” 

“And…?” She wrinkled her nose and squinted her eyes at him. 

“And not all of it is good attention. Stop that, you look like a stupid rabbit” He waved her off. “I’m not telling you. The Dragonborn can tell you when he returns if he so wishes.” 

“Is that why Kodlak is making you watch me?” Raelynn asked with a frown. “You should know I’m perfectly capable of defending myself.” 

“Are you? I’ve already told you, I’m just doing as a Shield Brother would do” 

Raelynn opened her mouth to protest but the Waitress had returned with their meals. The smell of the food took the tension out of her shoulders for a split second and her attention away from the man sitting across from her. The silence between them weighed heavily. 

“Enjoy!” The Waitress smiled and walked off after Raelynn paid her. Vilkas frowned. 

“I could have--

“It’s fine.” Raelynn interrupted him, through a mouthful of stew. “I get the impression that you’re not getting paid for babysitting me, or are you still going to deny that’s why Kodlak sent you with me?” 

“Thank you, but it was unnecessary. I suppose there’s no point in trying to dissuade you. Yes. He asked me to look after you until the Dragonborn returns,” Vilkas accepted moving for his food, and grimacing at her stuffing her face as though she was a famished skeever. “You shouldn’t resent Kodlak. He is simply looking out for you.” 

“Perhaps...but I don’t understand what the big fuss is about. Why the worry?” Raelynn muttered digging into her roast. 

“It’s not a good time for Jorrvaskr right now. Ok?” He retorted. She glared at him but said nothing and instead focused on eating. They ate in silence for a few more moments. “Look. It’s not my place to tell you what’s going on. I’m just doing as Kodlak asked of me. I ask that you do not make it harder than it has to be.” 

“You and Kodlak know nothing of me. And I don’t need a babysitter.” She snapped back stubbornly. “But I suppose you’re right, if the old man is going to make you watch me anyway, just because my brother apparently is in on some big dangerous secret…” 

“I’m not...doubting your capability.” Vilkas sighed abandoning his food and deeply pinching his nose “Your...technique with the dagger isn’t half-bad. But...you walked into Jorrvaskr at the worst possible time.” He spat out quietly. Raelynn eyed him with a mouthful of stew in her mouth. He waved her off. “You’re quick with the dagger, and you have your...magic, but you leave a lot of open space. I assume it was the dragonborn that taught you how to weild? You have similar styles...”

“I was his sparring partner when we were younger.” Raelynn replied with a shrug, putting down her spoon. “He always wanted to be a soldier, and...I had to learn or get wacked with his wooden sword…” 

“I see.” He took a drink of his mead, while Raelynn reached for hers. “And you? Did you want to be…” He motioned at her robe.

“A mage?” Raelynn frowned at him. “Yeah, sure I guess, not that you really get a choice when you’re... _ gifted _ ” Raelynn rolled her eyes, using her finger quotes to add to the sarcasm. She picked up her spoon again.  “The college isn’t half bad...I get all the books I can read, I get to learn interesting spells, and research interesting things...and I learn how to control...myself.” 

“You don’t sound too convinced.” 

“No. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve found my place there. And I enjoy studying there. But I’ve always wanted to travel. To learn and see things for myself instead of just reading them.” She brightened for a moment but then returned to the slump in her chair. “There are alot of things that you can’t learn from books.” 

The silence fell between them again. He let her finish her food in silence. The bard was singing the Dragonborn’s song, which stole the mage-girl’s blue eyes. 

“Can you answer my question now? What happened earlier?”

“You won’t answer my questions either....” Raelynn countered.

“It’s not my place to do so.” 

More silence. She looked away and when the song ended she looked back at him. 

“Would you believe me if I told you I don’t really know?” She finally said. “I don’t know what happened. All of this has been a big headache. I haven’t been myself lately. Just like I don’t know why I lost it yesterday. I am sorry about that.”  Raelynn sighed, she sipped up the last of her stew and turned back to the man who was nursing his mead. He seemed to relax slightly, but tensed up when she reached into her knapsack and pulled out a small vial. 

“What’s that?” 

“I know you holding my sparking hands couldn’t have been a painless experience even with your gauntlets on.” Raelynn nodded and pushed the vial forward. “This should help ease the burn.” 

He took the vial, setting down his mug and looked at it reluctantly then past at her, with her bandaged hands set flat on the table her fingers tapping against the wood. Vilkas remembered the feeling of those hands pushing lightning through his gauntlets. And it wasn’t just any small novice spell. Many a time there was, that he had been out on a job, and had been shocked, She was, as far as he could tell, at least talented in shocking the shit out of him. He straightened up and coughed. 

“I did not mean to offense to you when I said something was wrong...” He stated, though his voice was cautious. 

“Then what did you mean?”

“I...have a sixth sense of sorts.” He was hesitant. This time he was the one to look away. “Look, Sparks, I know you’re not going to leave without seeing your brother, but why are you here, really? Your brother is a capable warrior, and you’re a smart girl. You should know this. Shouldn’t you return to Winterhold now that you know he is fine?”

“You don’t understand. I don’t either. I don’t. But I can  _ feel _ something. Something awful. And nobody will believe me. I  _ have _ to talk to him. I have to. These dreams...I…I...I know something is  _ wrong _ .” Raelynn swallowed and looked away from him, onto her hands. “I…I…” What was she supposed to say? The same thing she had been telling everyone, including herself? She had a bad dream so she dropped everything and came running? There had to be more….right? Except there wasn’t. She was grasping at the thin air. 

“Dreams?” 

“I don’t know!” Raelynn snapped at him suddenly, scrunching her face again. “I’m trying to figure it out…okay?” Her voice had raised past the Bard’s song, and the tavern had seemed to have gone relatively quiet. The walls were closing in, and she felt her head explode into a deep headache as she scoured her brain for what to say to him. Raelynn stood up and stormed past him, pushing the door open, her lungs searching for the cold crisp air. Vilkas sighed deeply and stood, walking out after her but alas at a slower pace. 

“Raelynn.” He called to her from the doorway, following her down the steps. Rae stopped and turned back in a snap, it was odd to hear the thick voice saying her name so coolly. She didn’t remember ever telling it to him, but Kodlak probably did. He stepped back defensively, her hands at her side sparked, a feeling in his gut froze him. She looked as she had the day before, though this time, it felt as though she was struggling more. 

“Sparks! Stop!” He called out once more. This time, she shook her head and blinked, Raelynn’s eyes caught the spark in her hand and she waved them off quickly as though it was a fire she hadn’t intended. She looked lost for a moment. She felt lost. 

“Leave me alone.” She snapped at him and moved away. He watched her move quickly away through the market. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Smol Chapter, wanted to extend it out and I have a good chunk written out after this, but I wanted to post this at least since I've been bad about updating.   
> Hopefully the next one won't take me as long. I'm not busy this weekend so going to try to get some plot stuffs in :) 
> 
> Thank as always, for reading! :)


	10. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae keeps doing miscellaneous jobs for the Companions while awaiting her Brother's return.

Rorikstead wasn’t very far from Whiterun, which was why Raelynn had accepted to escort Rorik himself back to his manor from his trip to Whiterun. The trip would have gone faster if they had leased out a couple horses from the stable, but unfortunately, none of the horses would allow for Raelynn to even get near them. They reared and neighed, almost hissing at her and biting at her. So walking it was. Not that it was too far, anyway, but riding would have been nice. She kept pace with the nobleman while Vilkas followed somewhat behind, but close enough to keep with the small group.

She hadn’t really spoken to him since their _talk_ at the bannered mare a few days before. She had complained to Kodlak about Vilkas accompanying her, and from what Kodlak had said, she was sure the dipshit had complained about having to babysit her too. But there was no arguing with Kodlak it seemed. The old man was oblivion-bent on having the warrior watch her, even if it was small things like helping the Priest of Arkay at the Hall of the Dead in Whiterun. Thankfully, there were no words between them other than what was necessary. The nobleman they were escorting though, he apparently, loved to talk.  

Raelynn was rather thankful when they finally left him in his Manor and started back towards Whiterun, through the plains of the Whitehold, under a soft, blue sky that was starting to fade into orange. With the nobleman out of their hands and just having to return back, Raelynn relaxed a bit more, bouncing a little through the flowers, and picking some and stuffing them in her bag as she went. Vilkas still hung back behind her, and she could feel his eyes following her, and at some point or other she thought he was going to say something, but instead his mouth twisted downward and he just trudged on. At least he was listening to her about keeping away from her. It’d probably be another hour until they reached the gates, and it would probably be dark by the time they got there.

“Sparks.” His voice finally cut through her, when the sun was about gone, she was crouched in place pulling some Tundra Cotton from a small bush. He seemed to pick up the pace until he was next to her.

“What do you want?” Raelynn replied shortly, but never losing the attention on the flowers she was pulling up. She felt him near her quickly and pull her up by the arm, sternly, though it didn’t hurt her.

“Stop picking flowers. We need to hurry and get back.”  He said to her, letting her go. Raelynn huffed at him, who did he think he was, to boss her around like that? She opened her mouth, but he seemed rather alarmed, his eyes seemed preoccupied scanning the plains around them, what was more, was he wasn’t keeping his distance like he usually was, and his hand was on the hilt of his great-sword. It sent a chill of alarm down her spine. 

“What’s the matter?” Raelynn asked cautiously, letting her own eyes scan the plains, in the twilight light, there was not really anything that she caught, but his demeanor made her worry more.

“We’re being follo--” FWOOP. His deep voice was cut off by an arrow flying right past them. She felt him push her behind him defensively as he turned to the direction it came from. Rae peeked around him, watching a group of about seven move towards them from around a rock formation, one of them with a new arrow straightened towards them.

“Looks like we found the rabid dog we were tracking.” The man in the middle called out. Raelynn tried moving to the side, but Vilkas pushed her back again, his arm extended backwards to push her back, the other hand on his sword.

“Back off, right now.” He growled at them.

“About time one of you shows your face.” Another one piped up. “You’re going to pay for what your friends did at Gallows Rock and Lost Knife.”

“I’m not going to say it again. Back. Off.”

“Who’s your friend back there? We haven’t seen her around, a new companion, dog?” The man spat on the ground. The others chuckled. The man with the bow kept his aim however, and only smiled.

“She’s not one of us.” Vilkas hissed back at them. Rae snapped her eyes from the group to Vilkas “So you let her leave.”

“It doesn’t matter. She’s with you, she dies.” The man in the middle stepped forth. Vilkas took a step back pushing Rae to take a step back as well. She looked at him and he was glancing at her from the corner of his eye momentarily as the continued to step back, when her attention went to him, he switched his eyes back to the advancing group. They weren't charging just yet...and there was enough space between them that.... 

“Can you get the man with the bow?” He muttered swiftly, his eyes not moving from the group that was moving towards them.

“I...think so” Raelynn replied glancing up at him. He seemed focus. “But there’s still the others…”

“You let me worry about them.” He replied quietly. “Get the archer, and then I want you to run to the edge of the woods and don't stop. I’ll find you. It’ll be dark soon anyway.”

“What?” Raelynn shook her head at him stepping back with each push he gave, the group was pushing slowly. “No, I can’t just leave you that’s stup--”

“Just do it. Don’t hold back. Our lives depend on it” He growled. “Now.”

Raelynn nodded, her hand dropped from the small of her back where she kept her dagger sheathed. She found her hands together, fingers grazing each other. _Don’t hold back?_ _I’ve been having trouble holding back lately._ The sparks came to her hands without much trouble, her fingertips tingled and she focused the lightning in between her hands it crackled, and it stung in places, but Gods, did it feel _good_.

“Get them!” The man yelled and the group charged, the archer pulled his drawstring, but Raelynn sidestepped away from Vilkas and unleashed a singular bolt that hit him straight on, the man convulsed and as the bolt exploded he was thrown back, his bow flew off somewhere in the darkening plains. The Archer’s scream had caught the attention of some of the others, but Vilkas was already meeting their leader with his blade. Raelynn, pulled her hands up, lighting crackling she sent another bolt in the direction of another two, but it wasn’t enough to stop them. Pulling her dagger out, she slid towards the fray, unable to just turn and run. She wasn’t a coward, damn it all! Her dagger was met with a blade from one of the attackers, and he pushed her down easily enough. She rolled to the side, the smell of earth clinging to her clothes, while the blade followed her desperately onto the ground. Turning around, she extended out her hand, and a blast of ice hit the man’s face making him falter back. Raelynn scooted back, and stood up, with her dagger. Why were they all focused on Vilkas? Her fists clenched tightly before she released her fingers above each other. She’d get rid of them _all_. The sparks began to crackle in her hands.

“Sparks! GO!” Vilkas voice cut her thought off, the sparks faded, one of them managed a slice at his arm and the Companion stepped back growling as they edged in on him. She blasted at one, knocking him back but the man got up again, scrambling quickly to not lose formation. There were too many, but she couldn't leave. “Get. Out. Of Here.” Vilkas roared out painfully, the Companion stepped back, he looked disheveled and she wasn’t too sure whether the blood on his armor was his or theirs. She wasn’t going to leave him. He was stupid to think that she would turn away.

It was then she noticed it. The attackers weren’t closing in fast anymore, they were stepping cautiously. Vilkas was convulsing, and a dark aura seemed to be coming from him. Something in her gut dropped, his armor began to rip apart like it was made out of linen instead of steel, and he was growing in size. His limbs getting longer, and his words were turning into incoherent growls, while the dark of his hair was not just on his head. One of the attackers moved in with his sword but a swipe from the claw that should have been the man’s hand he was sent across the plain. The others charged in quickly. The beast before Rae howled viciously and jumped towards them, gnashing and tearing flesh with both his maw and his claws, while the attackers screamed and yelped, thrown to and fro. One of them tried to crawl away, but the beast was upon him, tearing at his neck like a rabid wolf and then howling towards the sky as he continued to tear apart what was left of the attackers.

Raelynn’s breath stopped at the howl. Her heart quickened and she stepped back, her hands forgotten at her side, and the thought of her dagger eliciting a nervous inner laugh. _What is that little knife going to do anyway?_   She stepped back carefully again, the little light from the sunset was completely gone now, and the darkness had enveloped her. Maybe if she didn’t move, he wouldn’t notice her. He howled again, it’s nose catching something in the air. Rae stepped back carefully again. The woods were near, if she got to them, perhaps she could hide? Climb a tree, shock him if it tried to get her? It was the best plan she could think of. She was on her own. No patrols out here. The beast turned to her catching her slight movement, it hissed vehemently turning towards her, it's red eyes settled upon her blues for a brief moment before it growled viciously, and started towards her. It was then that Raelynn’s lungs decided to work again, bringing in quick, short breaths as she turned to run, but the Beast had jumped, and was already on the other side of her, close enough that she could see the face of a wolf, it’s ebony fur wet with blood, its red eyes glaring straight into hers as it roared down into her face, one of it’s claws on its way to rip said face. Raelynn moved her hands up, discharging the energy of a lightning bolt she had been saving for the group into the thing’s face. It yelped, howling back, its claws gripped its face desperately, while Rae sidestepped it and took off towards the woods.

Her lungs burned harshly, she heard it behind her, howling and running. It was going to catch up with her soon. No, she couldn’t let it. The run to the treeline had seemed so close, but now it seemed like an eternity. When she reached those first few pines, her heart almost gave way, ducking under the branches and ripping through the woods. She heard it behind her, breaking the branches. Raelynn pulled herself around a big tree and stopped, she tried to even out her breathing and looked down at her hands. Her dagger came to mind again but that only made her feel more helpless. She ripped away the burned bandages on her hands and rubbed her palms painfully while trying to listen. It was looking for her. She could hear it sniffling and breaking twigs. Cursing under her breath, Raelynn, swallowed. She made a mental note to try to learn a courage spell in the future but she wasn’t too sure if that would even be enough. _If, there even is a future. This is going to suck._ She muttered a few things under her breath, and let her hands raise aim at the ground a distance from her. Runes began to raise, and glow on the ground. She stopped trying to listen and curled her fingers again. 

Something hit the tree behind her. She felt the vibration of the thing’s claws scratching away. She had to move. _Quickly. Quietly._ No, he would know. It was too dark to see ahead of her, and she was sure he probably could see very well. Pulling up her palm a small spike of ice started to form quietly. It was a gamble sure, but...She released it away, and it landed square on a tree some distance away over the rune she had placed. The beast, sniffled, and howled, and she heard it move towards there. Relieved, she pulled away in the opposite direction and started to run again, a knot deep in her throat as she heard the howl of pain and the crash of electricity from her rune. Branches and thickets scratched at her, but she pushed past them. She couldn’t hear him, very much, but she couldn’t be sure, because the sound of her own heartbeat was in her ears.

Something hit her shin, a log, and she yelped as she went tumbling downwards, but Rae got up, quickly stumbling forwards, she dared a glance back and saw a shadow moving towards her, she caught herself on a tree, feeling the pain shoot into her leg. She had been stupid, and now she was going to die, probably. _What a stupid way to die..._ She moved, around the tree, but the shadow had gained on her, it grabbed at her and she screamed pulling up her hands. The spark seemed to hurt it more this time but it didn’t let go and instead she was being shaken and pulled towards it. She screamed and hissed and tried to kick but her hands were being held tightly. Rae pulled back, hoping at least one of her hands could get free so she could give it a face full of fire, but the pull of the momentum threw her off balance her legs giving way and both her her attacker went tumbling down a small hill of forest floor landing at the bottom with a small ‘oomf.’

“Sparks!” The thick voice called out, just as she started to regain herself and roll off of him but He was still holding on to her hands and he kept her in place atop him. Just in case. They started to spark again, just as she looked at him squinting and confused “Stop it! It’s me!”

The sparks disappeared but her breathing didn’t even out. She sat on him swallowing hard, even in the timid light of the moon he could see the tears rimmed around her eyes.

“Vilkas?” Her voice cracked. “I...You…” She stuttered out, he could observe her trembling, so he let go of her hands. Her eyes met his momentarily as though wondering if it was really him, and not the monster, he felt her trembling warm hands lean on the bare skin of his chest to try to pick herself up, and then her expression changed completely at a sudden realization of where she was sitting and that his armor had not survived the ordeal. Raelynn pulled herself off of him quickly and away onto the humid forest floor. She kept her face away, hidden from the moonlight. He sat up and looked down at himself with a sigh. She was trying to steady her breathing. He could sense how shaken she was. 

“I apologize.” He stated looking around for something that he might be able to use to cover up. There wasn’t really anything here, but she had already thrown her robe at him. He dared a glance at her to find her in a simple loose white undershirt and tight black trousers. He didn't know mages wore more clothes under their...That wasn't important right now.  “Thank you.” He stated quietly and tried to pull the robe over his head. It was too small for him, so he pulled it off, and instead wrapped it around his waist. “I will replace this.” He noted, seeing the soft cloth of her robe get stained with the blood that was left on his skin. 

“It’s fine.” She said poking a glance at him. He could see the questions swimming in her eyes, and he sighed looking around the clearing.

“I wasn’t...I didn’t mean to...” He tied up his makeshift cloth as best he could. 

“We should get back.” Raelynn stood up patting away her trousers. Without her robes, she seemed different, somehow less scholarly. She was fixing her belt back on, adjusting the sheath of her dagger onto the small of her back, and then pulling on her knapsack. Why wasn’t she asking him anything? She started to limp up the hill.

“Sparks…” Vilkas called out following after her quickly, She turned on him quickly too, almost defensively. He stopped and they stared at one another. "It’s a curse--

“Please,” She said stepping away from him even with her limp. “Just stay away from me….”

~

Kodlak found Rae sitting the far corner of her bunk. The mage sat bow-legged, busily re-wrapping her hands. The contents of her knapsack were spilled across half the of the bed, amongst which some were books, some were vials and a few ingredients, mostly flowers. One of the books lay open and he noticed she had stuck some of the flowers to the pages, each with a paragraph, perhaps a description.

Of course, Vilkas had told him what had happened, and though Kodlak had advised him to speak to the girl, the man could be as stubborn as his twin sometimes, albeit fiercer and had refused.

“Raelynn,” Kodlak spoke softly nearing her bed. The mage looked up. The sleeping quarters were empty at this time of the evening as most of the companions were upstairs picking fights with each other or drinking. In the almost week she had been staying with them, Kodlak had noticed the mage-girl did not mind a drink occasionally and she made friendly chatter with Ria and Noelle when they were around, but otherwise kept to herself, reading books she carried in her backpack.

“Kodlak” Rae peered at him, moving to stand up, but he waved her down, and instead moved one of her closed books to take a seat at the edge of her bed.

“I’ve come to see how you were doing.” He started.

“I’m doing fine.” Raelynn replied, though her eyes did not leave her hands. The Harbinger sighed deeply. She was pulling the bandages tightly on one end with a bit of difficulty. He moved to help her, noticing her slight flinch but she didn’t move away. He started re-wrapping.

“I know you’ve been allowed some secrets.” He started finally. He heard her suck in a breath.

“You’re all….werewolves?” She asked quickly.

“Not all of us. Only the circle share the blood of the beast. Some take to it more than others. For others, it’s...hard to control”

“You?”

“Yes, girl.” He nodded motioning for her to hand him her other hand.  “But I grow old. My mind turns towards the horizon to Sovngarde. I crave that fellowship more than the hunting grounds of Hircine. It is a matter that I had wished to discuss with you, I thought perhaps, you could help me with a theory I have. It has been hard for me to decipher all the contradicting knowledge I’ve gathered over the years.”

“You want to find a cure?” Raelynn blinked at him and winched a little as he tightened her bandages. “Is that why you let me stay here? Under the pretense of joining you?”

“Partially.” He grimaced at her and shook his head. “When your brother arrived, he did not have a septim to his name, so he came to Jorrvaskr looking for work and quickly became one of our closest members. Though that did not come with repercussions.”

“My brother…?” Raelynn began carefully eyes widening at Kodlak. “Is he….?”

“Yes, girl, He is part of the circle.” Kodlak accepted, tying a final knot in Raelynn’s hand. “It was not my choice, Aela and Skjor gave him the option. He took it. It was during his transformation into the beast blood that they wiped out some of the Silver Hand.”

“The silver hand? Those are the people that attacked us?”

“Yes.” Kodlak admitted. “They’re werewolves hunters. They’ve tried to attack us before, unfortunately, your brother and Aela’s actions to avenge Skjor’s fall during that night have fueled their hatred towards the Companions. They grow bolder.”

“Is that why you wanted me to stay in Jorravskr?”

“That’s the other part, yes.” Kodlak admitted. “They will seek any way to hurt us, especially Gael who has caused them so much grief. If they found out of you…”

“And that is why you assigned...that man, to watch me?” Raelynn scrunched her face at him. The older man nodded.

“Regardless, you are still one of us.” He looked up at her.

“It doesn’t seem that way to me.” Raelynn shook her head. “A mage in the Companions? Ha. Should have known, right? It doesn’t matter anyway, Kodlak, you know I’m only here for Gael, and once he arrives, I shall take my leave if it’s for the best. So I thank you for allowing me to stay under that pretense that I’m one of you...”

“You are. I don’t lie.” Kodlak stated softly yet sternly. A soft silence blanketed them and Kodlak patted Raelynn’s hand. “Raelynn, do you have nightmares often?”

“Yes….I think I do.” Raelynn swallowed tightly. The question would have seemed out of left field to anyone else. Instead she fixed her blue eyes on his soft grey eye. Unlike most of the companions, Kodlak had a softness about him, perhaps it was his age, perhaps it was just the way he was, but it did not diminish the fierceness of the warrior he was, nor the respect his presence demanded.  

“Ria and Athis say they’ve heard you whimpering and mumbling in your sleep.” He started. “And Vilkas told me a couple days ago, that you mentioned having dreams…”

Raelynn shifted her eyes away.

“Yes. But I can’t remember most of the time” She bit her lip.

“Raelynn, when you first came to us, you seemed...troubled.” He paused. “When I first spoke to you about your brother, I told you he had confided in me that he had a feeling you were going to show up.”

“Yes.”

“He was having strange dreams of you.” Kodlak stated. Raelynn shifted and put down her legs, so they hung over the bed. Her left leg still felt the sprain of yesterday’s sprint through the forest but she ignored it. “Were you…?”

“Yes.” Raelynn accepted. “I didn’t want to say anything because even now, acting on just that would make it sound like I’ve gone mad. That’s not a good image for a mage to have.” She muttered out. “But...I don’t know what else to say, other than one moment I’m stressing over scrolls, and the next I’m stealing a horse and on my way to Helgen. Some of them I can remember, they’re like memories, like I”m seeing things Gael has seen. And then other times….” She scrunched her nose and shook her head, then reached for her temples. “Other times, I can’t remember, no matter how hard I try. And my head hurts just thinking about it.”

Kodlak looked at her for a moment and finally nodded.

“I’m not crazy....I swear. I’m just worried.” Rae excused. “My brother was the only friend I had growing up. When he left for the war, I had to try to find a way to keep myself occupied. So I went to Winterhold. I haven’t seen him or our family since then. Then suddenly…I have those dreams, and no matter how much I try, I can’t help to shake this feeling that I’m missing something...that he’s in danger. And that…” She paused and focused on her next words. “I’m the only one that can stop... _it_. It sounds mad...have I gone mad?”  Her voice cracked, and Kodlak watched a few tears stream down her face suddenly.

“Nonsense.” Kodlak shook his head at her, and reached for her, he pulled her in and hugged her tightly. “You are just looking out for family. He is our family, and now you are as well.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cry...I just want him to come back already so I can just see him. Make sure he’s alright and that all of this is just in my head...and then yesterday was all sudden” Raelynn cried softly. He patted her head, and shushed her, until she sniffled down and pulled away. The Harbinger looked at her with kindness, something she hadn’t seen in a long time. He smiled at her and nodded. She wiped at her eyes and though they were red, she seemed rather relieved. He had not looked upon her grudgingly.

“I’m sure he will return here soon enough.” Kodlak nodded.

“I...Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, youngling.” He straightened her hair and pulled away. She wiped at her face again. Kodlak stood and looked down at her. “Will you be alright?”

“Yes….” She stated standing up. “Kodlak…?”

“Hm?”

“About the cure, have you found anything yet?”

“I think I have. In fact, your brother is helping me with it. That is part of his current assignment. That is why I’m sure he will return.” Kodlak smiled softly. “You try to get some rest ok? Once he returns, I would ask of you only that you help me decipher the rest of the cure. I trust in you both equally, but though you may have the same eyes, I get the impression that you both have very different talents.”

Raelynn smiled. The Harbinger moved to leave, but Noelle, one of the Companions, a pretty but stern looking nord lady stood at the door looking excited.

“Harbinger, Farkas has returned. He’s waiting for you...”

Raelynn perked up, as did Kodlak.

“What about the Dragonborn?” He asked, Noelle shook her head.

“Farkas returned alone.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!!! Haha, I kinda liked writing this chapter. Hopefully, it will be enjoyed as much.  
> I'm trying to update more regularly. Thinking I might start trying to do it every weekend since the weekends are best for me due to non-RL stuff.  
> Hope you Enjoyed! :)
> 
> Also shout out to Kakumei16 and her lovely Noelle making a smol cameo here <3


	11. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Dream. Another Nightmare.

Farkas was taller and brawnier than his brother, his face was framed by a gruffier beard and his eyes were splashed with darker, messier warpaint than his brother, his voice was deeper and rougher, yet albeit his imposing build, and much like Kodlak he was less intimidating than any of the other companions. He was waiting patiently in Kodlak’s study when the Harbinger entered followed by Rae. 

Kodlak motioned for him to sit, which the companion did right away, Raelynn leaned against one of the tables near them and listened to what Farkas had to say while wringing at the hem of her shirt. 

“...after we got to the bottom of the crypt, what we were looking for wasn’t there. Someone stole it and left a note to come to Riverwood. So that’s where we went.” Farkas explained glancing at the mage girl, who stared back at him steadily. “He sent me back here. Said he had some urgent business to attend to. Dragonborn business. And then he left with the inn-keeper” 

“Did he tell you where he was going?” Kodlak asked

“No.” Farkas replied politely. 

“I guess I better get to Riverwood” Raelynn pushed off immediately. 

“He’s not there anymore.” Farkas interjected looking at her. “He and the Inn-keeper left almost immediately. On horseback.” 

“Then I have to go  _ now _ , maybe I can still catch up to him?”

“Raelynn, please don’t be so brash” Kodlak called “Did he say if he was going to return?” 

“Yes. He said he had your  _ items _ and that he would deliver them as soon as he finished his business with the innkeeper. I offered to bring the items but he said he had told you he would bring them personally himself.”

“Then he did visit the Glenmoril cave.” Kodlak muttered to himself, Farkas didn’t answer, probably because the mutter was so low but Raelynn did, and she scrunched up her nose. Glenmoril cave? “Very well.” Kodlak finally frowned “We can be patient, can we not, Raelynn?”  

Raelynn’s hand twisted into a small fist she released as soon as her blisters began to burn. She sighed in defeat. She wanted to say no, and run off, but if Gael gave his word he would come back here, then he would. Gael was always an honorable little scout, always upstanding, always urging her to do things right. 

“Yes. I suppose we can” Rae finally replied in utter defeat. 

“So you’re the magical little sister?” Farkas’ suddenly smiled at her. Raelynn felt unsure. “I thought you looked like the Dragonborn a lot. I’m Farkas” 

“Magical little….?” Raelynn scrunched her nose and tilted her head at the man. He laughed. “Raelynn...it’s Raelynn, But you can call me Rae.” 

“Rae. I like that better than Lynn” Farkas nodded honestly. Raelynn sucked in a breath. She hadn’t heard that nickname in a long while. So it really was Gael, what was she hoping for? That it wasn’t her brother who was the famed Dragonborn?  Something in her gut sank. She shook her head. “He talked some about you. Said if we were by Winterhold we should check on you. Seemed worried.” 

“He’s alright though?” Raelynn questioned. 

“Yeah.” Farkas replied simply and turned back to Kodlak. “Anyhow, Kodlak, that was the message I had for you. How have things been here? Anything I can help with?” 

“The Silver Hand grows bolder, they attacked your brother and Raelynn here, but we will deal with that later. You should get some rest now, surely, you must be tired?” 

“Yeah. I’d like some food and drink.” Farkas nodded, moving towards the door. “Thank you, Kodlak” 

“I have to go find him. I can’t just sit here and wait.”  Rae sighed after Farkas left and finally looked up at Kodlak after a moment of staring at her own hands grabbing at her shirt.

“There’s no point in you leaving right this instant. Firstly, you are in no shape right now, I know little of wizards and mages, but it seems your hands will need rest after the abuse they went through yesterday.” He pointed at her bandages. “If you would like to leave tomorrow morning, I won’t stop you Raelynn, but I don’t think it wise for you to leave this instant. Get some dinner and rest. And consider waiting here with the rest of us.”  

“I…I...You’re right.” Raelynn sighed and shook her head. “I’m not hungry, but I think I will get some rest. Thank you Kodlak.” Raelynn nodded and stood up. She shuffled towards the doorway, and opened it, just as Vilkas was reaching for it. The man pulled his hand back immediately and she stepped back instinctively. There eyes met for a split second but they both looked away immediately. 

“Excuse me.” He said quietly, stepping to the side. She eyed him carefully, quickly, moving her eyes and herself away from him as quickly as she could. She glanced back at Kodlak one last time before retiring to  her claimed bed in the sleeping quarters. 

~ 

_ “You’ve been busy lately, haven’t you?” The man in the blue robes noted. Raelynn focused trying to center away the dizzying feeling in her head. He was the cause of it, this much she understood. Tonight, however, she didn’t feel she had the energy to try to ward him off. Instead she stared at him approaching her, trying to take in and remember every detail she could of him, down to the sway of his tattered blue robes, the details and curves of his golden mask.  _

_ “You must be tired. You’re not questioning me.” He noted pleasantly. She let out a tired breath.  _

_ “I’ve had a rough couple of days yes. But wouldn’t you know that already?”  _

_ “Some of it. What you allow me to see.” He admitted reaching out a hand, Raelynn stared down at it suspiciously and didn’t untuck her hands from under her arms. His gloved fingers motioned for her again. “I’m glad to see your fighting spirit is intact.” _

_ “Can we not do this tonight?” Raelynn sighed. “I am tired, I can’t sleep properly with you plaguing my dreams...nightmares...” Raelynn replied moving her eyes away from him. It was futile. She handed him a trembling timid hand and he met her halfway bringing her hand into his gentler than she could’ve guessed. His glove was gruff but cool against her palm, and his other hand cupped hers, his fingers pulling away at the bandages. She flinched but felt no pain, even though her palm was still red and blistered. The eyeholes in his mask seemed focus on her hands. It had been a long while since she last saw this...person...thing...The First. Yes. She remembered that. Though it seemed so long ago. Time wore differently here, Rae felt.  “I know. It must take an exorbitant amount of energy to summon me. I am still in wonder that you even can”  _

_ “I’m not doing it on purpose. I don’t like you.” Raelynn replied looking around at the emptiness that surrounded them tonight.  _

_ “Ever so honest. But I don’t believe you are doing this on purpose, either.” The First shrugged grazing her palm with his gloved fingers, a soft golden glow left the tips of his fingers and the redness disappeared almost instantly as his fingers passed. He did not look up at her. “It’s an interesting side effect, I suppose. My spell always works one way, but it seems to have...linked our  _ _ subconsciouses _ _ more than I anticipated. I’ve read of such things happening. I just didn’t think it would be possible with a mere mortal”  _

_ He finished with one hand and motioned for her to give him her other hand. Raelynn retrieved her hand and looked down at it, it was clean. She reached the other, still bandaged hand towards him. He took it in his hands gently and started to do the same as with the other one.  _

_ “So you...remember any of this when you’re awake?” Raelynn tried. He didn’t speak for a moment, while his fingers pulled away at her bandages. It was a completely odd sensation, one she could feel but not feel at the same time.  _

_ “Barely” He replied. “Some things, I know of you, I know of  memories that aren’t mine. Shadows of sensations. Things you tell me without speaking. You always say too much. Your questioning eyes. Mostly.” His voice replied casually, he seemed rather focused on her hands, Rae shifted in place and his mask looked up, the black eye holes staring through her. She felt her face get hot. “I know of you, because you are my subordinate to control, however, I do dislike that you’re able to summon me here. I do not understand how this is coming to pass. It is frustrating” _

_ “I’ve already told you, I don’t do it on purpose.” Raelynn snapped back pulling her hand away from him. She shook her head. She had to refocus. She looked down at her hands and then at him. He had dropped his hands to his side, but his mask was peering at her coldly in comparison to just a moment ago. “I hate this.”  _

_ “And yet, here I am, and there you are.” He noted mechanically. “Regardless Raelynn, I would advise you against using spells that are above your skill too much. There is only so much I can do for your hands in this state.”  _

_ “Why do you even--” _

_ “A dull blade is worthless to me.” He replied quickly, cutting her off. “So I must care for you. As best I can. And you must fulfill your duty to me. I’ve told you before, I do not care to harm you so long as you do as you’re told. This doesn’t have to be difficult.”  _

_ “I’d rather you let me go.” Raelynn replied warily. _

_ “You should probably rest.” He nodded. “When you awake, I ask that you remember this...Blue Mountain flower,  butterfly wings, and wheat. For your hands.”  _

_ “I’ll probably forget.” Rae shot him a questioning look. “Unlike you, I don't remember anything.”  _

_ “You won’t forget that because I’m asking you not to forget that.” He stated staying in place, it was Rae that stepped towards him this time. She moved carefully, her hand reaching for his mask but he stopped her with his gloved hand. “No.” _

_ “Tell me who you really are,” Raelynn started _

_ “It doesn’t work that way, Raelynn” He replied, letting her hand go, she grazed his glove with her fingers, pinching the index finger of his glove and pulling it with her. He pulled back instinctively and his hand was freed from the glove.  _

_ “You’re just a man aren’t you?” Rae pushed _

_ “I’m much more than that. You cannot understand.” He replied moving his palm out and asking for his glove back. Raelynn bit her lip, she moved to return the glove, but let her hand push into his hand. It wasn’t cold, it was warm, she wasn’t sure why she thought it would be freezing. His fingers curled over both her hand and his glove for more than a moment. Raelynn’s eyes widened, blue whispers blew through her head, and she felt faint, a whole lifetime of despair and anger pushed through her all at once. The whispers were shouting at her. Their words were nonsensical but she could feel every bit of them. She swallowed back the knot in her throat and felt it settle in her chest.  She looked up at him searching his mask for something she knew she couldn’t find, in the same second he snatched his glove back from her sensing the change in her widened eyes.  _

_ “You’re trapped…” She finally breathed out, squinting at him. “You need help…”  _

_ “What have you ...? ” He cut her shortly, and turned away from her, he began to walk briskly away from her but she followed. “I know not what you speak of.” _

_ “You’re all alone like m-- _

_ “Do not speak further!” He demanded loudly, turning on his heel with his hand facing up. Rae reached for her throat, her sentences were stuck in her throat, she felt as though her air had been cut off, and felt light and faint. “I know not what kind of trickery you’re attempting but you know nothing of me, Mage-Girl.”  _

_ “No. I don’t know who you are. But I know of you. What you’ve shown me...” She managed out painfully. He pulled away and she could breathe again. His rage had subsided slightly. She felt the air change again. She needed to push him “You are…”  _

_ “You wear my patience thin...” He let out a breathed ‘ha’ “Mal mey. Get some rest, Raelynn. Our time is up.” He looked away from her towards the dark black starless sky.  _

_ “No. You’re...You’re...” Raelynn shook her head at him, the darkness around them was getting fuzzy, she couldn’t focus. She thought she blinked but everything was gone, and she was soundly asleep.  _

_ ~ _

Arcadia had everything Raelynn needed. The wheat and the butterfly wings anyhow, because Rae had stuffed her bag full of flowers the day they were attacked. She didn’t want to think about that night. Nearly getting mauled to death by a towering beast like that was not something you remember fondly. Thankfully, her sleep the night before had been restful, though this morning she woke up with an uneasy feeling and a sudden urge to visit Arcadia’s alchemist shop. Thankfully however, it seemed Farkas was the one assigned to watch her now, instead of Vilkas. Arcadia herself seemed glad to see her return, and even joked that the young mage might be an aspiring alchemist. 

Unlike his brother, Farkas was more amicable, and leaned next to the wall, watching Raelynn mush her ingredients in the mortar with complete curiosity. 

“I thought you were a mage not an alchemist…?” Farkas inquired tilting his head. “What’re you making?”

“I’m not an alchemist. I’ve read a couple interesting books, and I’ve learned the basics but I know next to nothing.” She replied and bit her tongue as she focused with her work. “I...I’m not sure. I just...had this recipe in my head when I woke up. I think it’ll help my burns. Arcadia says it will, but it will sting.”  

“Do all mages get burns on their hands?” 

“No. Well...sort of I guess.” Raelynn replied. “Think of it...like uuuhmm…” She grimaced pushing the mush together in the mortar once more. “Like blisters, when you’ve held your blade too long. It’s similar to overusing your magic.” 

“I see.” The man replied. “Do you want help crushing that?” 

Raelynn stopped momentarily and looked up at the companion, her face broke into an unbelieving smile and then half a laugh. 

“My hands are better this morning...but I mean...if you want to?” 

“I don’t mind crushing things.” He replied, as she moved away from the table so he could take over “Like this?” he asked and began using the pestle. 

“Yes. Not too harshly, we’re just making a paste.” Raelynn instructed standing by. 

“You know, after this we should go to the Tavern for a drink and something to eat. I’m starving. Have you had Honningbrew Mead yet?” Farkas asked looking over at her. Raelynn smiled and nodded. 

“Yes. I think? I’d like that. I’m hungry too. that sounds good.” 

“They have good honey treats too” He added looking down and then pulling up the mortar to show her.

“Yes. Then let’s go get some after this.” Raelynn laughed  taking the mortar and checking the boiling solution. “You know...Not to be mean, but I like you better than your brother. You’re nicer.” Raelynn laughed

“Really? He talks better than I do. Most people just talk to my fists.” Farkas replied taking his post at the side of the alchemy table again but this time, he was watching what she was doing. 

“Just because you’re well-spoken doesn’t mean that you’re nice.” Raelynn replied. 

“Ha. Well. I like you better than  _ your _ brother. So we’re even.” He replied.

“Oh?” 

“Your brother is a fine warrior, but it’s hard to keep up with him.” 

“Hmm tell me about it” Raelynn paused finishing up with the vial. “I should know, I grew up with him...” 

Farkas watched her finish up, then they both bid Arcadia a good day, and walked over to the Bannered Mare in lighter spirits for a quick lunch. If she had been one for first impressions she would have guessed the gruffier brother to be more intimidating and yet, the same kindness that she felt from Kodlak seemed to emanate from Farkas. It made her almost forget their terrible secret. 

Rae’s thoughts floated back to Kodlak. He wanted a cure, that much he had made clear. She was sure from what she had seen around Jorrvaskr that not everyone would welcome the news, that was their problem, though. If the old man wanted to go to Sovngarde when he passed, then he should. Then there was the matter of Gael. He was a werewolf supposedly now. What if he too needed a cure? She had to help them both. She couldn’t picture her brother, straightlaced as he was giving in to being a beast like that. It was only the right thing to do. 

“Rae?” Farkas was looking at her with a cocked eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry I got lost in thought,” She said picking her chin up away from her hand on the table. “I have to go see Farengar.” She said standing up. Farkas stood too immediately. Rae waved him down. “I’d like to go alone.” 

“You know…” 

“Yes. I know.” Raelynn replied. “But I doubt that  _ those people _ will be at  _ Dragonsreach _ .” 

“I guess but….but…” 

“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to ask him a couple boring mage questions anyway...and see if he’s got an extra set of robes.  I feel odd walking around in plain clothes” Raelynn replied motioning to her clothes. She had slightly regretted giving her set of robes to Vilkas but what was she supposed to do? Besides, she was pretty damned sure at this point she was probably expelled. “Relax. I’ll be at Dragonsreach and then I’ll come straight back to Jorrvaskr. I promise.” Rae smiled coyly. Farkas peered at her and his shoulders slumped. 

“Fine. But you gotta come back to Jorrvaskr straight away. Nowhere else. You have to promise.”

“I promise.” Raelynn flashed a small smile. The Companion pulled up his mead tankard and took a long sip, when he put the tankard down, she was gone.

Farengar didn’t have much to offer on the subject of werewolves. He lacked the books that Urag probably could have provided Rae. He did however, have a lot to say about his research into the Dragons, and Raelynn could do little to stop him from speaking on the subject, so that when the chance finally arose she excused herself, forgetting to ask if he had any robes for sale. 

Her return to Jorrvaskr didn’t happen until after sundown, and she thought about getting dinner at the Mare again since those honey treats Farkas had introduced her to were simply delightful, however, a promise was a promise, and she trudged back to Jorrvaskr feeling defeated. She was only supposed to be in the market for supplies so she could leave Whiterun anyway, and that didn’t happen though because Farengar couldn’t shut up about Dragons. Tomorrow, there would be nothing to stop her. She still felt worn out anyway. Besides, if Gael was to return then perhaps Kodlak was right, she could wait here for him and try to help figure out how to cure Kodlak...She could do that. 

Raelynn pushed in the door to the mead hall hearing the bustle coming from the patio outside. Even this late, someone was fighting someone else and the others were cheering. The scent of food was enticing her to go out there for a peek, but she forced herself down the stairs instead, opting for an apple from a fruit dish on one of the many tables. 

Thankfully, the living quarters were quieter, the hallway emptier. She turned the corner towards the sleeping quarters, sidestepping almost immediately but a little too late. Raelynn went face first into something hard and stumbled back, though Vilkas grabbed her arm and steadied her on her feet before she fell. His icy blues met her deep ocean eyes and he swallowed, letting her go quickly and moving a couple steps back. Raelynn scrunched her nose at the faint scent of ale from him. Though honestly, it could have been her own gasp at the sudden interaction. 

“I’m sorry.” He said curtly, while she blinked at him blankly and moved back away from him instinctively. His eyes were icy blue, but she still couldn’t shake away the blood red color that had stared at her the other night, with nothing but murderous hunger in them. 

“It’s my fault, I didn’t notice you in the doorway. Excuse me.” She replied politely and moving around him, stepped into the room towards her bed. He stood there another moment, as though he wanted to say something to her but he couldn’t decide how to say it. So he stood there watching her move towards her bed.

“You really shouldn’t have left Farkas’ sight.” He finally piped up. 

“I’m not a child.” Raelynn replied 

“Well you act like one.” Vilkas’ shot back. She turned to him with a glare, but he stood his ground. “I hoped that you would understand the gravity of the situation after what happened but instead you--

“You mean after you almost mauled me to death?” Raelynn huffed out. 

“I was not going to…If you had listened to me and ran when I told you to….” He trailed off unsure, and he shook his head. “I don’t know what happened. I can usually control it...but when I caught your scent, the blood just...reacted. Badly. I...I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”  

“So it’s my fault that you tried to kill me? That didn’t seem like control to me. And you did more than just scare me...” Raelynn replied turning away from him crossing her arms. Her eyes landed on a small neat package bound in twine sitting on her bed.

“What’s this?” She furrowed her eyebrows and moved to undo the twine. Soft, rich, dark blue fabric spilled out of the package, Raelynn pulled up the hooded cloak. A small robe fell away in the same color but with grey accents that seemed to glow slightly at her touch. Enchantments? She looked at the man standing at the doorway with crossed arms. 

“It’s a replacement.” He spat out as nonchalantly as he could. “For your robe. It’s not exactly the same but it should...help.” 

“I told you it didn’t matter. I have replacements back…”  _ Home?  _ “At the college.” 

“Yes, but I told you I would replace it, didn’t I?” He countered. “I am a man of my word. If you don’t like it then you can sell it or give it away. I don’t care. Do as you wish. I have nothing further to say to you.” He turned to leave. 

“You know what? An apology would have been enough...” Her hands gripped harshly at the soft fabric, she picked up the package with the other pieces and strode over to him she pushed them into his chest. “You can take this back.” 

“Stop being a child,” He growled pushing the package back into her arms. She pushed it back at him so he pulled it away from her and put it on the drawer chest next to the doorway. “Do what you will with it. I’ve already said my peace.” He turned to leave.

“You’re an insufferable man” Raelynn huffed out, Vilkas stopped and turned back glaring at her. 

“And you’re a foolish little mage-girl, who’s in way over her head...” He sneered back at her. “You should have returned to Winterhold a long time ago, instead of pretending you’re here to help when all you do is cause trouble for everyone” Her hand went flying towards his face but he caught her forearm and pulled it away, his eyes flashing at her, Raelynn froze but didn’t look away from him. 

“Why are you still here?” His voice was significantly lower. She felt herself being pulled towards him, her heart accelerated. 

“Let me go and I’ll leave right this instant.” She breathed out without breaking eye contact. He said nothing, but kept searching her eyes with his own, his face inched in closer to hers. Raelynn could feel her heart beating hard against her chest. He stopped suddenly, and his eyes moved away from hers. Vilkas perked up suddenly, turning away from her and pushing her back behind him, much like the day they were attacked.

“What are you--?”  A loud crash came from down the hallway followed by yelling and the sound of glasses and things being thrown about. 

“We’re under attack.” He growled, he reached for a longsword that was neatly displayed on the wall, and turned to her. “Can you fight?” 

“Of course I can.” Raelynn nodded reaching for the dagger on her belt, he reached for her hand and pulled her towards him. 

“Stay close.” He instructed and nodded before starting out towards the hallway, Rae followed after him pulling her hand away from his. The hallway was crowded, Athis and Ria were at the other end fighting off some of the attackers but more than a few had made it past them and were rushing towards them. Vilkas met the first with his sword, while Raelynn shocked the second to the ground and met the third with her dagger, the attacker pushed off and she sent a spray of frost after him. Rae hopped over him and jumped on another, while Vilkas followed skewering the iced man on the floor. 

“Vilkas! Magic Sis!” Ria beamed and then looked past him to Raelynn with the same smile. “The Silver Hand just showed up out of nowhere.” 

“Where’s Kodlak and the others?” Vilkas asked

“Upstairs with the bulk of the intruders.” Athis replied slitting one of the intruder’s throats with his dagger. He swiped it clean and looked to Vilkas. “Get up there. We’ll finish cleaning up here.” 

“You should stay here with them” Vilkas turned to Raelynn but she shook her head.

“No.” Raelynn replied with a hiss, she pushed past him before he could protest and started up the stairs in a hurry. 

“Sparks!” Vilkas called running after her. 

Rae pushed the doors at the top of the stairs out, almost immediately dodging away as an incoming blade swiped at her catching her arm. She hissed and pushed out her hand a quick bolt of lightning threw the intruder back. Vilkas pushed past her blade out, he charged forward towards one of them. Farkas was on the far end fighting two of them off, and Kodlak stood near the middle of the hall blade out circling away, as a taller, younger barrel chested man in steel armor circled in on him. The tall man brought down his great-sword and Kodlak stepped back barely missing it, but getting in a jab with his sword.  He looked worn, as though he was having trouble breathing, and one of his hands was at his side. That couldn't be good. At this point it looked more like the burly man was toying with the elder Companion. 

“Vilkas…!” Raelynn called out. Vilkas pushed his blade away from the attacker he was fending off, Raelynn threw her hand out sending said attacker on his back and barely missing Vilkas. 

“Watch it! Sparks!” Vilkas hissed but Raelynn pointed quickly towards Kodlak. “We need to help him!” She took off running towards them her hand tight against her dagger. A woman tried to intercept her with a blast of fire, the flames licked at Raelynn full on, but they honestly were nothing compared to the scorching J’zargo’s scrolls had given her at the college. 

“Get out of my way!” Rae hissed at the woman who laughed, her hands preparing a new flame spell, another blast from the hands made Raelynn hop back onto a table. Her left hand curling into a tight fist, she felt her skin go cold, as the ice began to form and then she threw out her palm, the ice engulfed the woman’s flames and hit her straight on. The woman staggered backwards into Vilkas’ sword. Raelynn took off again, over the table and towards the old man and the burly attacker. Vilkas tried to follow but two others jumped in front of him. 

“Get to him!” He called out but she wasn’t paying attention. 

“Kodlak move!” She jumped in between quick, just as the man’s sword came down, her dagger barely able to do anything against the force of the blade, she let go of the dagger and jumped back pushing the Harbinger backwards behind her, she stood up shaking her hands, her fingers curling and tingling already. 

“You stupid girl.” The burly man grunted towering over them. His brown eyes looked down at her cruelly, as he retrieved his sword and stepped towards her and Kodlak who was in worse shape this close. The Harbinger stumbled back, and slid down onto the floor. He was bleeding. “Get away from that dying dog.” 

“Take one more step and I will end you.” Raelynn warned turning back to the man.

“And how will you do that without your puny blade?”  The man looked at her for a moment and laughed. He took a step further, and Raelynn’s hands crackled. He stopped mid-step and stared at her with narrow eyes. “You’re  _ the mage girl _ …” 

Rae’s hands lit up blue, lighting sparks covered them in full. The bandages were starting to become singed at parts. The man looked at her carefully and then at her hands, his face contorted and his jaw tightened weighing his options. He charged in. Raelynn lifted her hands together, a crackling mess coming from them she pushed her hands out, the charge hit the charging man, he put up a small ward, but the sparks broke through it crackling up and around his steel armor, he convulsed but kept coming somehow. Raelynn pushed her hands out harder, and the electricity intensified, she felt her knees lock up. The electricity crackled harder, and ended in a blast as she felt the energy leave the tips of her fingers. The blast at the end sent the man back on his stomach on the floor. His sword had been thrown out of his hand, but he staggered up shakily and grinned at her stupidly and rushed towards her.

Rae pushed out her hand, but he caught it, even with the sparks forming, the back of his other hand came hard on her face making the sparks fade away momentarily. 

“I should cut your stupid little hands off for that, you dumb bitch” He snarled at her, as her face returned from the veil of her tussled jet black hair, her other hand reached and scratched a his fist holding her hand tightly. The tingling sensation drawing closer to her fingertips, she tried another lightning spell but very little came compared to what was there before. Not enough energy. Not...enough…She tried again, an ice spell, and it only covered his hand. She kicked at him as he drug her over with him to pick up his sword. 

“Have you no honor?” Kodlak hissed weakly from his place against the wall. “Let the girl go” 

“Unfortunately, you old dog, I don’t have time for that right now. I came here for something else. But, werewolf or not, she helped wipe out some of our people” His grip tightened around her hand and he slammed her into a nearby wall and let her go. The world spun, and she tried to get up, to shake it off but the man’s boot came down on her arm harshly, a snap of acute searing pain tore through Rae’s arm and she screamed reaching for it even as he pushed his boot into her arm further. She squirmed clawing at his boot, her vision a blur. Something or someone pushed the man off. Rae rolled away, grabbing at her arm, but the pain was making her dizzy.  _ Kodlak...Kodlak needed help…. _

There were swords clanking somewhere in the distance, yelling too, but it didn’t matter. Rae crawled to the place where Kodlak had slid to. He looked pale. His gauntlet held the wound on his side. He looked at her with fading eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Young one.” He muttered out. “I couldn’t help.”  

“Kodlak...hang on…” Raelynn shook her head. The tears ripped from her eyes by the pain, his blood seemed to be all around him, and she only noticed it was on her knees too when let go of her limp broken arm to hold the hand that was over his wound. “It’s going to be ok.” 

“One way or another...it will be...” The wise old man said looking down at her hand pulling his hand away from his wound and then at her. He let go, and grabbed at her shoulder. 

“No don’t say that. I can stop the bleeding, but you have to hang on. Don’t say...” She replied, crying, her hand turned golden, and she closed her eyes trying to focus what little she had left. The golden waves of restoration magic left her, pouring in and out of his wound, it closed, but it did so slowly. 

“Save your energy, Raelynn. I know it’s too late.” Kodlak coughed out. Raelynn shook her head. His hand gripped at her shoulder, staining the white of her shirt with more blood. 

“No. No it’s not!” She cried out, pushing her hand harder against his wound. The golden waves intensified, and she looked straight at the old man who was staring at her with the same fond kindness he showed her when she appeared. “It’s not over!” 

“My journal…” He swallowed “I...It was you. Find….Find him...Save...us.” His grip faded from her shoulder. His hand fell, and his stare went blank. 

“No...No! You can’t go. I was supposed to help you” Raelynn yelled through a sob, The gold from her hand intensified into a burst but nothing happened. He didn’t awaken. “Kodlak!” Raelynn cried. The burst of gold faded from her fingertips, and she felt a dizzying sensation accompanied by the searing pain from her arm. She refocused and tried to again but nothing came from her fingertips. 

“Kodlak…..” She sobbed. “Kodlak…” 

A soft silence finally fell around Jorrvaskr. Kodlak was gone.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know how I feel about this chapter....  
> Thank you for reading! :)


	12. Regrets & Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making friends with your inner demons~ yay!

“Raelynn! Raelynn stop!” Vilkas growled, but the water rushing under the steps of Dragonsreach was loud in her ears, like the rage pouring through her. The mage girl, glanced back, with red, swollen eyes, but didn’t heed his words and continued onward. That she was stubborn, this much was made evident in the time she had been at Jorrvaskr. Vilkas stomped after her up the moonlight path to Dragonsreach. The only thing slowing her down was the tension in each step, as her left hand held onto her dangling right forearm tightly.  

The Silver hand had retreated for now. Those that remained anyway. It would be a lie for any of them to take comfort in that fact, the aftermath had left Jorrvaskr broken in spirit. Much more so than when Skjor passed. Nobody wanted to believe it, and nobody wanted to think about it. Kodlak was really gone. When the remaining attackers had been dealt with, and the dust of battle had settled, they had all gathered around his body. Rae hadn’t even moved from his side, where she sobbed her eyes dry into her hand. Afterwards, she had gotten up, and without another word left the hall. Perhaps the right course of action was to stay behind, to grieve over the old man’s body, but Vilkas couldn’t bear to stand it, thinking of what had happened, how they had all failed the old harbinger made him dizzy with anger and regret. He could tell himself all he wanted, that he followed her because the last thing he had promised the old man was that he would make sure to keep the idiot safe until she met her Brother, but in all honesty he had followed her because the look in her eyes reflected the same rage that made his blood boil. He had followed after her because he felt he couldn’t breathe in Jorrvaskr.

They slipped into Dragonsreach quickly, avoiding the main hall as soon as the stairs widened out. She turned to the right and made straight towards Farengar’s office but the door was closed. Without regards for this, Raelynn rapped on it harshly letting go of her broken arm.

“What are you doing?” Vilkas hissed catching up to her “It’s not the time for…?” She didn’t answer him, nor look at him, her stare was firm and on the door in front of her. He trailed off hearing the shuffling from behind the door.

“Open the damn door Farengar!” She hissed loudly, banging on it again.

“What is the meaning of this?” Farengar cracked the door open, but Raelynn pushed her way in, and Vilkas followed.

“I need you to heal me.” Raelynn blurted at the court wizard who was still in his nightgown and looked rather alarmed at the amount of blood on the apprentice’s clothes.  

“What in oblivion is going on?” Farengar squinted widening his eyes.

“My arm is broken.” Raelynn explained readily taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his table. She laid her mangled arm out on the desk. “I’m out of juice, and my level restoration spells will leave me with a long waiting time. I need it healed _now_.”

“Are you mad? How dare you? What’s all this blood on you?” Farengar hissed at her rounding the table “Do you know how late it is? And why do you think it would be any different with my spells? And even if I could, I am the court wizard not some healer for charit-- ”

“I am the Dragonborn’s sister.” Raelynn blurted out.

“What?” Farengar blurted out.

“Gael, your hold’s beloved Thane. The Dragonborn. He’s my brother. Do you really want him to come back to find that you couldn’t help his sister with this?”  Raelynn spat. “Besides, I’m sure you can cast at least an expert level spell. I’m not asking for charity. I will pay you”

“You’re a liar. She’s lying...she’s…? You’re…?” Farengar hissed back and looked down at her arm. He glanced at Vilkas who did not look away “By the Nine! I can’t. It will hurt you too much.” He shook his head again looking at the limp and disformed part of her arm with deep disdain. “It’s too painful, it’s not recommended. You should _know_ this. And if I don’t get it right? What then? Your brother will break all _my bones_!”

“They killed Kodlak!” Raelynn yelled at him, her voice cracked the same way her hand was. Ugly.  “Do it!” Raelynn hissed, her other hand sparked and Farengar’s eyes widened.

“What? This is...I….” Farengar turned to the Companion dumbfounded again, and again he got the confirmation without a word. The wizard looked back to Raelynn and opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words to say anything to the girl in the chair.

“Jorrvaskr was attacked.” Vilkas huffed in finally. “She’s not lying to you.”

“If you won’t do it, then I will. I don’t know why I thought you would help...This was a waste of time...” Raelynn hissed pulling her good hand over her arm.

“You’ll hurt yourself more!” Farengar exclaimed at Raelynn, just as the golden glow began to itch out of her hands. Vilkas snatched her hand away and stared at Farengar harshly. The court wizard sighed.

“Please fix her.” Vilkas huffed “Everything she’s said to you is the truth. She is not a companion. We are safekeeping her until the Thane returns...”

“I knew something was off!” Farengar exclaimed and turned back to Raelynn “I should have the guard escort you out.” Farengar frowned staring at her arm. The wizard’s face contorted into disgust and he reached out feeling her arm. “It’s going to hurt you too much. Are you sure?”

“I’m already in pain.” Raelynn snapped back. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You’re lucky the Jarl’s children are always breaking their bones. I’d like you to know this isn’t going to be pleasant for either of us” He snipped finally, his hand went to her arm, he felt around pushing, he found the fracture and pressed it in. Raelynn yelped out, her eyes teared up but she shook her head away, her other hand gripped at the table digging her nails into it.

“If that hurt, you’re not going to like what comes next. Are you sure you don’t just want to wait--”

“Farengar.” Raelynn hissed at him looking at him. She looked like a rabid animal seething from behind the curtain of black hair. “I’m sure. Get it over with.” She spat at him through gritted teeth. The Court wizard grimaced but nodded.

“Hold still. If you move, it’ll mend incorrectly and I’ll have to re-break your bone.” He swallowed. Rae nodded taking in a deep breathe. Farengar looked at the companion standing by who just watched with glassy eyes. “You should...probably hold her down.”

The Companion moved closer and grabbed Raelynn by the shoulders, keeping her other arm held. Farengar focused, tendrils of gold began to weave from his hand, pushing themselves into Raelynn’s arm. She bit her lip, and growled, but as the tendrils disappeared into her arm, the tears began to flow more freely from her eyes, Raelynn cried out in pain suddenly, her body jerking backwards but Vilkas kept her in place. Farengar’s touch intensified over her arm with the golden tendrils, she growled and snarled. Vilkas could feel her twitching and trembling underneath. The golden tendrils wrapped around and disappeared again and again until a soft glow erupted on her skin and she fell back against the chair breathing harshly. Farengar stepped away, the dislike etched clearly on his face, Vilkas let her go, and stepped back as well, while she moved her hand up and moved it, stretching the fingers and then with her other hand touching the place that had caused her so much pain, now renewed as though nothing had happened in the first place.

“Thank you.” She said to him breathlessly after a moment, she reached for her belt, and pulled her coin purse and dropped it on his desk. “I need a potion or two if you have spares.” Farengar looked at the coin purse and then at her, and sighed his shoulders slumped. There was no fighting her, was there?

“Give me a moment Raelynn. I can’t...believe...I...” He muttered moving away towards a small drawer in his office.

“What are you thinking about doing?” Vilkas finally growled in a low whisper at the mage still appraising her hand.

“I’m going to wipe them out.” Raelynn whispered back, swallowing her voice again. The anger swelled in his own heart. She looked down at her hands, she was stretching her fingers, and ripping away what was left of one of the bandages while trying to tighten the rags of the hand that hadn’t just been healed.

“You can’t. Not by yourself. We should wait for your brother--” Vilkas finally replied, but that caused her to snap her neck in his direction and glare at him.

“I’m not waiting for him. Where is he now? He should have been here. He _promised_ Kodlak. He could have stopped them. I couldn’t.” She spat shaking her head away again “I’m not waiting. And I know you don’t want to wait either.”

“You don’t know anything about what I want.” Vilkas snapped back, his fist on the table, his hand gripping the backrest of her chair he sneered the whisper out of his lips as he leaned in. “Letting our _anger_ consume us won’t do anything to bring him back….”

“I _know_ you want to spill their blood.” Raelynn whispered back steadily looking straight into his eyes.

Vilkas opened his mouth and stopped, pulling away from her the moment Farengar had returned into the room with a couple blue bottles and set them on the table for Raelynn.

“Thank you.” Raelynn stated again, this time her voice was much calmer. She picked up the bottles with one hand and nodded at the court wizard. She glanced at Vilkas as she passed him and started out of the office.

Vilkas followed after her out of Dragonsreach and down the steps in the bright moonlight watching her uncork the first potion and down it bitterly, and then uncork the second one.

“I’m going with you.” He huffed out.

“I don’t need you--

“I’m not going with you to babysit you.” They stopped underneath the archway to the dead tree. “You’re right. I want their blood for what they’ve done. You and I couldn’t stop them. Your brother wasn’t here. He should have been. But you and I are. We’re are going to wipe them all out. Right now. You and me.” He breathed out harshly. Her round face was still stained with tears, and one side was red and swollen with the mark of the man’s hand. Her hair was tossed back messily and some strands still clung to her face, but her blue eyes reflecting the bright moonlight with an eerie glow reminiscent of the sparks from her hand showed him nothing but a steep determination. For the first time it felt, they were both in understanding of each other

“Lead the way then.” She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, and motioned for him to start with the same hand.

-

They were dead. Not all of them though. Not yet. One of them was still screaming.

Raelynn sat with her back against a heavy wooden door. The screams were coming from behind the door, and they only got louder even with the infernal howling that followed them. Rae scowled. She felt a deep disgust in the back of her throat, but she pushed it down and threw her head back, downing a small vial of blue she had found somewhere in this damned refuge. It was much more bitter than Farengar’s.

The muffled screaming wasn’t stopping, and neither did the ripping noise of flesh. Was it bad that it wasn’t enough? Was it bad that she wanted to see? No. She didn’t, if she was honest, she was just telling herself she wanted to see because, well, because the anger hadn’t fully subsided.

There was some begging now, and then more blood curdling screams. Raelynn straightened her back and threw the empty vial across the room she was in, letting it smash on the wet stone floor. The glass exploded and smashed into a million tiny glittering pieces showering over the newly made corpses staring blankly at her on the same floor. They had done this to themselves. Yet, she had to avert her gaze from the blank eyes looking back at her. She didn’t know why she thought _this_ would make her feel better. Raelynn brought her knees in and waited.

The screaming stopped after what seemed like a short eternity. Only the howling was left in the room, the damned guttural growling and now the door she was leaning on began to be pushed violently into the wooden bar barricading it. Raelynn steadied her feet on the stone wall and pushed back. She didn’t budge even when she heard it scratching at the door, each time with less force. Rae closed her eyes tightly and waited, trying not to think about what would happen to her if he got through the door. She’d deserve it. A few moments passed and the door finally stopped pushing. Rae waited.

“Sparks?” She heard Vilkas’ familiar accent calling muffled and breathless from the other side.

“Yeah.” She called back after a moment of not moving from her place on the door.

“You can...You can open now.”

Rae breathed, she didn’t get up right away. After a few minutes of hesitation she wobbled up, feeling her knees weak and with some difficult pulled up and away the heavy wooden bar she had barricaded herself with. When the door open, she stood in the doorway nearly expecting to see a beast’s red eyes staring back at her, but instead only Vilkas stood there, dressed in a torn bloodied shirt and pants that were just a bit too short on his legs. Clearly, borrowed. He didn’t look at her. His eyes were empty and he marched past her and the doorway leaving behind a scene for her to behold.

Beyond the doorway, Kodlak’s murderer lay dead, much like all his friends. His arms had been mangled and torn clean off from the torso that looked like it was clawed by a pack of vicious animals, yet the soft green of a paralyzing spell was yet to fade from what was left of the body. Rae didn’t think it would have lasted that long. She felt the metallic taste of bile push into her mouth, but her eyes remained cold on the scene before she curled her lips and swallowed the disgust. Her left hand shot up and she sent a small blast of fire towards the torn up body.

Her other hand shot up but nothing else came. She was drained. Her fingers stretched up, but again there was nothing. Vilkas’ hand landed gently on her wrist lowering her hand.

“There’s no use. It’s done.” He looked at her with tired eyes. Rae curled her fingers into a fist but released it and nodded back at him, with closed eyes turned away and started out of the room. Vilkas breathed out heavily and followed after her stepping over bodies, careful not to stare at their faces for too long. Some of them lay in a pool of their own drying blood with sword wounds. Others were charred, reaching out with horror still painted on their red and blackened faces. The lucky ones were simple ash piles. Now that the anger and the adrenaline were leaving him, all he could feel was a heavy emptiness setting into his tired limbs. There was no regret for what they had done here, but there was no pride in his heart either.  

His eye set on the mage girl leading the way out of the small hideout. The whole silent trip here, he hadn’t been so sure that she was ready to follow through, but now, walking towards the exit, he was doubting he knew her at all.

At least then, she didn’t seem the careless flower-picking hot headed stubborn twit. She was silent and angry, not just a jittery mage. She was, as the first time he had really noticed her, coming at him with a dull dagger in her hands. Something uncontrollable, sinister, and rabid, had flashed in those damned deep eyes like a sudden flash of lightning, something was just as wrong with her as it was with him. He knew it then. He knew it now. He knew it because the beast inside of him _hated_ her almost as much as he hated it. She was dangerous. He knew for certain now.

Rae opened the door to the refuge and stood in the doorway waiting for him. The cold blew past them and chilled them both to the bone but neither of them moved, and ignored it.

“It’s not done yet.” The mage-girl spat out, her lips contorting into an ugly frown.

“It is.” He replied looking away. “Kodlak is gone. We have avenged him.We’ve done all we can.”

“No. I refuse that. He wanted something else.”

“There’s nothing we can do about that now.” Vilkas sighed defeatedly, he slumped his shoulders and shook his head. “We need to find a place to rest. You’ve been pushing yourself too much.”

“I don’t want to rest. We need to get back.” Raelynn replied with a hard swallow.

“There was a hunter’s refuge not far from here. I spotted it on our way in.” Vilkas sighed.

“Rest?” Raelynn questioned, her voice low and tired. “You don’t understand…I can’t.” Raelynn’s mouth soured. “Besides, Gael promised him. He’ll know what to do...” Her voice dipped into a sob and she wiped angrily at her face. A broken sob tore the silence the snowfall was peacefully bringing with it.

“I don’t think it’s wise for us to try to get back in this state.” The light was breaking in the horizon, and as much as he hated the thought of moving, the thought of camping here made his stomach turn. The crackle of her hands was what set him into motion.

“Stop that.” He hissed grabbing at her wrists and pulling them away from her face. It stung to do so without gauntlets, and he was rather thankful that she was low on whatever magical juice impulses the damned magicks to come out of her hands. His automatic movement made her jump back in surprise but he kept her firmly in place and lowered her hands letting go of them. “We’re not going anywhere like this. We’ll rest for a couple of hours and start back as soon as we both have enough strength.”

She swallowed her sobs but nodded yes.

“Good. You’re no good to anyone if you collapse from exhaustion.” He pointed out mechanically, she nodded again wiping her face with the back of her hands. How could she be such a child, so naive to the way the world worked, and yet…Vilkas glanced over his shoulder once again and with the heel of his boot closed the door behind them. If there were any stragglers left, finding what Rae and he had left in that refuge would probably make them think twice about showing up at Jorrvaskr for any more vengeance.

“You were right.” She muttered, her eyes had finally found the courage to look at him, but they were sunken and troubled. “I let my emotions--

“We both did.” He accepted with a sigh. The chill in the air couldn’t be ignored further. “Come now. Before we catch our deaths out here.” He started trudging in the snow past her. She let her words linger in the back of her throat a little longer before she started after him into the woods.

~

_Smoke billowed upon the plains. The cool grass was warm with blood, crushed under dead weight, soldiers clad in red and blue. She felt an invading pain in her side, looking down on it, the red wasn’t even noticeable under the red tunic of her scout armor. No. Not hers. Her figure was too masculine. Her hands not hers, again. She was...wounded. Dying. She felt her life draining away. The panic settled in her heart but she felt nothing but calm from him. Resignation. This was what he signed up for, to give his life for country. The dark smoke billowed higher into the air, clouding the blue of the sky._

_He couldn’t die here, but there was nothing left in him. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. Footsteps crushed the grass, approaching him. Someone kicked him over. Staring down at her a woman with a freckled dusty face, amber hair and emerald eyes. She was clad in blue and held a sword and a shield._

_He laughed. Why was he laughing?_

_“Thank Dibella, at least I die staring at something beautiful, and not at some stupid bulky nord” His voice clicked. The woman frowned at him, and raised her sword, but her face showed hesitation. She brought the blade down, but it didn’t pierce him, it slid neatly into the dirt next to his face. She didn’t retrieve her sword but instead knelt down over him, and pushed a red vial into his mouth. Relief came instantly._

_“You are dead.” She hissed at him._

_~_

_No._

_Snow. Cold and unbroken all around her. Raelynn shivered but sat up. She didn’t recognize the clearing surrounded by snowberry bushes and tall bare trees. Their black branches etching charcoal lines into the sky. She shook her head trying to place herself, but she felt too dizzy to care. She tried to even out her breathing. At least this wasn’t the dark place. At least he wasn’t here. And though the snow was steadily falling, the miserable cold had subsided._

_“There you are, finally.” The metallic voice from the mask greeted her. Her eyes shot to his figure standing on the perfect snow. No footsteps or traces of his robe left behind. His mask looked up at the sky, and the constant snowflakes seemed to touch everywhere but him. He didn’t move at all._

_“It’s not dark.” She noted tiredly looking around. The clearing looked familiar, but everything was spinning._

_“I don’t know why you’ve brought us here, this time, but I sense you are weak. You shouldn’t do this when you’re so...spent.” He stated finally looking to her. He stepped towards her, without ruining the perfect blanket of snow all around them. He knelt and pressed his hand against her shoulder. Raelynn let herself be pushed back down so she was lying face up looking up at the sky blankly.  His mask stared down at her curiously._

_“I don’t know either.” She confessed. “I don’t know anything. I’m just tired and...and....I don’t know”_

_“Your mind is troubled. Your body is weak. Why do you waste energy calling me here?”_

_“I have nobody but my demons...You.” She answered blankly, she stared at his mask, past him the dark branches reached across almost weaving out the pure grey sky. She felt soft cold touches on her face, melt into hot droplets and disappear down the slope of her cheeks into the dark night of her hair. His mask stared endlessly at her. “I lost restraint. Completely. I promised to never again. But it’s just as back then...”_

_“You don’t regret it?” He replied after a moment. He sat next to her, but faced away. She didn’t look for him, because she felt him nearby._

_“No. I don’t.” She turned her face in place to look at him. He sat with one knew curled against his chest with his hands clasped at the knee, his other leg bent underneath. He looked out into the clearing._

_“And back then? Do you regret that?”_

_Raelynn was silent for another moment._

_“No.” She finally said pulling her eyes from the curves of his mask to the grey sky and the curled branches. Even with the obstruction, the sky was so peaceful, unlike the suffocating darkness that she was usually enveloped in. She wanted to close her eyes but she was afraid that if she did, she might lose herself into dreams again, “They should have left me alone. I was drowning while they laughed.”_

_She let herself close her eyes. She could feel the pressure all around her too, the muffled laughing from the dock, and a hand not much bigger than hers pulling her up. She had broken the surface gasping, and Gael had drug her out over the wooden floor. The heckling did not stop even then, but now, their ire was focused on her brother. They moved in on him, while she shivered and tried to regain herself, and as they started to close around him, something else came from her hands, something that threw the whole lot of them backwards like ragdolls. They ran from her screaming and crying. Everything about that day was still blurry. She felt herself fade._

_“Raelynn, don’t go yet.” His metallic voice called her back softly. She opened her eyes and blinked at the mask staring down at her. She felt her head go dizzy again. Of course. He couldn’t let her rest. He moved away from over her, and she sat up. He seemed entranced by his surroundings._

_“What is it?” She sighed. He seemed to hesitate._

_“I haven’t seen a place like this for so long. I would like to stay longer,” He simply looked around until his mask landed back upon her. “I cannot feel the cold of the snow, but seeing it so vividly, I cannot help but wonder….how?”_

_“I don’t know.” Raelynn sighed out again. “I don’t.”_

_They sat in silence, side by side, staring away from one another, but letting the snow fall around them._

_“Regret is a useless sentiment” His metal voice finally piped up, though there was something different about the tone. “Cast it aside.”_

_“You know of it?”_

_“No.” He turned to face her, she was staring at him as curiously as he had been staring at his surroundings. Her hand reached for his mask slowly enough for him to turn away. “Why do you insist on these foolish questions about me?”_

_“I’m too tired to fight you, or perhaps, I’ve gotten comfortable with my demon.” She replied lowering her hand and shifting her eyes from the mask._

_“I suppose that is fair. Yet I am more, so much more than that, so much more than you could possibly imagine. You’ll learn soon enough.”_

_“Why don’t you just tell me?”_

_“No. Not yet.” He replied with a shake of his head and returned to his silent observing. Raelynn wiped the wetness off her cheek. It was useless. The damned snow kept melting on touching her face._

_“There is much sadness here. You grieve for someone.” He finally said and turning back to her. Raelynn stared at him and then lowered her eyes. Ah yes, how could she forget? Yet here, there was only the numb slow fall of the snow.  The heaviness and miserable cold was not reaching her. She looked at the masked man blankly. “And you do not wish to be alone.”_

_“Get out of my head.” She muttered out softly looking away and closing her eyes. “I didn’t mean to…”_

_“I know. Rest. I will remain until you fade away from here.” He stated. Rae laid back down on the snow and tried to ignore his dizzying presence, instead she tried focusing on the lines of the black branches cutting across the grey sky. He sat still next to her._

_“The first…” Raelynn muttered out, through half-closed eyelids. He looked down at her. “You’re the first what…?”_

_She thought she heard him chuckle, softly before a whisper of a breeze blew through her, like the bones of a dead dragon upon the plains of whiterun speaking straight into her, but the word fell from her grasp, lost to the dark embrace of sleep, nothing more again, but a forgotten nightmare._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was a little late. I spent some extra time trying to edit, because rereading I've found a couple errors/typos etc... TBF most of the time I type these late at night after a full day of work so sometimes I'm a little brain dead. So thank you for bearing with me on that front.  
> Next chapter is being worked on! :) Thank you again for reading :) (and I"m sorry if this one was all over the dang place)


	13. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae and Vilkas talk.

“Dovahkiin.” The whisper escaped Rae’s lips and disappeared with the warm fog of her breath into the cold. The fatigue hit her limbs all at once but she still sat up, groaning and touching her aching head, a curtain of black hair following her face as she leaned her forehead further into her fingers and squeezed her eyes shut. Something important was missing. Again. 

“Sparks?” Vilkas somber voice pulled her slit eyes to him on the other side of the dying campfire. “Are you ok?” 

“Yes...Just a...dream.”  Rae blinked, barely nodding. She moved her eyes away from him and back onto her lap, trying to refocus until the heavy feelings finished settling into her heart.  

“Dream or ...a nightmare? You were mumbling.” Vilkas’s eyes were steady on her and she began to rub her palm with her thumb. Rae shrugged silently.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember” She muttered out. She felt Vilkas’ eyes avert back to the dying embers between them, and only after a minute did she glance back up at him. He sat on his own bedroll with a silent but clearly troubled expression on his face. His left hand held his right side and he grimaced when he sat up closer to feed the flame. 

“I couldn’t get much sleep myself.” He piped up, but their eyes still avoided each other. “My mind kept wandering back to Jorrvaskr. Was it the same with you?”

“I...I don’t know.” she replied “I can’t remember.” 

“We should try to get going then.” He said after another moment, he moved to stand up, his face scrunched up, a deep growl left him and he looked out of breath when he finally got on his feet, his hand held his side.  

“You’re hurt.” She pointed out shooting up off her bedroll and going towards him. 

“I’m fine.” He snipped glancing back at her, Raelynn stopped in her tracks, halfway to where he stood. A cold breeze pushed through her and the small clearing. Somewhere down the hill an icy creek was rustling. The man standing in front of her groaned and stumbled, breathing out in exasperation when she moved for him anyway and helped him back down on his bedroll. 

“Let me look.” Rae said. 

“No. I’ll be fine.” He replied swiftly. 

“You’re being stubborn.” She pointed out pushing his shoulder down. He resisted being laid back with his elbow behind him. Raelynn huffed and pushed him down anyway. 

“Move your hand.”

“I told you...” He growled. Raelynn straightened her back. She glared straight into his eyes and pursed her lips. Her hands slid into the hand that he was holding his side with, pulling away at it resolutely. He flinched at her touch but she didn’t look away from him, her hand insisted until he pulled it away himself, revealing the splotches of dry and new blood on the ragged shirt.  “It’s fine.”

“Really? That looks fine to you, Sword boy?” She snapped shaking her head. He rolled his eyes at her. “Since last night, and you couldn’t say anything?” 

“It’s just a scratch. What were you going to do anyway? Use your damned magic on me?” 

Rae didn’t reply, but her eyes said what she was thinking. Vilkas looked away and sighed deeply. She was pulling the dirty shirt up now, peeling the parts that were stuck to his skin with careful precision. 

“It’s more than a scratch. He got you good.” She chastised rubbing her hands together. He looked like a hurt animal ready to bite and snarl, but his eyes remained calm and steady. 

“You shouldn’t.” He finally said. “I don’t need your magic.” 

“I don’t have anything else for it. You want that get infected?” She replied, her right hand reached out for the wound but he caught her wrist. 

“No. I’ve told you to keep that magic away from me--

“Why are you being so stubborn?” Rae snapped loudly, breaking the chirping from around the trees. “Can’t you see I just want to help? I don’t want to hurt anybody! I never did.” Her voice cracked and she scrunched her face, her lips pursed and she pushed her hand over his wound with his hand in tow on her wrist. His grip tightened but the tips of her fingers had reached the open skin, followed by the rest of her hand. Vilkas hissed at the sudden pressure, but more so at the warmth of her touch. Rae’s hand released a soft golden glow that swirled in waves from her hand into his side, the sting of her touch subsiding almost immediately as the waves mended the wound. All he was left with was her hand on his side, and her eyes stared defyingly at his angry blues. Vilkas’ grip on her wrist loosened and suddenly his veins felt hot very, a different unpleasant feeling crawled through his stomach and into his chest. His thoughts wandered from the disappearing pain to a better observance of her moon-white face, the deep blue eyes plagued with tiredness, and most particularly, her full lips twisted into a deep frown of dislike. Her hand flickered and the glow stopped. Rae pulled it away immediately but he did not let go of it. She looked away from him letting the curtain of black hair fall over half her face. 

“Not all mages are uncontrollable monsters.” She hissed pulling her hand but he kept it. 

“I want my hand back now.” She gestured. He looked down but didn’t let go. 

“Thank you.” He slumped his shoulders in defeat.

“You’re welcome.” She replied resolutely pulling back again. 

“I should apologize.” He started suddenly, that made her turn back to him from underneath her curtain of black hair. “For the way I’ve treated you.” 

“You don’t need to.” 

“I do. I must.” He insisted “For whatever reason, Kodlak chose to trust you and I turned away from that, and instead listened to...to my blood. You did nothing...to warrant that kind of treatment. I wanted to apologize and explain back at Jorrvaskr, but…” He sighed and shook his head, he wasn’t too sure what else to say. What could he say? That she was stubborn and wouldn’t listen to him? That they were interrupted? 

“You had no reason to trust me. You still don’t. I get it.” Raelynn replied tugging at her hand, the thought of zapping him crossing through her mind briefly. 

“The beast blood….it is a difficult thing for me. I dislike it and I dislike using it.” He started. “Sometimes it has its uses. It’s not an excuse for attacking you, but it doesn’t seem to like you very much.”

“ **You** don’t seem to like me very much---”

“That’s not...That’s not it.” He blurted out. “I couldn’t control it. When you were in danger I chose to trust the beast inside of me because Kodlak entrusted me with your safety. I thought I could control it, but once it took over I couldn’t do anything. It wanted nothing else but to destroy you and I couldn’t stop it. I only put you in more danger.”

Raelynn stared at him intently for more than a moment her face softened but her eyes shimmered, she shook her head but said nothing. He sighed.

“I thought that you might be hiding something, whatever is making it react that way, but--”

“You mean the same way the companions hide that they’re werewolves?” She snipped. 

“No, I...I... Yes” He sucked in a breath. 

“And of course it’s because I’m a mage? Isn’t it? I get it.” 

“Listen to me! When you jumped in front of Kodlak, I realized I was wrong. You’re not what I--What the blood thinks you are.” 

“And what is that? What does you--it think I am?!” Raelynn snapped loudly. He flinched back. She pulled her wrist out of his hand. “A danger?” 

“Yes.” 

The hurt her in her eyes made him regret the answer. She said nothing and instead looked down at her hands again, rubbing her left palm this time slowly. 

“Look. It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t have mattered. Kodlak was right to trust you...” He tried

“Or maybe Kodlak was wrong and you were right.” Raelynn breathed out. “You saw what I did to those people last night. Maybe everyone was right. I shouldn’t have left the college. I’d never thought I would be capable of…” 

“What **_we_ ** did.” He interjected, he pulled her chin up but let go immediately. He wanted those deep eyes to stare into his, so she could know he wasn’t lying to her. “You didn’t do that by yourself. And I’m not proud of it either. We just did what honor demanded.”

“That wasn’t _honor_. Stop lying to yourself. We didn’t do this for Kodlak. We did it for ourselves. We wanted the vengeance, and it’s not going to bring him back or fix...or fix anything. It didn’t even make me feel better. He’s still gone.”  

“Fine. You’re right.” He finally said with a clenched jaw. “We acted selfishly in grief for our Harbinger, but we did what we thought was needed. That is enough and I hold no regrets. Neither should you.”

“I’m not a companion.” Raelynn corrected pulling away her face. 

“If you don’t want to call yourself one, then don’t, but Kodlak called you one, and that’s enough for me.” 

“I’m danger--

“So am I….” He responded sternly. She searched his face, for what, she wasn’t sure. Her stare softened and she felt her heartbeat accelerate. “You saw it in my eyes just as I saw it in yours. The first time our eyes met. I know you did,”

“I saw your eyes flash. That’s all.” Raelynn swallowed remembering the sparring session of a couple weeks prior. She felt a tinge of embarrassment across her face.   

“Because you called the beast. And you know what I saw? I saw helplessness lurking underneath yours.” He replied with a steady gaze. “Something very wrong. And everytime I look at you, I can’t shake the feeling, but I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You’re **not** wrong.” Raelynn muttered her eyes shone and she looked away  “I feel it. I do....like there’s something wrong inside. No. Like there’s something missing. Something important.” She let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know how to explain it.” 

He blinked at her a couple of times but didn’t look away, sitting next to him, was the closest she’d been to him since their sparring session. Ever since, she’d kept a healthy distance. She sighed shaking her head frustratedly.

“It’s an unexplainable feeling. Like I’m lost in myself, and I can’t breath of my own accord.” She sighed, she rubbed the side of her face now. “I haven’t been myself lately. Not since...Not since I left the college following what? A dream? And I don’t even remember half of it.” She huffed out, her breathing was growing harsher. “I’ve done things, in the last few weeks that I would never...You saw it last night. I would never use my magic to harm anyone like that, but in all honesty, I wanted to, I enjoyed it while it was happening, but now? Afterwards? It’s like a bad hangover, and I feel nothing but shame.” 

“They deserved what they got.”

“That’s what I've been telling myself. But did they really? Or was I just so blinded by rage and vengeance and grief?” She pinched her nose, and shook her head. “I didn’t know Kodlak for long, but it was enough time to show me the kind of person he was, He looked at me like I wish my own parents would have: without disdain. And now he’s gone. He’s really gone.”

The shimmering in her eyes grew until she blinked and the droplets were released down the frame of her face. Vilkas drew in a breath, and pulled her in, tensing up as he did, but when he didn’t let the embrace go, she melted into his chest, and cried. He patted her hair softly and held her, while her hands clung to ratty shirt he’d taken off one of the corpses the night before. The clearing was silent except for her sniffling and the song of the creek nearby. 

“I don’t know what’s going on.” She finally said pulling away some. “But I know it’s linked to Gael, and that’s why I have to find him. If I find him, maybe these damned dreams...nightmares, will go away, and I”ll find what I’m missing. So you’re not wrong. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe there’s always been something wrong with me...but I can’t just sit in Winterhold anymore. I can’t.” 

A softer silence fell between them then, their eyes averted away from each other and she breathed out but he pulled her in again anyway and held her again. Partly because he wanted to comfort her, and partially because even with his blood boiling in his veins at her proximity, he found comfort in her as well. Kodlak was gone. It was true, and she, out of all the people, that reflected his own feelings. He felt stupid. 

“Sparks.” He piped up after a few moments when her sobbing had died down to sniffling in his chest. 

“Hm?” She pulled away and looked at him with tired eyes. 

“We’ll find Gael.” He sighed out. Her eyes questioned him but he pushed on. “I’ll make sure you find him.” 

She nodded and let out a breath. 

“I’ve been rash and stubborn. I should apologize to you too.” She finally made out. His thin lips split into a broken half-smile. 

“You are rash, stubborn and insufferable…” He admitted “but so am I. Perhaps we have more in common than we knew.” 

Her own lips formed a shaky smile, but it disappeared as soon as it came, and her eyes wandered away to the treeline. 

“The journal…” She muttered out as though remembering something. “Kodlak...he said...to find his journal. He also mentioned he sent Gael to fetch some things for him regarding his research...What if...”

“What if….?” He asked, and she pulled away immediately. 

“Gael knows how to cure your condition? He should have an idea I mean, if Kodlak entrusted him with a task related that…and he wasn’t keen on giving whatever it was to Farkas to deliver it back…” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Kodlak’s gone.” 

“It does matter.” Rae replied softly. Her eyes lowered and she turned halfway, to face the man sitting next to her in silence that was starting to become comfortable. Even without his armor, he sat tall and straight, his built frame stiff and tense next to her. He looked livelier than earlier, and for a moment, a dust of pink covered her face. “We should get back.” 

“Yes. That would be for the best. They’re probably awaiting our return for ...” He trailed off, she had pushed back her hair now, and gave him the look of a hurt animal. It stung deep in his chest too. 

“Yeah. I know.” She breathed out and pulled herself up, she brushed herself off and extended her hand to him. He took it gratefully, dusting himself off, his side no longer aching with each breath he drew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got to posting this. I went back and rewrote it like 5 times. Sorry for the lack in posting. RL kicking my ass again. :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	14. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae embarks back on her quest to find her brother. And this time she's closer than she thinks....

 

Skyforge was crowded but amongst the faces, Raelynn couldn’t pick out Gael’s. She had hoped the news would have reached him and that he would have shown, if anything at least out of respect for Kodlak, but that hope had faded as Eorlund finished the eulogy and Aela picked up the torch to light the pyre where Kodlak lay over the forge itself. Gael wasn’t going to show up. 

Rae averted her eyes from the Pyre, Kodlak’s body looked at peace, formal and fierce to the end, his crossed over the hilt of his blade. Rae felt uneasy seeing him like that, when all she could think about was that his spirit was not where he wanted it to be. Her eyes scanned the floor and then moved around the faces again one last time. Most, if not all of Whiterun was in attendance, most noticeably the Jarl and his court, including Farengar who stared at her with curious eyes. Rae lowered her eyes back onto the floor. 

The incomplete Circle; Farkas, Vilkas and Aela stood side by side ahead of the rest of the companions including Rae herself, who stood next to a solemn Noelle. The silence enveloped them all except for the crackling of the flames. After a moment, the crowd dispersed, Noelle gave Raelynn’s shoulder a soft pat but said nothing. Raelynn moved away from the murmurs of the crowd almost immediately. They were mostly condolences and thoughts, but she didn’t really want any of them, after feeling like such an imposter standing there amongst the Companions.   

“Raelynn” Farengar’s voice called out. Rae had half the mind to move away faster but she stopped in her tracks catching the court mage followed by Jarl Balgruuf himself in tow. Rae patted down the soft blue fabric of her robe, and breathed in. 

“Farengar?” She half-smiled. 

“I don’t think you’ve met the Jarl, yet, have you?” 

“No. Of course not. It is an honor.” Raelynn nodded bowing her head at the Jarl. The man studied her for a moment and then nodded. “How can I help you?” 

“Farengar mentioned you were the Dragonborn’s sister?” Jarl Balgruuf mentioned “Your brother has been very helpful. I just wanted to meet you.”

“Oh. Well….” Raelynn bowed her head again, her eyes caught Vilkas past the Jarl, watching her from the corner of his eye, while following Eorlund and the other two present members of the circle away. Raelynn’s eyes returned to the Jarl. “it is an honor to meet you Jarl.” 

“I am very sorry to hear about Kodlak. Anything that I can do for you or your brother, please let me know.” The Jarl smiled gently. 

“I didn’t get to know him much, but thank you” Raelynn nodded, she bit her lip, “Would you...Would you happen to know where…?” 

“No. I don’t know of his whereabouts. The last I saw him, the Greybeards had beckoned him to High Hrothgar. I knew he had joined the ranks of the companions. I was hoping to see him.”

“I see. Thank you.” 

“Farengar says you’re very talented in the magical arts.” The Jarl continued. Raelynn tried not to sigh. “He was insisting on an assistant and thinks you would be a good fit.” 

“I-I---” Rae looked taken aback. She glared at Farengar. “I am honored but, I must apologize Jarl, my time in Whiterun is limited. After I see my brother, I intend to return to the College to continue my studies. Farengar should know the importance of study” 

“That I do.” Farengar shrugged with a smile. “Shame. I thought the Jarl would convince you to stay.” 

“I apologize if this wasn’t the time.” The Jarl nodded. Rae shook her head. 

“No, no, it’s fine...I thank you for the offer.” Raelynn replied bowing “If you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling too well.” Rae moved quickly away, before either of them could say anything else, and headed straight towards Jorrvaskr. When she was tucked away in the warmth it offered she headed down to the common room and unclipped the short hooded cloak upon entering the common room and placed it upon her preferred bunk, moving for her knapsack instead. 

Raelynn sighed and took a seat. She felt more tired than anything, the heaviness inside of her heart weighed her deeply. Rae buried her face in her hands and breathed in, she looked up only upon hearing the heavy footsteps near the doorway. 

Vilkas. They hadn’t spoken much after taking the road back to Whiterun. There had been a brief discussion on helping a strange man with a broken cart wheel ask for help from a nearby farmer, but other than that their trip back was silent, quick and uneventful. They hadn’t spoken through the preparations for the funeral, and she had not seen him until just a moment ago. At least his eyes didn’t feel as scrutinizing now as they had been before. 

“Are you ok?” He asked lingering by the doorway. 

“I’m fine. Are you?” She replied pulling up her face.

“I could be better.” He leaned an arm on the doorway. He nodded at her. “It fit correctly?” 

“Oh? Yes. Thank you. Where did you…?” She lifted her arms and showed him but didn’t get off the bed. It was shorter than the regular robes at the college, this one falling just over her knee, and a little snug around her body. The fabric was a deep blue, and it was much lighter than her old robe. The hem cut in an angle and the middle was held tight around her waist with a belt she had bought at the market earlier, she wore black pants underneath. The cloak itself was hooded and also made of the same blue fabric, it came down at about the same length as her robe but was slightly heavier.

“Good.” He nodded. “There’s a Khajiit Caravan that passes through here on occasion….”

“Ah. I see. Nobody in town had any when I went looking.” She muttered. 

“Not a lot of mages except for Farengar.” He replied. Silence fell between them again. He seemed preoccupied with something. “Did you manage to get some rest?” 

“No. Of course not.” Raelynnn replied, bringing her knees in. He sighed and looked down. 

“Noelle mentioned you were packing your knapsack today?” 

“Yes.” Raelynn replied breathing in deeply “I wanted to wait until after the funeral,” 

“I see. So you were just going to leave?” He nodded and fell silent again. He pursed his lips, and straightened off the doorframe. 

“No. I wanted to say goodbye to everyone.” Raelynn replied, feeling the sting in the corner of her eyes. 

“Of course.” He paused. There was a bit of silence and he moved his hand from behind his back. He held a small leather bound brown journal. “I took the liberty of taking Kodlak’s journal from his room since you mentioned it. I...I thought you might want to see what’s inside.” He stepped towards her, stopped before her bed, and gave her the book. Raelynn looked at it unsure and then with a shaky hand accepted it. 

“I did want to see, but it didn’t feel right” She sighed passing her gloved fingers over it. 

“Open it.” Vilkas encouraged stepping back a little. The sting in her eyes got worse. She nodded, and pulled apart the string knotted over it. He stayed close watching her eyes scan over the pages, a few tears rolling down the side of her face, that she wiped with frustration. She didn’t even look up at him once, until she got to the last page. Raelynn shut the book and shook her head, her hands shooting up to rub her wet face. 

“He had dreams too. He thought it was your brother he dreamt of, but it was you.” Vilkas took a seat next to her on the bed. “Did you dream of him? Do you remember? What does it mean?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think I did. If I did, I might not remember” Raelynn sighed out her voice felt broken. “I don’t know what it means. But now we know, what Gael was sent to do. He must have completed his task and then something happened that he couldn’t return right away....Me, him? It doesn’t matter who it is. You realize this means there might still be a chance to help Kodlak’s spirit…?”

“Yes. I know. The Circle spoke of this earlier when we convened. But we cannot enter Ysgamor’s tomb without Wuuthrad.” 

Rae shot him a questioning look. Her grip on the small book tightened. 

“Ysgramor's axe. Your brother has the remaining fragments, fragments he took from the Silver hand. His task to join us was to collect them.” 

 “Then more the reason that I must find him. Surely, he has dealt with the glenmoril witches, and he also has those fragments” Raelynn replied quickly moving to stand, he pushed her back down with his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not stopping me.”  

“No. I know. But I am going to go with you.” 

“What? No. I’m fine. The Companions need you here.” 

“No, They don’t. Aela and Noelle can take over training the new blood, and Farkas will be around to help them. I’ve talked it over with them. They all agree. This isn’t just about you finding your brother now. It’s about Kodlak.” 

Rae scanned his face and shook her head again. 

“This isn’t your responsibility. Just because Kodlak gave you some stupid babysittin--

“Kodlak entrusted me and I am trusting you to help us save his spirit from the Hunting Grounds” Vilkas replied back quickly. Raelynn swallowed the knot in her throat. “Let me do something useful. Something that actually mattered to him. Please. Let me help you find Gael so we can put Kodlak’s spirit at ease. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

She nodded. He uncrossed his arms and took a seat at the edge of her bed, his hands went to his hair, and he pushed it back, and then took a deep breath. He looked much more rigid with his armor now. 

“I don’t know where this journey is going to take me.” Raelynn finally piped up from behind her knees. 

“It doesn’t matter where. We’ll find your brother.”

“And save Kodlak.” She added. “Are you sure coming with me is the best idea?”

“Yes. The faster we find your brother the better...” 

She moved to hand him back Kodlak’s journal but he waved it away. 

“Keep it. It’ll be more useful to you than any of us, honestly.”  He tapped his legs with one hand and then finally turned to look at her. “Tomorrow bright and early then. Where are we headed?” 

“Ivarstead. If anyone knows where he is, it’s the greybeards.” Raelynn replied steadily. He nodded and got up. 

“Very well. Try to get some rest.” He lingered for a moment and then stepped out of the common area. She watched the door long after he was gone. It was strange, the sudden comfort that came from his presence. It almost felt like trust. 

~ 

Bright and early, at least Raelynn felt rested, and if there had been any nightmares she couldn’t remember them, but the feeling of lingering forgetfulness was not there in the morning and she did feel rested. As much as she could feel, anyway.

After a brief farewell to Jorrvaskr, some supplies were procured from Belethor, and then a brief visit to the stables that ended with the stablehand asking Raelynn to please leave, because for some reason, all the horses in the stable rose into a panic any time she neared them. 

“See. I’m not the only one that thinks you’re weird.” Vilkas poked with an irritated voice, he nodded for her to follow. So much for getting to Ivarstead as fast as they could. Instead, they managed to secure a couple of seats on a carriage leaving for Riften, that was going to pass by Ivarstead. The driver was rather talkative, and Vilkas listened making small talk with him about the recent happenings, the war, and whatever small talk was brought up. Raelynn on the other hand, dipped into her knapsack for a book, finding Urag’s copy of the _Book of the Dragonborn_ , and digging straight into it, though cringing at the thought of Urag, probably hiring thugs or someone to come fetch his book back. It made a small giggle escape her lips, the thought of the old librarian invoking the Dark Brotherhood to retrieve a book. He wouldn’t...would he? Nah...He wouldn’t go to such measures ...Right?  

The sound she made caught Vilkas attention, and he gazed at her with slight confusion, drifting into a questioning smile, but his icy blues were taken away immediately by the enticing conversation about the weather from the driver. Rae pulled her glance from the man sitting across from her on the carriage and dug her face deeper into the book. 

The warm day, became a crisp evening, as the carriage carried on, approaching the bridge towards the small township that was Ivarstead. 5 hours on carriage would have been almost a whole day on foot, Rae was just thankful the damned horse pulling had not noticed her. After hopping off, Vilkas bid a happy and relieved adieu to the carriage driver, paying him, while Raelynn wandered, taking slow steps into the town. The Inn was the first building that greeted them, and she happily went inside, ordered food, and started to ask the bartender about High Hrothgar and if the Dragonborn had come by. 

Though suspicious at first due to some crazies also inquiring about him, he was happy to oblige once Raelynn explained she was his sister. The bartend explained that he had seen the Dragonborn the day before. He had briefly stopped by to tell them that their haunted barrow was no longer haunted and then headed up the steps to see the greybeards. 

That was enough to set Raelynn off towards the door, but Vilkas held her back, pleading that it was much too late to start the pilgrimage up the steps. Even the bartender pleaded with her, finally getting her to stay by offering a room with two beds at half price if it would mean she would wait until morning came.

“I don’t want a young maiden’s death on my conscious.” The bartender explained showing them to the room off the side of the firepit. Vilkas thanked him and Raelynn paid him, before closing the door and claiming the bed on the right side of the room. 

“We could have asked for separate rooms.” Vilkas piped up. “I can...go ask.” 

“This is fine. Unless it’s not with you. I don’t care.” Rae muttered out, taking off her knapsack and then unclipping her cloak and draping it over the bed’s frame.

“I suppose it will do.” He sat on the edge of his bed and began to take off his boots. Rae scratched her nose, kicking off her own boots as well, and taking a bow-legged seat on her bed. She reached for her knapsack and couldn’t help the smile that was crossing her lips again while she pulled out the small black book that had entertained her the entire ride here. “We **_have_ ** to get up early tomorrow. We can’t miss him.” 

“Of course.” Vilkas replied. “See? You were worrying too much, this will be a much shorter journey than you thought.” 

“I hope so.” She replied digging her nose into the book. He watched her eyes start scanning the pages again. She had already read that damned book twice on the way in, what else did she want from it? Her eyes lifted, and she blinked at him, their eyes crossed and he should have avoided her eyes but he didn’t. 

“Is there something wrong?” She asked finally, unease in her voice, his staring might have been distracting her. 

“No. Nothing. I-uh..I was just wondering what had you so interested in that book.” He shrugged moving up. He removed his chest piece, and straightened out his undershirt. She had forced her eyes back into her book. 

“Well...My brother _is_ the dragonborn. I don’t even know what that means, other than what I’ve been told.” She said, without removing her eyes. “The day I left Winterhold, I suddenly had the urge to learn about the Dragonborn. Strange, considering my studies were in a completely different subject matter: Old and Obscure magicks. I never even knew about what a Dragonborn was...and then...suddenly, I was in the library asking ...and...Sorry I’m rambling.” Her face flushed slightly and she returned to silence. He was sitting on his bed now, leaned back against the frame watching her.  

“Old and Obscure magicks, huh?” Vilkas repeated. 

“Yes. The types that aren’t usually studied. We must collectively accept that there are things in this world beyond the accepted schools…Though some of these might be morally ambiguous, I always thought it was a scholar’s duty to…” Her face reddened again. “To...learn about our world. About the strange and the different. Even if we may not understand it. I suppose, the Dragonborn falls under this category? I don’t know...I...”

“Even for a mage you’re strange and different, it seems.” he finally laughed. Her face went fully red and she tried to hide her pout with her book, but he still laughed. “And here I was thinking I was the smartest one in Jorrvaskr.”

“You’re brother mentioned you know a lot of the histories.” 

“Yes.” Vilkas replied simply “I enjoy reading when I have the time, and I enjoy learning our histories. Someone should know about them. It honors the past.”  The red in her face had subsided and she was smirking now instead. “What?” 

“So you’re the scholar at Jorrvaskr.” She poked with a giggle. It was his turn to flush. 

“Something like that.” He admitted “But I’m also the best swordsman.” 

“I would beg to differ.” Raelynn replied simply, her attention returning halfway to her book. 

“You cheated” He retorted. 

“Would you not use a blade if it was in your hand?” Raelynn replied not looking up from her book. 

“Shooting purified electricity at someone is something completely different than good swordsmanship.” 

“And if you could shoot electricity at someone?” 

“I would.” He replied. That made her look up from her book. “How do you even do it…? I’ve thought a lot about it since you healed me...” 

“Restoration is easy to learn but hard to master.” Raelynn replied looking at him steadily. “It is a simple magic, but an admirable school. Destruction, on the other hand, well, it takes a different mindset...I don’t know how to explain how to do it...” 

“I see.” 

She dropped her book on her lap, and pulled both her palms upward. One sparked, the other glowed in glittering golden waves. He looked at her perplexed. 

“It’s hard to explain when it comes so naturally.” She said, sitting up, and dropping her legs down to the floor. He sat up too and watched her. “I guess it’s the same as trying to teach someone how to wield a sword when they’ve never lifted one. But my magic, is just as with a sword, just that, a tool...” She looked down at her hands, and her eyes seemed to focus, both hands stopped what they were doing, and turned into fists, a deep purple glow came from them, she brought them together in a soft clap and pulled out of one of her palms a deep purple dagger of the same aura. She held it like a regular weapon and smiled observing the detail upon it, twirling it in her hand, before clapping it back into a ball of purple energy, and shaking away her hand to dismiss it.

“I suppose.” Vilkas finally replied nodding “It certainly has been useful to us, that doesn’t mean there aren’t mages willing to hurt others and deal with dremora and daedra” 

“You act like warriors with swords can’t choose to stab and mug people with those swords.” Raelynn shot back. She returned to her previous position, bow legged on the bed and picked up her book again. He leaned back on his own bed, and put an  arm under his head, looking up at the ceiling this time as to not interrupt her. 

“The prophecy of the Dragonborn…” She muttered out after a moment. 

“Hmmm?” 

“When misrule takes its place, at the eight corners of the world, when the Brass tower walks and time is reshaped, When the thrice blessed fail and the red tower trembles. When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his throne and the White Tower falls, when the Snow tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding, The world-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the last Dragonborn…” She read aloud, she closed the book again and stuffed it back into her knapsack, sinking out into the bed and nestling her face against the straw pillows, she turned on her side to look at him. He stared up at the ceiling and didn’t look to her. 

“What does it mean?” 

“I’m not sure...It’s probably just gibberish. Scary nonsense.” Raelynn yawned sitting up again, and this time undoing the clip of her robe at the neck. She took it off, and then fixed the loose undershirt. Vilkas looked at her finally, slitting his eyes at her and looking away immediately in case she was thinking of taking off the tights she wore underneath her robe, but she didn’t instead she settled back into the bed. “Vilkas?” 

“Hm?” 

“I never got to give you my condolences at Kodlak’s funeral.” 

“You didn’t have to tell me…” 

“Farkas mentioned you two were just boys when you became Companions.” 

“That is true.”

“And Kodlak must have been like a Father to you.” Raelynn continued sleepily. 

“In a way, he was.” Vilkas paused.

“I promise you...we’ll free him soon. Everything will be alright...We just have to...” She mumbled out in between a soft breath, she turned away and after a moment her chest rose and fell. Vilkas blinked, she hadn’t seemed that tired, but for her to fall asleep so fast, the tiredness was probably piling in her overtime. He looked away at the ceiling. Amidst the grief, another uneasiness settled into his heart. Would it really be that easy? 

Vilkas closed his eyes, and tried to empty his mind, sleep had been a restless affair since he took the blood, but even then the restlessness that had settled into him these last couple of days was much worse. He tried to focus on the soft music of the lyre coming from the tavern outside the door where the bard was still playing to the mumble of late night guests. It began to lull him to sleep. 

He must’ve fallen asleep, because the candles were out when he awoke. Someone was talking, and it had pulled him out of his light sleep. Rae was sitting on her bed with her hands flat on her lap looking down at them. Vilkas squinted trying to adjust his eyes and ward off the sleep that was trying to pull him back. He propped himself up on his elbow and groaned.  

“Sparks? You ok?” He asked. 

“Here in this darkness…..Forgotten...We might remember.” Raelynn’s voice muttered out. Vilkas squinted again with one eye open. “By night, we reclaim, what by day was stolen…Now through him do we see...” 

“Sparks?” He asked again

“..when the world ...listen ...World...remember...cease...to be....” 

“Rae? What are you going on about--” Vilkas sat up now. She was silent for a moment and he sighed in relief. Perhaps she was just suffering through one of her nightmares. He sank back into his bed, but still watched her sitting there. 

“That I might remember…I do...I want to. Yes.” She paused, she turned mechanically and got out of bed. “Yes. I will listen.” 

“Sparks? Where are you going?” He called to her again.

“He calls ...I must answer” She muttered stepping towards the door heavily. 

“Raelynn, wait,” Vilkas tried again, but she did not stop. Vilkas hopped out of his bunk, after her just as she opened the door to the tavern, he went for her hand, she turned around swiftly, her blues stared blankly through him and she pulled away her hand from him but his grip tightened.

“He calls. I must answer” She mumbled out again. 

“What are you talking about? Who?” 

“He…The first...Who I must remember...” Her voice felt as blank as her eyes, Vilkas didn’t loosen his grip even when she pulled away again. 

“You can’t go out there now ...You said you would wait until morning” Vilkas tried but she wouldn’t budge. 

“He cannot wait much longer. Do not stand in our way.” She mumbled out, her voice still dipped in a sleepy tone, but much more menacing, he tried to pull her back, but she pulled away from him, he moved to grab her other hand, but a loud crackle sent him back-first into his bed, and he wasn’t sure what dazed him more, the electricity or his body hitting the wall. She stood at the door tilting her head at him, her blank eyes blinking slowly before she turned away and started out into the door barefoot. 

“Raelynn ...wait” Vilkas growled trying to pull himself up, but he could feel her damned magic still coursing through him, the tingle of sparks in his limbs, he couldn’t move. “Raelynn!” He finally managed out, but she didn’t even glance back at him before leaving the room. 

~ 

_The waves were soft upon the sea, the smell salt made Raelynn feel slightly queasy, but the warmth of the day made her feel happy. She pattered along barefoot on the shore following it, only stopping once at the cold water that lapped at her feet. It was unexpected._

_“Lynn!” She heard her brother’s voice call out. It wasn’t the deep voice of the man he surely was now, it was how she remembered it when he was a boy.  He was much further down the shore, near the rocks enough that she could barely see him. “Lynn! I’m over here!”_

_“I’m going! I’m going!” She retorted and picking up her skirt started towards him. The icy water lapping at her feet. She picked up the pace, her lungs cold as ice, but no matter how much she ran Gael was no closer._

_“I can’t get to you” She exclaimed exasperatedly after more than a moment of running. She breathed out a cold cloud. Why was it so cold?_

_“Yes, You can. I’m right here.” He called out and waved. The water lapped deeper, and she had a faint feeling she was leaving the shore or maybe the water was coming to her. Why? It was at his waist now and she was wading desperately to get to him, the panic settling into her heart deeply._

_“Gael!” She yelled out, just as the water overcame them both. She was floating then. Heaviness set all around, she was suffocating again. She was reaching for the surface, her hand stretching as far as it could to break it, she needed to breathe...she needed--_

_Something snatched her hand, pulled her up out of the surface with ease. She coughed and clung to them in panic, burying her face in tattered blue robes that smelled of books, the most comforting scent in the world to her. She cried ignoring the buzz in her head followed by a hand patting her hair down._

_“I hate these nightmares” She breathed out finally pulling away, The First stood there, watching her through the emotionless mask. She closed her eyes and tried to center herself before looking around. They were back on the shore but Gael was gone and the sky was a grey color. The sea had retreated into calm once more._

_“They’re just illusions mixed with bad memories.” He pointed out, she sniffled and nodded._

_“Then why bother?”_

_“I felt it necessary,” He shrugged_

_“Necessary?” Rae wrinkled her nose_

_“Yes. Necessary.” He added nonchalantly and moved away from the lapping water._

_“What? Why?”_

_“....” He looked over his shoulder at her and then away. He was noting his surroundings. “Last you summoned me, we were not within darkness. And here I am again...in a memory. What does it mean?”_

_“I don’t know.” Raelynn replied but he didn’t seem to mind her answer._

_“It was a place of sadness. One I am familiar with. And now this? I wish to know how it came to be?”_

_“I don’t know.” Raelynn answered again. She rubbed her temples. He turned and walked back to her, offering his hand. Rae hesitated but took it, and he pulled her out of the pitch black water lapping at her feet._

_“You’re uneasy. More so than usual.” He said. He moved away from her once she was out of the water and started down the beach. “It is beyond the grief you hold. What troubles you?”_

_“I…” She bit her lip_

_“I could force you to answer my questions.” He looked down at her by his side as they walked._

_“You could.” She replied,_

_“But you would fight me.”_

_“I would.”_

_“It would hurt.” He noted softly “and I would rather not hurt you more than necessary, Raelynn” The metallic taste of his voice on her name made her swallow a knot in her throat. He kept walking in the never ending beach, and she tried to focus her eyes ahead but there was only sand and pitch black water, with a neverending grey sky overhead. Unnatural. The buzzing in her head returned._

_“It’s not like you’re that averse to hurting me.”_

_“Do not presume I enjoy it.” He replied_

_“Then release me.”_

_“This again? I can’t.” He replied after a moment, it was different, less commanding, it took Raelynn by surprise almost as much as his gloved hand pushing away the loose strands of messy raven hair sticking to her round face. He always seemed annoyed by that small detail. He dropped his hand and continued walking “And I will not. You do not understand the lengths I’ve gone to, to be able to extend my influence. Even as thinly as this. You do not even start to comprehend why I cannot let you go without you aiding me in my search”_

_“No. Not completely.” Raelynn pursed her lips, and grimaced, the buzzing in the back of her head was worsening with his proximity but she continued walking side by side with him._

_“You have found him then, yes?” The First said after several steps. Raelynn chewed her lip and stopped walking gazing at the man in the robes with disbelief. How could he…? “You are easy to read. An open book. Well then? Will you answer willingly?”_

_“Do I have a choice?”_

_“Against my better judgement, I am giving you one.” He stated. Raelynn dropped her shoulders and looked down at her feet on the cold sand. It was almost as icy as snow. He turned in place to face her, and lifted her face with his index finger. She closed her eyes, and she felt the scratch of his thumb run across her lower lip, followed by a soft soothing sensation that washed over the ache in her head. When she opened her eyes, his hand was gone, and the mask was just staring at her expectantly, she reached for it, and like before his hand stopped her. She stretched her fingers out and let their tips dance on the curves of his mask. “It doesn’t have to hurt this much Raelynn.”_

_“I know nothing of you” She began softly “But I know you’re not a monster.” He pulled away so her fingers couldn’t reach his mask._

_“How could you be so sure?” He asked_

_“I don’t know. There is anger and loathing. But also hurt...betrayal … loneliness… so much loneliness. I felt it all somehow. I felt you, when our fingers grazed....” His grip loosened and she moved her hand to his mask, he stopped her again, but this time his grip was unsure. Her fingers pushed the curve of the mask up, a second finger hooking up the fabric from the neck, halfway up his face. He squeezed her hand away and she stopped there, letting the mask rest on his nose. His lips were thin, on a pale skin, with a deep scar running upwards through them._

_“Are you satisfied now?”He questioned,_

_“No. I want to see your eyes. I want to know that what I sensed was right. I want you to look me in the eyes and promise me you will not hurt the Dragonborn...” She pressed trying to move her hand to finish the job but this time he didn’t budge. His lips broke into a faint smile, and he pulled her in confining both her arms. She gasped and squirmed in surprise._

_“You overstep, Mage-girl.” He leaned in, his breath was icy cold, and she gasped again, stopping her breathing this time, her heart pounded deeply. His voice fell into a rough whisper just above her own lips. “Do not make me force it out of you”_

_“Where is the Dragonborn?” She felt every word, like a breath upon her face. She twisted her face into a grimace and the pain exploded in her temples. “Do not fight it, just answer. It doesn’t have to be like this...”_

_“You must not harm him. Please….” She pleaded slitting her eyes in the pain from her head. His lips frowned. “Promise me…!”_

_“Tell me, Raelynn, right now!”_

_“Please…” She cried out, squinting her eyes. The pain felt like it was ripping her brain apart. Her hands began to burst with electricity, he held on to them as though nothing was happening. “Ivarstead!” She huffed out._

_“And where are you right now?” He asked patiently. She breathed out in relief as the pain subsided._

_“I was at the inn...I was waiting until morning...I think. I…No…that doesn’t seem right?”_

_“You have to wake up.” he said suddenly. His mouth twisted downward further. “You must wake up now, Raelynn.”_

_“What?”_

_“Your mind might be here, but elsewhere I fear you may be attempting to carry out my orders.”_

_“How?”_

_“...There is no time for me to explain. You have to wake up.”_

_“I can’t...I don’t know how to just come and go!” He let his grip loosen and she took the opportunity to pull away. “And I will not go until I have your word that you cannot hurt The Dragonborn!”_

_“You stubborn girl! You must leave!” He raised his voice. He pulled her back in with the wrist he still held. She crashed against him, her free hand curling upon his robes into a fist. “You’re in danger, do you not understand that?”_

_“Please…” She cried out wrinkling her face in pain again. “You must not hurt him!” She heard him sigh exasperation, then her chin was pulled up, and his lips pushed upon hers simply, and cleanly, the indent of his scar evident on the smoothness of her lips. Rae gasped, flinching but then freezing as a warm smooth sensation began to invade her, scaring the pain away completely. There was a strong gale, but it wasn’t salt-flavored, and it wasn’t coming from around them, it was like a strong wind was pushing straight through her, so many emotions piled on top of one another, words never spoken, centuries of solitude. She couldn’t process it fast enough. He pulled away._

_“I am sorry, Raelynn.” he whispered, pulling his mask completely down as she opened her eyes. She panicked feeling his grip on her wrist tightened once more, and he began to drag her from the sandy shore into the water again._

_“No! Please!” She yelled throwing her weight completely back but he was much stronger and easily pulled her forward and into the water. “NO!” She let out before she was submerged, she tossed and reached out, her hands clutching at the grey sky desperately, but his hands held her down. Bubbles formed from her lips, and she felt the pressure of black water all around her, suffocating, her lungs filling quickly, she started to sink as her fight died down, her hand held onto his, and she felt a small squeeze before she lost contact with it._

_She was sinking slowly. Cold numbness settled in all her limbs. There was a strong flurry all around and she wasn’t sinking anymore, the sky above was clouded and dark, and she laid in a soft bed of snow that was being kicked up by the gusts. Through slitted eyes, she saw the shadow of huge wings descending, obscuring the lightened sky._

_“Please…Miraak….” She muttered before closing her eyes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really excited about this chapter right now, but at the same time I'm also a little worried!  
> Please any comments/constructive critiques are always welcomed and loved!  
> thank you so much for keeping up with Rae and her craziness.


	15. I'm not Going back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae finds who she's looking for.

The silence felt heavily in the dark room, and Vilkas sat frozen where he had landed on the floor when Raelynn shocked him. This was worse than sleep paralysis. When the magic finally weakened and faded from his limbs he let out a gasping breath and pulled himself up, grabbed his boots and his sword and ran out the door. 

The wind outside grew mercilessly with each step up the mountain. He couldn’t be completely sure this was the direction she’d gone, but then again, where else would she have gone? The faint scent of books and dried flowers lingered in the air, and he followed it hoping he wasn’t wrong. She couldn’t be too far out, he hadn’t been paralyzed that long ...and stumbling around like she was, she couldn’t have gotten far. 

Yet, even after what seemed like an eternity climbing up the steps, there was no sign of her. No footsteps nor fading scents. The wind and snow were erasing her like she never existed in the first place. Vilkas stopped and gasped, his lungs burned with thin cold air, he started again, rounding a slippery staircase up the mountain. The gusts blew snow so thick it was hard to see past his own nose, he groused, deepening a frown but continued on. He stepped out into a small clearing just in time to catch a blurry silhouette ahead of him, lifting into the air and casting a shadow of wings over him. Vilkas’ blood ran cold, he gripped his sword tightly and against better judgement ran into the clearing, stopping short at a small indent towards the foot of the stairs. Limp and quickly being covered in snow. 

“Sparks!” He gasped out, strapping in his sword and moving towards her figure. Vilkas pulled her up into his arms, and her head rolled over his arm.A dry stream of blood ran down the frame of her face and into her jawline. The dark silk of her hair cascading coldly over him. She wasn’t responding. He lifted her tightly against him, quickly, flinching at how cold she was, but then pulling her in tight. Putting his face near hers, she felt the faint warmth of her breath. Relief pulled through him. He let out a breath of cold air and looked up the steps. They were closer to the monastery at this point than to the Inn. He knew because he could see the monastery's tower peeking over the ledge from where he stood. Vilkas looked down at her one more time, pulled her in tighter and started up the stairway.

High Hrothgar stood proud and strong against the violent flurries and cold of the mountain. Vilkas’ hand curled into a fist and he hit the metal door trying not to disturb the mage in his arms. His breath was heavy and lost to the snow, as he leaned on the door to find little reprieve for Raelynn and himself.

No answer came. 

He knocked again, this time harder at which the second door opened. What was he going to say to the Greybeards if Gael was not here? Would they help him? Would they help her? He pursed his lips, and braced for anything, however, a more youthful face than what he imagined the greybeards looked like, greeted him, moving to the side immediately and letting him step in from the torturous cold outside. Vilkas recognized him immediately. 

“Dragonborn…!” 

“Shield Brother?” The man looked surprised, his eyebrows raised over blue eyes that Vilkas now recognized were almost completely the same to Raelynn’s. Those same eyes looked down at what Vilkas was holding in his arms, limp and cold, and they hardened immediately, moving to take the young woman from Vilkas’ arms. Vilkas tensed but let go. “Lynn!” 

Gael moved into the building and Vilkas followed, gasping in the warmth of the indoors, eternally grateful for the black stones that stood tall against the wind. Gael wore simple clothes under leather-studded armor.. His facial hair had grown out slightly, dusting his face in a light beard that was dark in color. His hair was definitely kept slightly longer than the Imperial Soldier style he had when he first showed up in Jorrvaskr. Now, he looked more like a mercenary than soldier. His face was much more angular than Rae’s round countenance and a scar ran up his eyebrow making him look much more weathered and not as naive as his sister. 

“What are you doing here?” Gael asked, moving through the rotunda, with Rae still in his arms. Vilkas followed breathlessly. 

“Your sister--” Vilkas breathed out heavily.

“I see that!” Gael spat back, striding through a long hallway and into a room.  

“She’s been--We’ve been looking for you.” Vilkas spat back following him into the room. “We were going to make to take the pilgrimage in the morning, but she just got up and....” 

“And you couldn’t stop her?” Gael hissed. He was placing her on a small bed in the corner now near the dwindling fireplace. Vilkas clenched his jaw. 

“She...she used her damned magic on me. There was nothing I could do. As soon as I was able to move I took off after her. I found her more than halfway up…” 

Gael turned to him, his blue eyes stern and his lips thin. He opened his mouth but a quiet voice cut him from saying anything. 

“What is going on, Ariese?” A copper haired woman with a freckled face stood at the entrance to the room. Her eyes fell on Vilkas and then on Gael, and then pushed past them both to the girl on the bed. She stepped in. 

“Amata…” Gael started, but the woman ignored him and moved for the bed where he had laid Raelynn.

“We need to get her out of those wet clothes and warm.” She hissed suddenly back at the Dragonborn and at Vilkas.Gael frowned and nodded. “Him too.”

“I’m fine.” Vilkas replied. Gael stood still and Amata waited by the bed, tilting her head at the Dragonborn and glaring. He seemed to get the hint and he nodded for Vilkas to follow out the door. Vilkas looked at the nord woman one more time before turning away and following after Gael down the hallway into another room. 

“Who is she?” Vilkas finally asked. Gael went for a knapsack laying on a chair and started to pick through it in silence. 

“A friend.” Gael replied shortly. “She’s helping me figure out some things…” 

“Dragonborn things?” 

“Yes. Amongst other things.” Gael replied steadily. “Why are you here? I had a nagging feeling she would show up sooner than later, but not like this…” Gael’s nose scrunched. More and more, Vilkas was noticing the similarities between the twins, much like one could notice the similarities between Farkas and he, and still know they were two very different people. Gael shook his head and pinched his nose. Vilkas took the extra set of clothes and watched the Dragonborn take a seat on a chair near the fireplace.

“I couldn’t just let her leave Jorrvaskr alone. I wanted to make sure she found you.” Vilkas replied looking down at the spare clothes in his hands. He put them on the spare chair, while Gael rubbed his face began to change away from the cold clothes sticking to his body like skin.

“Do you know why she was looking for me? What could be so important that she left winterhold…? That she tried to scale this stupid mountain like this?” 

“No. She just appeared in Whiterun one day about a month and a half ago, but it seems important.” Vilkas’ lips thinned. 

“Has it really been that long?”Gael whispered back. He was silent for a few moments, his elbows on his knees, the man scrunched over and hid his face in his hands, rubbing his face for a few moments and then letting out a breath. He was built like a soldier, and though he had Raelynn’s same ocean eyes, he was much taller, and the air about him was of a much more serious and calm nature than his jittery sister. 

“I don’t think she knew what she was doing.” Vilkas tried. Gael looked up at him questioning. “She seemed out of it, when she got up. Like she was...sleep walking. She kept muttering something strange. Look. I don’t know. All I know is that maybe if she got to see you…” 

“Gods damn you Lynn….” Gael finally huffed out and shook his head. “No. I can’t see her. I need you to take her back to Winterhold.” Gael finally said. Vilkas poked his head through the shirt and patted it down. Warm clothes felt nice. 

“What makes you think she’s going to want to do that? She doesn’t listen. She’s a stubborn fool.” Vilkas retorted running a hand through his damp hair. “In fact, she always does the opposite of what I ask. She’s been nothing but trouble and a pain in my ass.”

“Sounds about right.” Gael broke a small smile but it faded almost immediately.  

“She’s been through alot looking for you. The least you could do is talk to her when she wakes up.” Vilkas said gathering his damp cold clothes, he took a seat in the spare chair and looked straight at his shield-brother.

“I can’t. Because you know she’ll want to stay...” Gael shook his head but still didn’t look at Vilkas and was rather focused on the fire. 

“Why not? The Silverhand has been dealt with if that is what you’re worried about--

“No. It’s not about that.” Gael said finally turning back. Vilkas got the impression his shield brother was dancing around the subject. So he turned his eyes to the fireplace as well. 

“Kodlak passed.” Vilkas finally said. Gael sighed and lowered his eyes. “Raelynn grew close to him in the time she was with us. She thinks theres still a way to free his soul. We know he spoke to you about this. But we need the fragments of Wuuthrad you gathered. And the witches’ heads. She wants to do this. I don’t think she’ll go just go back to Winterhold...”

“Kodlak....” Gael said thoughtfully. “I’m sorry…” 

“Where were you?” Vilkas’ voice lowered. Gael looked up with stern blue eyes. “Farkas said you just ran off with an innkeeper ...The silver hand attacked us...attacked your sister! They murdered Kodlak...They would have murdered her too..” 

“I…” Gael breathed in. “I should have been there. I’m sorry. I was dealing with the Dragons…”

“What do you mean?” 

“Their return and my appearance as dragonborn is no coincidence. That is all I can tell you right now.” 

Vilkas nodded. Silence brewed between the two. 

“If you give me your word to keep Raelynn safe I won’t protest if she goes to free Kodlak’s spirit.” Gael finally said. “Then afterwards she must return to Winterhold…” 

“She’s not going to stop looking for you until she finds you....” 

“You  **_must_ ** convince her to stop. Convince her to go back to Winterhold.” 

“I don’t understand why you can’t convince her of this yourself?” Vilkas shot back. Gael’s hand turned into a fist over his lap, and he breathed in. 

“She can’t see me.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m supposed to be dead.” Gael’s voice slipped out. Vilkas snapped his eyes back at the Dragonborn who leaned forward on his elbows. “The Empire should have sent my family a letter to Solitude telling them I perished in battle. Take her there. Let her speak with our Mother. Let her visit my grave and grieve. Convince her. That will stop her...” 

“What do you mean, dead? She’s convinced the Dragonborn is her brother!” Vilkas leaned in. “She has dreams. She knows it's you--somehow--I don’t know how! But she knows!” 

“Dreams aren’t real. She doesn’t know for sure.” Gael replied coldly. “She could be mistaken. Make her doubt...Raelynn’s always had her head in the clouds...”

“She won’t. She somehow tracked you down all the way from Winterhold down into Helgen and then into Whiterun. She says she can see you sometimes...and she’s scared for you! Do you really think she’s lying about these dreams? About finding you? You really want me to lie to her? To take her back to Winterhold? Why?” Vilkas frowned.

“There are many reasons.” Gael stopped and his eyes settled into Vilkas’ eyes “Some I could explain easily. Others...not so much.” 

“You’re not making any sense.” Vilkas huffed back

Gael switched his eyes back and forth between his shield brother and the fire and rubbed his hands together. 

“Because…” 

“Because the dragons aren’t going to put themselves in the ground.” The woman from before interrupted stepping into the room silently. She rounded the chair Gael was sitting on and placed a hand on the backrest. Now that Vilkas saw her in the light of the fireplace he noticed the signature blue of her clothes. His confusion only rose. Her emerald eyes zeroed on Vilkas, seemingly dissecting him, but the man didn’t look away. “And because Ulfric Stormcloak isn’t going to assassinate himself,” 

“What?”  

“Amata…” Gael sighed softly looking at her and shaking his head. 

“If she’s stubborn enough to find you here, she’ll be stubborn enough to get in our way, later.” Amata replied, “You don’t have to tell her everything. Speak to her if it will calm her. Then send her away on some excuse…” 

“She’s not a child.” Vilkas spat out suddenly. “She needs your help too…!” 

“The world needs him more.” Amata replied back.

“Enough!” Gael stood. His eyes hardened on the nord woman standing behind him and then upon “I will speak to her. But I’ve already told you...I want her to return to Winterhold as soon as whatever is going on with Jorravskr is resolved.” Gael turned to leave the room. 

“Gael!” Amata’s voice called to him. He turned back and looked at her. “Don’t forget you also have a duty to the Empire....”

~

_  Everything hurt. Rae squinted. Her breath made fragile clouds in front of her face. She felt so very cold. Her limbs didn’t hurt, they just felt numb. Sitting up was a feat and it ruined the soft blanket of snow that had settled over her. Her eyes burned, and there was something thick and warm drying down the side of her round face. She touched it, feeling the sting of her cold fingers on her forehead. They came back red.  _

_ “Owww…” She muttered pursing her lips. Another dream? Another Memory? She was so tired of them. She looked ahead, feeling the sudden whisper from the wind. In front of her a grey-blue stone wall stood strong against the violent gusts of snow. It held the whispers.  _

_ “Whispers? That doesn’t make sense.” Raelynn muttered, wiping the blood on her fingers onto her shirt.  The whispers didn’t leave her. Shut up. They were...chanting. Surrounding her. They were making the world spin and only grew louder. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. They wanted her to come closer... _

_ She’d felt something like this before...in a dream? With...Miraak…? Who was Miraak? Her head hurt more.  _

_ The whispers quieted in her head, and she rubbed her forehead again.  Wake up. But nothing happened. The world grew silent again except for the whistle of the wind whipping her bare arms.  _

_ Then the ground began to shake. Rae turned around, a little too fast, and fell back from the shock as the blurry silhouette of a dragon lowered itself into the ground in front of her. She felt a knot of a scream in her throat but she couldn’t even blink. Her heart pumped faster and she clutched at the snow, pushing herself backward into the damned wall. The whispers grew louder and louder, a blue glowing gust enveloped her as the Dragon moved forward, cornering her against the wall until her back pressed so hard against it she could have become part of it.  _

_ His eyes shone a dull yellow as he perched on the ground leaning on tattered silver-brown colored wings. He observed her closely, moving his head towards her but stopping when she lifted her hands in front of her and shut her eyes. This was just a nightmare. _

_ The whispers chanted loudly in her ear. She felt so many things at once and then none at all, that it left her lightheaded. She breathed out, trembling in fear and cold, her hands still in front of her.  The chants stopped. She lowered her hands and looked at the old Dragon, staring straight at her but not moving an inch.  _

_ “This is….just a nightmare.” Raelynn shook her head. It stung. She pressed her hands on her head. She felt so lightheaded. The dragon said nothing, instead he arched back his neck and lifted his wings, gave them a brief flap. A bright gust blew through Raelynn, pushing her into the snow on her hands. He was up in the air and landing swiftly behind her, on top of the wall. She turned on the wall, pushing herself away from it,  just in time to see his neck snap forward, fire, live and red shot over her head past her painting a rune into the scorched snow. It called to her. Whispering. Chanting. Raelynn tried to get up and move away, but she felt like she was going to throw up. Warmth invaded her thoroughly. DON’T. But it was too late:  _

_ YOL.  _

_ Fire. Clean and bright from her mouth, quickly extinguished by the cold snow that was already being replenished. Raelynn breathed hard shaking her head, but just as with puke, she felt instantly better. What in oblivion was happening!? Wake. Up. Wake. Up. Wake. Up.  _

_ The Dragon remained perched on the wall behind her, his dull eyes looking straight at her as she held her stomach and then rolled onto her back. A renewed feeling of weakness invading her.  _

_ “Wake up….” This was just another nightmare…. _

_ “Krosis. I didn't mean to startle you, but I had to make sure that what I had sensed was not incorrect” It spoke. It’s voice was deep and commanding, with a tint of gentleness she hadn’t expected. Raelynn sat up slowly. Her eyes kept themselves on him. And she shivered from the permeating cold. “I am Paarthurnax. Master of the Greybeards…”  _

_ ~ _

Raelynn jerked awake. She wasn’t  as cold, and heavy furs kept her in place. A soft fireplace was dying near her but it still gave off a nice amount of warmth. Cold, black stones made the walls, and she steadied her breathing. She didn’t recognize this place. Her first instinct was to touch her head, but the stream of blood that had caked her face was no longer there. Or had she dreamt that? She let out a breath, and closed her eyes momentarily, before moving her head to the side. It seemed, her shirt was also very dry...and warm. 

There was a chair next to the bed, where a tall man she almost didn’t recognize was sitting up, yawning, with his arms crossed. His legs stretched out almost under her bed from where he sat lazily. His hair was still the same whirlwind mess from when they were younger, his face had the same irritated look. 

“Gael….” Her voice trembled, and she pushed herself off of the bed, stumbling forward, but he moved quickly and caught her, and brought her up. Her arms came around his neck and she hugged him tightly. 

“Lynn!” Gael moved hugging his sister tightly. 

“You stupid moron!” She sobbed out. He laughed and pulled away, looked down at her, in the long nightgown Amata had supplied and sucked in a laugh. 

“Is that how you’re going to greet me after five years?” He snickered “Well I’m glad to see you too. Sit down” He said helping her down on the bed. She let go and wiped her eyes. 

“I thought….I thought…” She sniffled and shook her head, her blue eyes found his. “This isn’t a dream right?” She pinched herself harshly, and she shook her head again and found his face with her eyes, she let them search through it frantically. “I thought you were dead!” 

“I know….” 

“Mother said...She kept dancing around it...But I knew what she wanted to say…” Rae’s throat knotted up. Gael moved forward and hugged her tightly. 

“I know Lynn…” He said pulling away again. He looked away from her searching eyes. “I’m sorry. There’s a lot of things I wish I could explain to you. A lot has happened. A Lot of  _ unexpected _ things…” Gael whispered 

“Yes. Like you being Dragonborn. Last I checked, neither of our parents had scales and wings…” Raelynn tilted her head. She reached for his eyebrow touched the scar that ran through it down the side of his face. “You look stupid with that scar and beard.” 

“Yeah well ...you’re still cross-eyed.” 

“I am not.” Raelynn hissed, and it drew a chuckle from him. They fell silent. “Gael…” 

“Lynn...Listen to me, please.” Gael started. “I need you to promise me something.” 

“You can’t tell anyone I’m alive. Not Mother. Not anyone else home. In fact, you shouldn’t tell anyone the Dragonborn is your brother…” 

“It’s a little too late for that. Besides...people say we look alike.” Rae retorted. 

“We don’t. I’m not cross eyed--Ow!” A brief spark caught him on the shoulder and he flinched. Raelynn smiled smugly and a laugh broke his seriousness. “Still with the lightning?” 

“I’m rather good at it…” She started looking at her hands. His smile faded. 

“Lynn…I’m serious. I need you to go back to Winterhold.” 

“What? Why?!” 

“Apart from the obvious dangers that come with being associated with me right now, I can’t  really explain it...ever since everything went to shit in Helgen I’ve had an awful feeling. Something heavy overshadowing me. I can’t explain it...I just know ok? And I need you to trust me. I need you to do what you’re going to do with Kodlak and then, I need you to go back to Winterhold…” 

“What? Kodlak, you know?” 

“I spoke with Vilkas.” 

“Sword-boy told you…?” 

“Yes. He brought you here after you ran off...” Gael smiled. 

“I...I don’t remember that.” Rae touched her head again. 

“He told me you intend to try to free Kodlak’s soul from Hircine’s curse. I’d rather you not, but I know you…and I know this is important. I couldn’t keep my word to Kodlak...” 

“I’m not going back to Winterhold yet if that’s what you’re asking. I stole a damned horse to find you. They’ll probably hang me off the side of the college if they don’t throw me in the dungeon…” Raelynn muttered, her head began to throb. She reached for it squinting. 

“You need to rest.” Gael said pushing her back into bed. 

“No….I need to...I need to tell you something…” She muttered out though he was pushing her back against the bedrest. She let him and he pulled the covers over her and took a seat next to her on the bed. 

“You can tell me when you get some rest.” Gael sighed

“No. It’s important...agh...I…” She reached for her head and shook it. She glanced at him and squinted. “I...I need you to come to Solstheim with me.” 

“What? Solstheim?” Gael moved back and his eyes settled on Raelynn, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“Yes.” Raelynn smiled softly. “I need you to come with me.” 

“Why?” 

“I…I don’t know…” Raelynn shook her head. The headache was getting worse. “It’s important Gael…” Gael’s eyes narrowed. 

“Raelynn...look at me.” His voice had dipped low. “Why do you want me to go to Solstheim? Who have you been talking to?” 

“What? Nobody! I just...I just know ok? Everything will be resolved if we go there.” Rae insisted. Gael shook his head. He got up from the edge of the bed and moved towards a small table. He picked something up and brought it back. 

“Who put you up to that? Have these people threatened you?!” He hissed.

“What? No!” Rae replied obviously confused.  “What is thi--” Raelynn stopped. A curved white mask made of bone sat on her lap. It was figure she understood, one that felt so familiar. She ran her fingers up it’s side and her head throbbed harder, her heart beat faster. There was something on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t...bring it back. 

“When we arrived in Ivarstead yesterday,  we were attacked by these people wearing these masks. What have they told you?” 

“I don’t...I haven’t spoken to anyone!” Rae replied. 

“Raelynn you have to tell me the truth. These are people that want to hurt the Dragonborn. One of them had a written receipt for fare to Solstheim on a ship from Windhelm…

“What…?” 

“Lynn! You have to tell me if someone is threatening you…This was what I was afraid of!” 

“Nobody is threatening me!” Raelynn shot back. SHe pointed at the mask. “I don’t know what this is. All I know is that I can’t sleep. I wake up feeling like I’m missing something and the only thing I know is that I have to find the Dragonborn because he can put a stop to it. It just so happens that you are the dragonborn and that you have to come to Solstheim with me! These Dreams...these Nightmares won’t stop unless ...!”

“You’re going back to Winterhold.” 

“What? No!” 

“You are! Don’t you get it? You’re in danger!” 

“No I’m not!” 

“Yes you are!” 

“You’re acting just like Father!” Raelynn yelled kicking her feet off the bed again and standing up. 

“Father knew what was best for you!” 

“What? Locking me away in that College so I wouldn’t hurt anyone else?! Even though they hurt me back!” Raelynn yelled back. Gael sucked in a breath, his lips pursed and his fists curled by his side. “You know what they did, and you know it was an accident! You were there! If I hadn’t done anything they would’ve---None of you ever asked me if that’s what I wanted…!”

“What! You don’t like the college!?” 

“I do! But I wanted more goddamnit…I wanted to see the world!”

“You can do whatever you want once you learn how to control yourself!” Gael barked. “It’s for your own good Lynn…” 

“I’m not going back to Winterhold. I don’t care what you say…” Raelynn choked out, lifting a finger at him. Her face felt hot, and her eyes stung. 

“You’re going back to Winterhold if I have to haul you there myself!” Gael yelled back. “At least until this...this...whole dragon mess is resolved and until you get a bit of common sense in your thick skull! And that’s the end of it!” 

“Gael! Stop.” Amata’s voice cut through the argument before Raelynn had anything to say. The blue-cloaked woman stood at the doorway with Vilkas lingering behind. Rae’s eyes stung. She pushed past Gael towards the door and past the two standing there. Gael pinched his nose. 

“Lynn…” He tried after her, but Amata’s hands stopped him. 

“I’m just...trying to keep her safe.” 

Vilkas frowned and shook his head. Let out a breath and started out towards the hallway where he’d seen Sparks head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is all over the place, and I"m very very very sorry I hadn't updated until now. Recent events in my have spiked my anxiety bad and that doesn't help my writing at all. RL kicking my ass again, I know lol
> 
> Anywho! I know it's super late! I'm going to try to post every friday from now on and try not to be super spacey. I'm still not completely sure about this chapter but whatevs. I hope it's not that bad! YOLO! :) Hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading!


	16. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chapter full of revelations.

“If I didn’t want to speak to her, it was for this very reason.” Gael huffed out. He took a seat back at his chair and rubbed his face. He knew Amata was pacing around carefully, around the chair and then finally took a seat on the edge of the bed in front of him. “She’s always been a stubborn fool. Never listens. I knew she hadn’t forgiven me yet…” 

“You weren’t the one that sent her away.” Amata’s soft voice came. Her hand was on her chin. Gael laughed and shook his head. 

“It was my fault she…” He trailed off and rubbed his face. “There’s no use. What’s done is done. I thought it would be the best for her back then. I still do. She’d be around others like her...with her gifts. She’d be away from all those people that pushed her around, stared at her like she was an oddity. When it was finally brought up, I could’ve objected and I didn’t.”  

“Then there’s nothing to regret.” Amata started. “You did what you thought best for her.”  

“She seems troubled. She went pale when she saw that mask. I can’t shake the feeling that those bastards are involved in her coming here…Maybe I should go to Solstheim with her. Figure this all out.” 

“She denied knowing any of that. Why would she lie to you about that? Regardless, there are much more important matters at hand than this.” 

“She thinks she’s strong. But she seems much less calm than when she left for Winterhold…” Gael sighed. “Back then she didn’t even talk back. She just...maybe she is strong...but not against this.” Gael sighed out. Amata was silent for a moment while Gael rubbed his face again and then looked up. “Sometimes I wish you would’ve ended me on that battlefield…” 

“Really? And then what?” Amata replied coolly. “Imagine that? The Dragonborn perishes without discovering who he is. Who could save us all from the Dragon threat? Besides, don’t forget you have a job to finish. Without Ulfric, the stormcloaks crumble. This war is over. There were some setbacks, I will admit, and this dragon threat was unexpected, but I think it’s all working out. We just have to keep going.” 

“Setbacks?” Gael shook his head. “We almost died Amata...the Empire should have told us about that Ambush! I still think it’s pretty ballsy of them to send us to do this, and then turn a blind eye when we’re on a line to their chopping block. By the nine, we’re their own soldiers!” 

“No. We’re not. You knew that when you took my hand.” Amata replied much more quietly. “We don’t exist to the Empire, and we never will. Even if we succeed in our mission. If you wanted fame and glory, you should have stayed dead in that field.” 

Gael sighed deeply and shook his head. 

“Your sister will be fine in your absence.” Amata concluded after a moment. “At the very worst, she’ll have to sit tight in Winterhold…I doubt that man that brought her here will let her out of his sight...” 

“What are you saying?” Gael perked up scrunching his eyebrows. 

“You didn’t see how he ran after her…?” Amata chuckled in light of Gael’s glare. She rolled her eyes. “In any case, Morning approaches and the road to Solitude is long. Say your goodbyes to her for now. Your duty calls.” Amata nodded and got up from the bed. She slinked past Gael who’s eyes followed the woman’s movements. 

“Amata…” Gael called out before she reached the doorway. 

“What?” 

“Out of all the dying soldiers in the field, why me?” 

The woman grinned deviously and shook her head with a shrug of her shoulders, before walking out. 

~ 

“Are you really that hellbent on catching your death out in the cold?” Vilkas huffed out, he grabbed at Rae’s arm and pulled her back from the big iron door and let go immediately. The whipping noise of the wind outside made him shiver. He didn’t want to pursue the idea of going out there for the time being, even if the weak sunlight was starting to filter through the windows. It had been a rough night. 

Rae turned around and wiped at her face with the back of her hand. She still held onto the strange white mask. 

“I think your brother is just worried about you. There’s a lot going on.” Vilkas tried. The mage’s eyes looked at the mask in her hand and then back at Vilkas. She shook her head and tried to take in a deep breath. She opened her mouth but she felt like she couldn’t breath. Everything around her was overwhelming. She tightened her hand around the mask tighter, and the wetness around her eyes worsened. 

Vilkas frowned, and pulled her in after a moment. She stepped towards him burying her face in his chest. The wetness in her eyes transferring to his shirt. He tensed up. He felt his blood beginning to boil but it was easier to ignore it with the warmth that came from her body. He hadn’t realized how cold he had been. The scent of dried flowers and old book pages lingered in her hair. He hadn’t been wrong to assume that was her trail. He patted her hair down. 

“He doesn’t understand…” She muttered out finally, pulling away just enough that she could see the man she was hugging. Her cheeks brightened then. “I’m sorry...I know I’ve been nothing but trouble and you saved me...again. I’m so sorry, Vilkas.” He felt his face grow hot at the mention of his name with her voice. She rarely called him by name. 

Footsteps echoed behind them, pulling away any thoughts that might have been lurking in the back of his head. Raelynn pulled away further and Vilkas turned around to find Gael, straightening up behind them. His expression was sternly on Vilkas observing him for a moment before softening upon their return to Raelynn. She wiped her tears away. 

“I have to leave, Lynn” He started quietly. “I came to say Goodbye. I know you’re probably still mad, but I won’t apologize for trying to protect you.” 

“I don’t need to be protected. Let me help you. I’ll go with you.” Rae started moving forward

“No.” His voice was levelled. Raelynn stepped back. “You’re not a little girl anymore. Just by looking at you, I can tell you’ve gotten stronger from when we were younger. But it’s not enough to keep you safe from the dangers I’m dealing with. Not from Dragons. Not from ...this.” He reached for the mask she was clutching and pulled it from her hands. “These people...they threatened me. Tried to kill me. If they find out I have a sister, a mother...I don’t want whatever this is to hurt you. And until I know more about the Dragons, I can’t risk putting you in danger.  Please understand.” He sighed. “I can’t be at peace with myself if I can’t even keep you safe. Please return to Winterhold as soon as the business with Kodlak is done.” 

Disappointment painted Rae’s features. 

“And where will you go?” 

“For right now, Solitude.” Gael clenched his jaw. He looked away and then back at his sister. “Lynn, promise me….” 

“I’m not going back to Winterhold yet.” 

“I can’t force you to go back but I’d have more peace of mind knowing you’re safe. If not Winterhold then go back home to Solitude. Just...stay somewhere away from...from all this.” 

“Fine.” Raelynn shifted her eyes away. Gael let out a sigh of relief. 

“Mother. She thinks I’m dead. If you don’t intend on returning to the College, then at least check on her for us?” 

“You’re the one going to Solitude.” Rae shot back, and then breathed out in defeat and nodded after Gael’s stern gaze reminded her. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. At least she’ll know she hasn’t lost both her children to this world’s madness.”

Rae nodded again. Gael patted her shoulder and then brought her in. She hugged him as tightly as he hugged her and then he let go, pulling along with him the mask she’d been clutching tightly this entire time. She reached out for it and pulled it back. 

“Can I have this?” 

“Why….?” 

“It’s strange-looking...I’ll hang it in my room in Winterhold. Please.” She replied carefully. Gael sighed and nodded. 

“I love ya Lynn. You’re still a bloody weirdo.” He smiled, “Take care of yourself and…” He paused, “Be careful who you trust. Be careful of who you speak with...not everyone means well. And be careful who you tell about me...it’s safer if you’re brother died.” 

Rae nodded slowly. Her brother hugged her again and she felt the knot tighten in her throat. 

“Take care of yourself Gael…” 

“I will. We’ll talk about this when it’s all over…” Gael smiled. Rae didn’t. She furrowed her eyebrows again and scrunched her nose. 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” Gael smiled back gently. “Could I have a word with you?” Gael nodded at Vilkas. Vilkas seemed a little confused but nodded, first at Rae and then at Gael, and they both set off down the corridor. She gazed at them for a long time. She wanted to stop Gael from leaving. To reach for him, so desperately as though he was the one falling into the abyss of water and not her. She needed to pull him out of all this but all she could do was watch. Would she ever see him again? Of course...she was just scared.

They turned the hallway out of her sight, and Raelynn breathed out, the mask still clutched tightly in her hands. She turned to step towards the room where she had awoken but stopped mid-step as a tall man with a long grey beard in a heavy faded robe stood there before her. 

A Greybeard.

“I’m sorry...for the intrusion” She muttered out. She had heard stories of them from her Father, way back when. Stories she barely remembered. The Greybeard smiled gently, but his eyes examined her.  

“That a Dragonborn appeared, in this moment, at the turning of the age, perhaps, should’ve been expected.” He started, his voice was rather controlled, an even tone that made Raelynn perk up. Just the fact that he spoke. The man unclenched his hands in front of him, a set of two faded grey eyes behind wrinkles locked upon Raelynn, it made her swallow. “But two? That is completely unexpected. Greetings, I am Master Arngeir. I speak for the Greybeards.” 

Raelynn felt her stomach churn. She shook her head at the man and tried to catch her breath. 

“You’re mistaken…” She paused unsure, and then let out a breathless sigh.

“Our Master Paarthurnax is quite sure of this. Though he has indicated to us that we must make sure whether or not you also have the gift. Come young one, you must follow me.”

“It was just a nightmare...” Raelynn muttered out. The Greybeard had turned and was leading the way out towards the Rotunda. Raelynn shook her head and followed him meekly. She stepped down a set of stairs after a moment of following him. Three others in the same purple-grey robes stood in a circle, all with their eyes upon her. Master Arngeir stepped forth. 

“Show us. Let us taste of your voice.” 

“This is a misunderstanding...I…I’m not” Rae tried, all of their eyes were on her. She swallowed and shook her face. “I don’t even know what I”m supposed to be doing here. What you expect from...me…is...not possible.” 

“Do not be afraid,” Arngeir replied. “Simply shout at us. Channel your thoughts...I believe Master Paarthurnax has shown you a word. Fire. Feel it run through your veins...” 

“Paarthurnax?” Raelynn replied, swallowing again. She closed her eyes momentarily, and a nervous smiled appeared. The dragon from her dream...that was just a dream right? Everything seemed so muddled. He had told her about fire. No. Not told, He had made her understand fire, the burn and passion of it. A warm sensation grew within her, burning through her, it was bottled up in the back of her throat, trapped there. This was a mistake. A grave one. She shook her head. 

Rae’s eyes opened. She looked directly at the ground in front of her. She shook her head again. The sensation was akin to throwing up after a night of drinking at the tavern in Winterhold. Unpleasant, with a promise of making her feel better once it was out of her. She shook her head trying to hold it back. She wanted nothing but to tell them that this was a misunderstanding, instead.... 

YOL! 

Fire came clean from her, erupted in the black stones and faded out after a few seconds with nothing else to feed it. It was a brighter fire than any she could summon with her hands. Raelynn stepped back in shock. The Greybeards looked amongst one another, until the fire was completely gone none of them looked phased. Raelynn felt her heart accelerate, her warm breathing along with it. Panic began to grow in her chest. 

“So it is true…” Arngeir finally spoke casting a glance amongst the other greybeards. “Another Dragonborn appears…” 

“I….” Raelynn shook her head at them. “No. This is a mistake.” 

“It is not. You truly have the gift. Therefore, just as your brother and as all others before him, we welcome you to High Hrothgar.” 

“I….” Raelynn felt the air leaving her lungs. She felt faint. She reached her hand to her head and bit her lower lip. 

“Calm yourself, Dragonborn” Arngeir called to her, stepping forward as she wobbled. “You must rest.” 

“I am not….that.” Raelynn snapped “What does any of this even mean?” Raelynn shook her head, stepping back, away from the circle. Arngeir stepped forward to help her.  

“That is not for us to say.” Arngeir replied calmly. “You must find that meaning yourself. Though we will guide you.” 

“It can’t be. My brother? Maybe. But me?” She shook her head. He helped her down on one of the steps. Her hands shot to her head. She felt the old man sitting next to her. The others started to retreat into the silent halls of High Hrothgar. 

“Neither your brother, nor you are the first. There have been many of the Dragon blood since Akatosh first bestowed that gift upon mortalkind. That he was the only one of this age, was not ours to know. And now, we know there is another. You.” 

“It doesn’t make sense.” 

“Perhaps it doesn’t, but thinking more about it, that you are siblings makes it easier to understand.” 

Raelynn breathed out and halved her eyelids. She tried to count the stones ahead of her. Everything felt so heavy on her suddenly and she couldn’t breath. She wasn’t trying to. 

“We’re twins.” She accepted and shook her head. “But that doesn’t...that shouldn’t mean…” 

“You are of the same blood. Are you not?” Arngeir elaborated, he gazed at the disheveled woman momentarily and nodded. “That you were born in the same instance perhaps makes that connection stronger....Come. You are in a state of surprise. Walk with me and we shall speak more calmly of this.” 

Rae shook her head at him, but he still helped her up, offering his hand. Raelynn looked at it momentarily before taking it. He lead her back away from the rotunda, into the hallway in silence, as though he was letting it sink into her mind. When they finally reached the room in which she had awoken he lead her to the bed and sat her there, before moving towards the chair. She looked on silently, her hands rubbing her fingers over the mask. 

“You were given this gift by the Gods for a reason. It is up to you to figure out how to best use it. We can teach our Way if you wish, just as we’ve taught your sibling.” Arngeir took a seat on the chair where Gael had been waiting for her to awake. Raelynn continued fidgeting, focusing on the curves of the bone-carved mask. Why was it so familiar….? 

“Being Dragonborn...what does it mean?” She finally asked quietly 

“I don’t think I could answer that very clearly.” Arngeir replied calmly. 

“Then what is a Dragonborn?” Raelynn tried. The old man sighed. 

“Dragons have the inborn ability to learn and project their voice. They also absorb the power of their slain brethren. Few mortals are born with similar abilities. Whether a gift or a curse, that is debatable. What you have already learned, takes even the most gifted years to achieve. Your voice is your power. It is a gift from Kynareth herself. Some even believe that Dragonborn are sent into the world by the Gods at times of great need. Perhaps we could discuss that later, when you’re fully rested and not as anxious.” 

Raelynn’s fingers touched her throat. She swallowed. Nothing felt different. 

“My voice…?” 

“You don’t understand the dragon language the same way everyone else does. You understand it as Dragons would.” Arngeir explained. “Dragons have always been able to shout. Language is intrinsic to their very being. The dragon speech is in your blood. It calls to you, and you learn it without effort. It is the same with your brother.” 

Raelynn opened her mouth but the heavy footsteps from down the hall interrupted her train of thought. Master Arngeir stood from his chair. 

“You and your companion are welcome to rest here until you are ready. Seek me and I shall teach you more.” He bowed and started away, passing Vilkas on his way in who’s eyes widened as the Greybeard bowed to him as well. Vilkas bowed deeply and then continued into the room. Looking behind him. 

“Was that…?” He asked once the old man was out of sight down the hall. 

“A Greybeard in the flesh? Yes.” 

“Gods….This is incredible. Farkas will be jealous, certainly!” He smiled softly, before taking a seat where Master Arngeir had sat. He set down a heavy looking sack. “The heads….and the Fragments” He explained. 

“Is that what my brother needed you for?” 

“Yes.” Vilkas stated, though Raelynn couldn’t help but notice the dust of pink settling under the stubble that was creeping up his jawline and into his cheek. She pulled her legs up into the bed and brought them in, with a sigh. She wasn’t going to push it. Not right now. She felt so spent. 

“He left didn’t he?” 

“Yes.” Vilkas glanced down the hallway again and then back at Raelynn. “What did the Greybeard want with you?” 

Raelynn looked at him and shifted her eyes. 

“Nothing. He was curious as to who I was and why I was here.” 

“I see.” Vilkas replied not too convinced, but he also didn’t push it. He leaned back on the chair and crossed his arms. “Get some sleep Sparks…” 

“And you?” 

“I’ll keep an eye on you so you don’t go sleep walking off the mountain again.” 

“I don’t…” 

“I know.” He started. She gripped at the mask again and looked at it. She thought about what Master Arngeir had said to her. _Neither you nor your brother are the First. Of course we’re not….I know The…._ Her eyes widened suddenly. She turned to Vilkas and almost stood up from bed, causing him to sit up where he was slumping in the chair.  

“What is it?” 

“The First….” She breathed out “He’s the man in the robes...the man in my dreams….He…” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“He…” She trailed off, squinting at the pain erupting in her forehead. Her leg felt something hard against it as she moved to the edge of the bed. The mask. She picked it up and touched the curve of it. She felt her face grow hot. The faint trace of a memory, thin lips smiling. Her fingertips went to her lips. It was just a dream but it felt like a memory of something meaningful, yet it was so blurry and distant. It was still real enough to make her face grow hot and red. 

“Sparks?” 

“He...” She blinked her eyes trying to ward away the dull ache. “I..I have to go to Solstheim.” 

She was standing but Vilkas sat her back down by the shoulders. 

“No. You need to get some rest. And then we can get out of here. Go get our stuff if it hasn’t been stolen yet. And head back to Jorrvaskr.” 

She looked at him as though she didn’t understand what he was saying, or it was going in one ear and out the other. 

“You’re...You’re right...I need to sleep.” She said thoughtfully sitting back down. She sunk into the bed. She felt tired, that was for sure, it wouldn’t be hard to sleep. Would it be hard to find him? Who was he...the First…? 

Vilkas cocked an eyebrow. She was listening to him? He watched her sink down and go quiet, her hand clutching at that weird bone mask Gael gave her. His own tiredness was starting to get the better of him, but he wasn’t going to give up until she was sound asleep. 

Vilkas counted the gaps between the big black stones that made up the floor. He thought about how tired he was, how he longed to return to Jorrvaskr. He glanced at the mage that had closed her eyes, her breathing evening out finally. He watched her momentarily, and shook his head catching himself staring at her a moment too long. What was he doing? His conversation with Gael just a moment ago came straight to the surface of his mind. 

 _“Lynn’s dangerous Vilkas. You’re better off keeping a distance from her. Do what you have to do for Kodlak and then drag her back to Winterhold.” S_ _“Dangerous?”_

_“Emotions and Magic don’t mix well. She wasn’t meant for…”_

_“You’re mistaken. I don’t see her in that light. She is as any new blood in our ranks”_

_“Vilkas,” Gael laughed. “You’re my shield brother and I respect you. But she is my sister. I don’t want her getting hurt. And trust me when I say, you don’t want that either.”_

_“I don’t understand. You expect her to be devoid of any emotion? To be isolated? Is that why she was sent away? I don’t see her as such but is that really it? You don’t want her getting close to anyone? You treat her as though she’s in danger but then also say she’s the danger?”_

_“She was sent away because she’s a danger to herself and those around her.” Gael explained calmly. He lowered his eyes. “Lynn crippled our Father. It was an accident...but it happened. Our father wouldn’t have ever sent her away. He adored her. She was just a child, but she would have killed someone if he hadn’t gotten in the way. It was either the College or an angry crowd of neighbors. All I’m saying is that it’s better if you keep yourself distant from her in every way possible. Finish this Jorrvaskr business and then let her go back to Winterhold. And whatever is going through your head when you see her, don’t. It's for the best."_

_"I assure you, it's nothing like that. I've come to see her as I would see Ria or Aela. Nothing more."_

_"Good. Then I have nothing to worry about. I just wanted to make sure it was clear. Take care Shield Brother”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't post last friday but here it is! I'm getting better at posting. I know this chapter might be a little all over the place and a little crammed with stuff. Sorry about that.  
> Next one might be fluffier. 
> 
> have some terrible things planned lol. Wait did I say terrible...don't mind me. XDD Thank you all for reading! <3


	17. Not A Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter of Fluff.  
> Gael reflects on some things. Vilkas and Rae talk.

The world was warmer in the world of mere men, than up in the reaches of High Hrothgar. Even with the cool breeze from the river, the sun still managed a few warming rays through the foliage. The steady clopping from the horses blended in well with the chirping from the trees and the rustle of the water over rocks. 

It still made Gael uneasy. The last time he had been so aware of the sound of hooves was on the cart to Helgen.  _ Clop. Clop. Clop.  _ His head hurt as he squinted awake, jerking backwards when the first thing he saw was a stormcloak soldier. Yet this wasn’t a battlefield and Ralof, as was this Stormcloak’s name, was speaking to him without dislike. 

And in that same cart, so close to him, none other than Ulfric Stormcloak. This was the first time he’d laid eyes on the man they had been waiting to ambush at the border. The intel had been good. Except for the part where the Empire had also set up their own ambush. Snared within their own snare. 

That’s right, they were ambushed. Amata...that damned woman. 

Gael felt the panic grown in the pit of his stomach. It was hard to see the other carts ahead and behind. They all seemed full of the same blue uniform and others in rags like himself. He couldn’t recognize any of them and it was hard to remember exactly what had happened the night before. One moment they knew where Ulfric and his men were, the next, they were being surrounded by red-clad soldiers. His head still hurt while Blonde-Boy kept talking. He wanted to rub his temples but his hands were tied. 

In Helgen, his panic settled for the resignation he had pulled over himself during the war. It was actually quite entertaining that the same people he fought and died for were now sending him to the chopping block. He laughed at that commander when she demanded his name and shrugged at the man that apologized but did nothing more. A life was a life.    

And things only got funnier after that. Nothing funnier than discovering you’re some sort of Nord Demi-God figure. A legend. And for what? 

“You’re quieter than usual” Amata noted from her horse, her hands steady on the reigns, but her posture was relaxed. Gael saw her from the corner of his eyes but didn’t reply right away. He knew what she was going to bring up. “If you’re that worried about your sister then you should have allowed her to come with us. Mages are useful in their own way.” 

“No.” Was his simple, resolute reply. He wasn’t amused by this idea of bringing Raelynn along. “You’re not bringing Raelynn into this.” 

“She’s not a little girl. And if she was able to handle finding you…” 

“No.” Gael replied firmer. The last time he’d seen Lynn was the day before she departed to Winterhold. She wasn’t even present at their Father’s funeral a couple years after, but Gael was sure that was more a matter of late letters. It had been easier for him to be a bad brother and invest himself more and more in war than in grieving with his family. 

Now he was Dragonborn. That should have felt like the beginning of all his problems but was it really? 

No. Everything was fine until that damned arrow flew through his shoulder, knocking him into the ground from the surprise. He had been left on the dirt, bleeding out slowly. Dying for what…? For the Empire? Did he really believe in that or had he just been eager to put years of training to work? That was when Amata, dressed in her stormcloak uniform, found him and made him an offer. That was when his real troubles began. When the damned spy didn’t let him die.  

_ We kill Ulfric, the rest of his army crumbles. _ It a simple directive.  _ We don’t exist to The Empire. They give us intel, but we’re on our own.  _ There was the complication. Amata Stormstrider, a true daughter of Skyrim. Whatever in Oblivion that meant. Somewhere along the line something had changed her opinion about the war. Gael didn’t ask her too many questions. Not his business. 

“What you told that man…” Amata started again from her horse. He noticed her horse speed up until her horse clopped side by side to his. He finally turned his blues to her. “About your sister...is it true?” 

Gael moved his gaze forwards and sighed deeply. 

“Yes.” He finally let out. “We were young, the kids in the neighborhood liked to pick on her because she was different.” 

“Because of her magic?” 

“Partially. She had a good hand for it, didn’t help that she liked to read. And she learned a lot very young.” Gael sighed out. “She rarely played with any of the other kids. Instead, you’d find her without her shoes, muddied dresses, picking through the grass and tide pools. She loved visiting the alchemy shop more than the clothier. And she enjoyed making the tips of her fingers spark up for no reason. You can see where the teasing might have started. I think they were scared of her...”

Amata’s eyes switched from the road to her companion. She was listening. Gael kept his gaze forward. 

“When she fought back the first time, she was scolded harshly. So then she stopped fighting back. She grew more and more introverted. And the other kids grew bolder. We’re the same age but our lives were completely different.” Gael shook his head. “Even so, I tried to look out for her. I kept her company. But I didn’t like her getting picked on so much. At some point they mobbed her and threw her into the bay. I still don’t know how I pulled her out. Back then, I wasn’t much bigger and she nearly drowned. That was when I said enough, and I started using her as my sparring partner. I encouraged her to use her magic however she knew. She could practice on me and I could practice my swordsmanship with her.” 

“You did what any brother would do...” Amata pointed out. “I don’t see why you’re so troubled about it” 

“No. It was a mistake. I told her to fight back.” Gael huffed  “I thought I understood her. I didn’t. And I definitely didn’t understand what she could do…” 

“What exactly happened then?” 

“To this day, I’m not so sure…” Gael sighed. “We were a bit older by then. Old enough to know better. Adolescents are stupid I guess. No. She was pretty smart always. I’m the lesser twin, people just don’t see it because she’s so damn jittery.” Gael managed a smile in between the frown. “I got into a fight. Should’ve known she was nearby because she was always down by the stupid docks. She saw and tried to get in between. They turned their attention to her and…” 

“She fought back.” 

“Yes. But she didn’t stop. She would have killed them. I’d never seen her like that. I don’t even know where our Pa came from, but he was there suddenly, trying to get her to stop and she…” 

“I see.”  

“I don’t like talking about it.” Gael huffed out. 

“I don’t think it was your fault, Ariese,” Amata stated spurring on her horse. “Stop blaming yourself.” 

“It was my fault. Now I’m just worried. If she’s having problems I should help her...” Gael sighed and watched her trot on ahead of him. He shook his head. The day didn’t seem so warm after all. He spurred his horse on after Amata’s. The faster this business with the Dragons was resolved the faster he’d have Ulfric’s head on a silver platter, the faster he could find his sister, and apologize. His gaze settled on the mountain looming over them still. He pulled his gaze ahead onto Amata. It was easier to handler all of this when he was just another dead soldier.  

“She’s not your problem. She’s a big girl, and rather capable.” Amata replied. “Will you make it a problem?” 

“It won’t be a problem so long as you keep her out of this” He started. Amata eyed him. “So who is our contact in Solitude?” He pressed on.

“Some wood elf. Malborn.” Amata replied. “We’re to meet him at the tavern.” 

~

The chair wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but after the night he had, Vilkas had given into sleep rather easily. He awoke with a start a couple of hours later because he could have sworn that the earth was trembling. Or maybe it was just a dream. 

Whatever the case, Raelynn was gone again. Stretching out, he pulled himself up and followed the hallway out into the rotunda. A couple of hooded figures eyed him, pulling away silently from the open space. His eyes scanned the area finding his Mage friend sitting on the steps leading up to the hallway he stood within, with the same greybeard from earlier. Vilkas didn’t move. 

“The voice was a gift from the Goddess Kynareth, at the dawn of time. She gave the mortals the ability to speak as Dragons do. Although this gift has often been misused, the only true use of the Voice is for the worship and glory of the Gods. True mastery of the voice can only be achieved when your inner spirit is in harmony with your outward actions. In the contemplation of the sky. Kynareth’s domain. And the practice of the Voice, we strive to achieve this balance.” 

“I’m...I'm not sure why this is happening. But I will try to follow your teachings Master Arngeir.” Raelynn sighed out. Vilkas stood still. 

“That is commendable. But remember, the Dragon Blood is itself a gift of Akatosh. Do not try to deny that gift. Your destiny requires you to use your Voice. Why else would Akatosh have bestowed this power upon you too? If you remember to use your voice in service to the purpose of Akatosh you will remain true to the Way.” 

Raelynn looked uncomfortable. The Greybeard seemed to catch Vilkas from the corner of his eye. 

“Now then. I leave you to meditate upon that. Return to us when your task is finished. Sky above. Voice within.” The greybeard stood bowed and left, only then did Vilkas step forward. Raelynn stood from the steps. 

“What was that about?” He asked looking down the hallway. 

“Nothing.” Raelynn dismissed with a wave of her hand. “We should try to return to the Inn.” 

“No wait, the Greybeards tasked you with something? What was he saying about the voice? Your voice?” 

“It’s nothing.” Raelynn replied quickly standing up and moving past him back to the small alcove where they had rested. Vilkas followed, though not too happily. He leaned on the doorway and watched the mage girl take a seat on the bed and breath in. 

“You’re underdressed for the weather outside.” He noted, deciding to change the subject. He saw her nod, her hands reached for the nightgown she was in. 

“So are you.” 

“You barely gave me time to put on my boots.” He sighed stepping into the room. He took a seat on the same chair he had slept in. He rubbed his face and looked straight at her. 

“I’m sorry.” Raelynn finally said. She seemed worried. More so than before. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t worried. 

“You don’t have to apologize.” He said tilting his head. “You were saying strange things...do you remember any of it?”

She scrunched her face, and was going to shake no when she stopped herself. Vilkas frowned. He reached for her hand and turned it so her palms were facing upward. His finger traced one of the lines pensively. 

“Tell me the truth. Whatever it is.” He bit the inside of his lips. “You’re a Companion. So whatever it is, I will stand by you as your Shield Brother.” 

“Vilkas…You’ll...think I’m crazy.” She sucked in a breath. 

“I already do. But it’s fine. I don’t think you’re evil...” He smiled awkwardly. His finger stopped tracing the line on her hand and she looked down. 

“There’s…” She stopped and swallowed. “I think ...something...someone is in my head. Haunting my dreams. I don’t understand how this has come to pass…I don’t remember and it hurts to think about it. Which makes me think even more that...that…I must go to Solstheim. With or without Gael...”

“Solstheim?” Vilkas furrowed his eyebrows. “This again? It must be important...”

“Yes.” She replied, but her eyes scanned the sack in the corner. She pulled her hand away and pointed at them “But first...our promise.I haven’t forgotten that is why we’re here.”

Vilkas frowned deeper. She was changing the subject again. 

“Let’s just think about how we’re going to get back to the Inn.” He sighed out. 

“I can walk.” 

“Barefoot? In the snow?” 

“I did so last night.” 

“And you’re lucky you haven’t caught anything or gotten frostbite. I suppose I could carry you back down.” He shook his head, and sighed, standing up, he towered over her momentarily and before she could even think of getting away, snatched her up in his arms. What should have been a yelp of surprise, actually nearly blew his head off, something he’d witnessed from her brother only, but was now in her voice. The ripples in the air passed right over his head and disappeared into the dark stones of the ceiling. Vilkas swallowed and looked at her wide eyed, she stared at him with the same surprise from within his arms. 

“Was that…?” 

“I….” She stuttered out, her face red  “I didn’t mean to….” 

“Raelynn, you’re Dragonborn?”

“No!” She shook her head frantically and buried it in his chest, he seemed to notice more than she did. “I don’t know, ok? I’m sorry...I just I’m so confused...”  

“We should catch up to Gael. Tell him. He can help you figure this out.” Vilkas started but her hands at his shirt pulled his attention back towards her reddened face, now peeking at him. He felt his own face get hot. 

“No.” Raelynn replied quickly. “Promise me….”

“But if you are as well, he should know.” 

“No. He shouldn’t. Gael is doing important things. And I...I still have to figure myself out. This thing that won’t let me rest. Not until I figure out what is really happening to me. Promise me Sword boy.” 

“I uh...Of course.” Vilkas sighed out defeatedly. 

“We should just forget all this. Focus on our task at hand. Yes?” She continued. He shook his head at her. “Could you put me down. I’m sure that woman that was with my brother left me behind a pair of boots...”  

“Of course….” Vilkas replied quickly putting the mage down. She let go and her warmth followed her. “I still think you should tell him. He seemed like he needed all the help he could get. And if the Dragons coming back have something to do with the reappearance of a Dragonborn then…” 

“Then what? Nobody but you and the Greybeards know. My brother can handle it. He always does.” 

“You’re just going to pretend you’re not Dragonborn?” 

“I couldn’t just pretend I wasn’t a mage.” She replied carefully. “I intend to fully understand what is happening to me before...before I go charging in.” 

“I suppose so.” 

“It doesn’t matter” she added quickly casting a glare in Vilkas’ direction. “It changes nothing. Now let’s hurry up and get back to the Inn so we can return to Whiterun.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the fluff!  
> Next one will be a little more plot oriented. :) Promise! :) and also maybe something else muahaha. XD thank you for following and reading! Comments always welcome! :D I love hearing from you guys especially if you enjoyed the chapter.


	18. Harbinger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Harbinger of the Companions

The cart rocked back and forth, the horse trotted on, nervous but too tired to care who was in the wagon on their way back to Whiterun. The driver hummed a busy tune, and Raelynn scooted her legs in causing the hem of her blue robe to hike up. It didn’t matter, she had pants on now. Yet her eyes were no longer on the book and instead stole a glance at The Companion sitting across from her who averted his own eyes. 

“Is something the matter?” He spoke up. She closed her book and shook her head slowly. 

“I was just wondering...” She started out carefully. 

“Spit it out, Sparks.” 

“The... _ wolf _ ” She paused and stared at him momentarily before continuing. “Was it something you wanted?” 

“At first.” Vilkas huffed looking away. “We’re all young and stupid at some point, aren’t we?” 

“I guess so.” Rae replied quietly. “You don’t look that old. Is it hard to control…?” 

“Yes.” Vilkas replied. “The power is not worth the restlessness that comes with it. A constant fear that you might lose yourself to it’s call, the urge to tear and hunt....” 

“Does it call often?” 

“Yes.” He replied steadying his eyes upon her. “Why are you curious about it, all of a sudden?” 

“I…” She removed her eyes awkwardly and returned them back to the book she was reading. “I thought maybe it, maybe it was right.” 

“Whatever it is, it’s not because you’re Dragonborn.”

“Then it’s something else?” 

“I don't know.” 

She didn’t continue the conversation. Instead she lowered her eyes back to the pages of her book, sliding and bumping along with the wagon. The rest of the trip was silent and they arrived in Whiterun just as the sun started to set and each cottage window lit up with warmth. Jorrvaskr was as somber as when they had left. Vilkas excused himself as the circle convened almost immediately, even at such a late and short notice, while Raelynn settled back into her bunk and then left the Hall for some fresh air. 

In the Underforge it was decided (amidst some arguing) that it was the Circle’s duty to free Kodlak’s spirit and that they would set out immediately the next morning to give Eorlund enough time to put together Wuuthgrad, so that they may enter Ysgramor’s tomb. 

“And what of the Mage girl?” Aela asked “I’m sure she will ask to come” 

“She comes with us.” Vilkas replied crossing his arms. “I see no problem with that.” 

“She is not part of the Circle. I would even say she is barely even a Companion.” 

“She is a Companion. That was Kodlak’s decision.” Vilkas reiterated. “And though she is not part of the Circle, she has done everything in her power to make this happen. More so than others who are part of our Circle”  

“I see you’ve had a change of heart, Vilkas.” Aela grinned. “Very well. You are right. I don’t object. Farkas?” 

“I have no objection.” Farkas heavy voice came. 

“I just hope she’s not deadweight.” Aela poked leaving the forge. Vilkas sighed, with a roll of his eyes, followed his brother out. 

“I thought you hated her…” Farkas started on the way out. Vilkas sighed again. 

“I didn’t hate her…” Vilkas replied with a roll of his eyes. “The blood--

“The blood knows what it wants.” Farkas laughed. Vilkas face reddened. “Aela and I did not react badly to her.” 

“It is nothing like that.” Vilkas huffed out making his way through the back patio and onto the training grounds. He picked up a sword. Go figure, Farkas was following. “You don’t know because you did not transform in her presence. Or perhaps she has not been close enough for you to feel it. There is something wrong. She knows it too.” 

“How close does she have to be? I’m surprised you went that far.” Farkas replied with a snort. He picked up his own sword gave it a spin and readied himself. Vilkas stepped towards him and their swords clashed. 

“Still as clueless as ever, aren’t you?” Vilkas huffed out at his brother, as their swords clashed again. “I’m only keeping my promise to Kodlak.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad you don’t dislike her anymore.” Farkas replied with a shrug, twirling the blade, and satisfied with the small clash set it down and took a seat at the table. Vilkas followed. To say he missed Jorrvaskr would be an understatement. In a way though, he felt the heaviness of grief consume him a little more than out on the road. 

“I should go tell her that we’re leaving first thing tomorrow morning.” 

“Have one of the new bloods do it.” Farkas replied picking up a piece of bread and stuffing his face. Vilkas sneered at him in disgust. 

“Ria…” Vilkas called out seeing her passing. “Where’s Sparks?” 

“Mage girl?” Ria smirked. “She left a while ago.” 

“Did she say where she was going?” Vilkas inquired 

“She said she needed fresh air. Maybe she went to see Farengar?” Ria shrugged and walked past. “Where else would she be?”

“The Court mage? This late?” Vilkas muttered out. His attention turned to Farkas who had almost half a loaf stuffed in his mouth but was shooting him a stupid smirk. “Shut the hell up.” 

~

“Fascinating. I could almost forgive you for distracting me from my research.” Farengar beamed with sarcasm, he held Raelynn’s eyelid open and used a magnifying glass to peer into her eyes. “I don’t perceive any basic signs of Daedric influence, but the bags under your eyes are very telling.” He let go and leaned back on his desk. “You say you have trouble sleeping?” 

“Yes. But what’s more than that there’s these dreams and I just remember them in fragments. And when I try to think of them, my head hurts. It feels like it's being torn apart. I’m sure something is messing me up. I don’t know where to start or how to start..” 

“I see.” Farengar rubbed his chin. “Not to say I don’t believe you, but nightmares are a common occurrence in those that delve into the magical arts. Have you had any contact with enchanted items? Or strange magic? This is a little outside of my expertise, but the symptoms you are describing, I mean, perhaps are a product of an overactive imagination. Or perhaps a Daedra has possessed your mind. It’s hard to tell. I don’t think it’s the latter if that will give you some relief. But I do think you need to slow down a little. Overwork your mind and you’re in for it.”  

“No, Farengar this is different.” Raelynn huffed out slipping to the edge of her seat. Farengar paced behind his desk and crossed his arms. Raelynn’s eyes fell on the map behind him. “Farengar, what do you  _ know _ about the Dragons?”  

“Apart from all the stuff of legends and myths, I’ve learned very little. The samples you helped me collect yielded very little.” Farengar sighed. “I suspect I won’t learn more than what is written. And to even verify that I suspect I’ll need a live subject.” 

“A dragon? Here. In your office?” Raelynn snorted. 

“No not necessarily, if I could as much as observe one…” Farengar continued, then threw his hands up. “Did you just come here to mock my research?” 

“No. I came here to say Hello, and see if you had learned anything new. Either about the Dragons or the Dragonborn” 

“Of course. And so I could check your health.” Farengar added sardonically. “Thank you for wasting my time, Apprentice.” 

“You’re welcome.” Raelynn popped up from the chair. 

“You’re almost as insufferable as your Brother.” Farengar muttered. 

“There’s something else. Something I think you’ll find very interest--” Raelynn smiled turning around and shrugging at Farengar, her eyes upon his desk full of vials and books. She missed her desk and her quarters in the college. 

“I don’t have time right now Raelynn…” Farengar interrupted circling his desk and reaching for her shoulders he lead her towards the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me…” 

He shut his door. Fine. 

Raelynn huffed and started out of Dragonsreach, down the steps into the plaza, slowing down at the sight of the dead tree.  _ A gift from Kynareth...huh?   _ Her direction changed towards the temple but the Priestess there knew very little about the matter of Dragonborns. Instead the topic turned into the dead tree outside and how to repair it. Was this how Gael felt? Lost? Somebody had to know anything about the Dragonborn. She never missed Urag and his books more, even though she had already reread The book of the Dragonborn several times over. There had to be more. Why...her? It was a grave mistake of destiny. 

“Sparks!” The name pulled her from her thoughts, while she absentmindedly crossed under the tree towards Jorrvaskr. 

“Vilkas…” Raelynn smiled out stopping to let him finish stepping towards her. “How did the meeting with the Circle go?” 

“Good. We gave the fragments of Wuuthrad to Eorlund. We set out tomorrow. You too. I wanted to let you know, since we are leaving early in the morn” 

“Thank you.” She replied blankly “We should probably go get some rest then? That wagon was too bumpy. I suppose it’s a good thing I went to bother Farengar” 

“Yeah. Farengar.” He replied, his eyes moved away from hers, and he looked like he had something on his mind. “Did you get what you needed?” 

“Eh...More or less. I guess I was hoping he knew something about...” Raelynn replied.  The stars above hidden behind a curtain of blue and green auroras. They started towards Jorrvasker in silence except she lingered back, he turned back with a questioning look. “I’m not going back to Winterhold...after...after this is all over. I know he probably asked you to take me back.”

Vilkas smiled, his shoulders dropping a little with his chuckle. He stepped back returning to her and shook his head. Silly girl. 

“I didn’t plan on forcing you to go back. Do as you wish.” Vilkas crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not your babysitter.” 

She smiled. He noticed because it was the first time in what felt like ages that he’d seen something so sincere on her face. Maybe he never had. He couldn’t remember the last time anyway. “Now...let’s get back and try to rest without sleepwalking up a mountain? We have a long trip starting tomorrow.” 

“Of course.” She replied quite easily. It made him raise his eyebrows. She stepped past him and he was the one to linger back this time. 

-

Raelynn looked at the map and frowned. The road was familiar enough, they had headed north. That is where Ysgramor’s tomb was located. Right past Winterhold. Rae grinded her teeth slightly, feeling the soft warmth of the White hold turn colder with every step. She was imagining things now. 

The first day was an alright walk, having made it into The Pale hold, they found a nice clearing to camp out. Aela was not one for small talk and headed out to hunt something for supper while Raelynn took care of the fire after Farkas helped gather some firewood. They still had another day’s walk up, if nothing came up, and they would make it to Winterhold. According to this map, the tomb was just Northwest of the college on a small isle. 

“Something the matter, magical little Sister?” Farkas’ deep voice interrupted Rae’s worried thoughts. The mage smiled, looked up and shook her head closing up the map. What was she supposed to tell them? That she was scared of getting thrown in the dungeon for stealing a horse in a fit of madness…? That she was worried the guards would recognize her immediately? 

The next day, early and bright they travelled about three hours north, finding the cold much more relentless than the day before. They came across a mill, and caught a wagon headed north towards in Windhelm but in the same direction as Winterhold. It was a thankful rest, and more so, it meant they’d reach the tomb faster. Aela was more for small talk than Rae could’ve imagined with Farkas and Vilkas both staring out of the wagon in silence. They reached Winterhold a few hours before sunset, and Rae was never more grateful that her new robes were hooded. Aela thankfully, was bent on getting to the tomb as fast as they could, bypassing the town almost entirely. Entering the tomb itself was a whole ordeal on its own, though once inside, they were all grateful to be out of reach from the cold wind.  

Before them, empty handed was Ysgramor’s statue, a few scattered urns here and there but nothing else of note in the singular chamber. Vilkas and Aela nodded at Farkas who was the bearer of the Axe the entire trip. The tall man placed the axe and suddenly stones began to grind. They all sucked in their breathes and collectively let them out when the passage was revealed. 

“This is the resting place of Ysgramor. And his most trusted generals. You should be cautious.” Vilkas piped up hanging back by the door. Raelynn and Farkas looked over their shoulders at him. Aela stopped from entering the tomb. Vilkas still stood near the entrance. “The original Companions. Their finest warriors rest with Ysgramor. You’ll have to prove yourself to them. It’s not that you’re intruding. I’d wager they’ve actually expected us. They just want to be sure that you’re worthy. Be ready for an honorable battle.” 

“Ready yourself as well, Brother, or are you not coming?” Aela replied shooting him a curious glare. Raelynn stared at him but said nothing. “Then what was the point of you traveling with us all the way here?” 

“I…” He sighed and shook his head “I do not feel worthy. I let vengeance and dark thoughts rule my heart. I regret nothing of course, but I don’t think I am worthy of setting foot in there…” 

“You gave me your word..” Raelynn interrupted stepping towards him. He shook his head at her. “We’ve come this far.” 

“And my presence would hinder your trial through the tomb.” Vilkas replied with a sigh. “I would want nothing but to go, but being here, I sense this is what must be done.” 

“We’re not here to prove anything to anyone. We’re here to free Kodlak” Raelynn replied reaching for his hand

“And to do that you must prove yourself worthy to the spirits. If Kodlak thought that was you...then you must do this. And if I’m a hindrance to that I must remain behind.” He replied. The disappointment was visible on the mage girl’s face. “Farkas and Aela will stand by you. I cannot do that this time Raelynn, but I will be here, vigilant.” 

“Koldak--

“Kodlak entrusted you with this. You read it yourself.” He replied looking at her. She stepped towards him shaking her head. Farkas and Aela lingered behind her. “It is you who stands for him.” 

“I know what he read. But...I need you in there with me.” Her voice lowered even as she neared him. Vilkas’ eyes did not waver on hers, “Please. We should all be in there.”

“She’s right.” Farkas replied 

“Yes. We’ve all given into the thoughts of vengeance.” Aela added shifting her eyes. 

“It doesn’t feel right.” Vilkas replied turning his eyes back to Raelynn. 

“You know firsthand what I did, what you did...what  _ we both _ did to those bastards. And they deserved it.” Raelynn’s voice urged. “You can’t stay back. I helped you. Now you help me with this. It is on your honor as my shield-brother. You promised...” She reached for her dagger on the small of her back and unsheathed it. She lit her hand up next to her. The light was not a fire, it burned bright and circular in her hand and gave off no warmth. Her face glowed beyond it. She sighed. “If you wish to stay, then stay. I won’t force you to come with us.” 

Raelynn pushed past the other two, into the entrance, Aela following. Farkas lingered before turning away and starting after the women. 

There was nothing but silence left behind. Vilkas huffed out. She didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand what Honor meant. Not to him. The quiet self-detestation that kept him awake at night. He might be a Companion, but the blood inside of him had demanded actions that were against his code. Would the 500 here deem him unworthy? He was afraid to find out. And what of the dangers that stupid mage girl would face within? She seemed to be underestimating everything. Even with Farkas and Aela. No...She was capable enough to be on her own. That was something he had to remember, because once this was over, she was going to leave. She wasn’t going to return to Winterhold and even if she did, he doubted she’d stay there long. 

Vilkas pacing around the room worsened. She was stupid to think she was worthy enough to walk those Halls. The decision came in a split second and he stepped into the hall, following the old stone corridor after their scents. Farkas’ unmistakable scent of dirt and steel, Aela’s of damp leaves and bark, and the faint scent of books and dried flowers from the mage. 

“Brother.” Farkas stopped him near the third room. 

“What are you doing here? Where’s Aela and Raelynn?” 

“They went on ahead.” Farkas admitted. Vilkas shot him a glare. 

“Why?”    

“I…” Farkas sighed looking over at the room ahead, cobwebs spun thickly over the doorframe and a small hole where Rae and Aela had cut through. 

“Spiders? Seriously?” Vilkas huffed at him. 

“I’ve been having trouble with them since Gael’s trial” Farkas admitted. Vilkas couldn’t help rolling his eyes. 

“Come on, Icebrain. We’re going after them.” 

“What? I thought you didn’t want…” 

“I thought Raelynn would have you and Aela by her side…” Vilkas shot back, unsheathing his sword. He pushed through and looked over his shoulder to make sure Farkas was following. He was. But his face showed the sheer uncomfort of even taking a glance at the Spiders’ corpses strewn around the floor. 

~

“Kodlak…? Is that you?” Raelynn sighed out sheathing her dagger and dropping to the floor from the third step of the stairwell she was on. 

“Of course it’s me.” Kodlak’s figure smiled back. It was as though his body had become translucent. He wore the same armor from his funeral, and his hands neared a fire pit as thought trying to keep himself warm. “My fellow harbingers and I have been warming ourselves here. Trying to evade Hircine.” Aela followed Raelynn, stepping slowly towards the old man. 

“There’s nobody else here.” Aela responded. 

“You see only me because your heart knows only me as the Companions Leader.” Kodlak replied. “I’d wager old Vignar could see half a dozen of my predecessors. And I see them all. The ones in Sovngarde. The ones trapped with me in Hircine’s realm. And they all see you. You’ve both brought honor to the name of the Companions. We won’t soon forget it.” 

Raelynn reached her hand but it went straight through his arm. She pulled it back and shook her head. She had to focus. 

“Vilkas...Said you can still be cured?” 

“Did he now? Or was it you?” Kodlak replied. “I can only hope you both figured it out. You have the witches’ heads?” 

“Here” Aela piped up pulling the sack she’d been carrying forward. 

“Excellent.” Kodlak’s spirit replied. “Throw one of them into the fire. It will release their magic. For me at least.” 

Aela nodded towards Raelynn and she looked nodding back. The huntress threw the head into the fire. A red hot blaze erupted, and Kodlak’s spirit became entrenched in it. His ghost grew larger, redder, until the unmistakable figure of a wolf, not as a beast, but a true wolf manifested. It growled and lunged, Raelynn hopped back, a fist of electricity released towards it. Aela pulled away distancing herself enough to make her bow useful. 

Raelynn lifted her hands focusing on the tingle in her fingertips. She felt the crackle grow, as she motioned her hands together and then released the chain of electricity towards the red spirit, just as it had turned on Aela. Aela rolled away, and the beast turned onto Raelynn, pushing itself into a sprint after her. The Mage girl, took off sliding right underneath the stairwell. The wolf bared it’s red teeth at her, snarling and chomping at her legs, while she pushed herself as far back into the wall as she could. 

“Raelynn! Blast it!” She heard Aela voice, beyond the red eyes that were focused entirely on her. The same bloodlust lingered in them as it had in Vilkas, but it was more than just that. It was a vision of Fear. It’s teeth caught her boot suddenly, pushing into her as real as any physical wolf. Raelynn yelled out. The arrows kept coming but the wolf did not relent, until she clapped her hands together, pushing her palms out so a blast of fire would erupt from them straight into it’s face, and throwing it back enough that she could crawl out from under the stairwell.

The spirit lifted itself and charged towards, her again. This time, she didn’t run. She stood in place, her hand unsheathing her dagger promptly. 

“Get out of the way!” It was Vilkas, suddenly in front of her, with his greatsword ready. Farkas followed behind. Raelynn stepped back as the beasts’ gnashing teeth met with the blade. “Now’s your chance! Aela! Farkas! Sparks!” 

“Right!” Aela yelled knocking in an arrow. Farkas moved in, while Raelynn readied her next spell. The electricity crackled deeply, she felt it in her palms now, built up, a storm ready to happen, it whipped and lashed ripping away little lines of red into her hands, and then it pulsated out, straight over Vilkas’ head and into the infernal beast ahead. The beast howled, convulsing before it burst into a million red particles that floated down upon them. They all looked at each other, breathing heavily, before their eyes fell on Kodlak’s spirit, blue and calm. 

“Kodlak….” Vilkas called out, throwing down his sword. Farkas gathered in quickly towards him. 

“And so slain the beast inside of me.” Kodlak smiled, though it was hard to tell. Raelynn hung back. “You’ve done well my Companions.” 

“Kodlak...I’m sorry--

“There is nothing for any of you to apologize. You have given me a gift I’ve longed for, for so long.” He cut off Vilkas. His eyes set on the horizon. “The other Harbingers remain trapped by Hircine, though, Perhaps from Sovngarde, the heroes of old can join me in their rescue. The Harrowing of the Hunting grounds. It would be a battle of such triumph. And perhaps one day, you’ll all join us in that battle.” His eyes settled beyond Vilkas and Farkas and Aela, Raelynn stumbled forward. 

“I couldn’t save you the first time. This is--

“Enough. More than enough.” he replied to her. He looked around to the faces looking at him, expecting something from him. His translucent hand fell upon Vilkas’ shoulder and the other upon Farkas’ “There will be many battles ahead before you may join us in that Harrowing my friends, for today, return to Jorrvaskr. Triumph in your victory. Lead the companions to further glory.”

“How can we do that without your guidance?” Vilkas piped up furrowing his eyebrows. The spirit smiled gently. 

“You’ve all already accomplished enough. A harbinger is no more than an advisor. Someone with enough sense about him to guide the others. I trust your judgements. And you should trust your instinct more, and your doubts less, Harbinger. Hail, Companions! I’ll await for you all in Sovngarde” 

“Wait--” 

His spirit disappeared. Raelynn sighed out but the others fell into a deep silence. 

“Did I hear right?” Aela finally said turning to Vilkas. “Did he call you Habringer?” 

“No I--

“He did.” Farkas’ voice cut Vilkas off. “And he’s earned the right if you ask me. Your strength and honor are apparent to all.” 

“Then I suppose it is my honor to be the first to address you as Harbinger.” 

“No. This is not right…” Vilkas protested. He glanced towards Raelynn who shot him a silent timid smile. 

“The old man trusted you, and so do I, and everyone else. It only makes sense.” Aela about hissed at him. Vilkas nodded. Raelynn plopped down on the ground and breathed out. She felt tendrils of golden glow forming at her hand and she pushed her hand into the boot that had been torn open by the wolf. Her eyes met Vilkas’ eyes for a few seconds. 

“I’m going back to the entrance.” He finally huffed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D FINALLY!!!! I didn't even re-read it. I just wanted to get it out and posted!


	19. Old Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble In Winterhold.

Raelynn watched Vilkas go, sharing the surprised silence with Farkas and Aela. Only the soft glow from her hand echoed in the burial chamber. 

“He didn’t seem too happy.” She sighed out letting go of her boot. Her ankle felt better, but it’d still be a matter of seeing how much it still hurt when she got up. Restoration was harder to focus on. Farkas approached her with heavy steps and offered her a hand. She took it and pulled her up on her feet. Her ankle stung a little but it was doable. 

“He’s never happy. He should be. It is a great honor” Aela responded moving around the chamber. It looked like she was examining the place. “He will have to accept it and get over it.” 

“It probably caught him off guard.” Farkas chimed in “It caught me off guard.” 

“True.” Rae frowned taking a few test steps. “Should we start heading back?” 

“If you’d like, you can go ahead.” Aela replied “Secure rooms in the Inn. I would like to stay behind for a few more moments and commune with this place.” 

“Farkas?” 

“I’ll stay with Aela.” Farkas smiled. “Besides, I get the feeling you can talk my brother out of his shock.” 

“I don’t see why you think that.” Raelynn huffed back. She wasn’t completely happy about returning to Winterhold, but she also got the sense that maybe if it was late in the evening, there would be less of a chance of someone recognizing her. Her thoughts wandered to the college Perhaps Urag had something more on the matter of the Dragonborns in his library? She had spent many late nights in that library, enough to know that it was mostly empty in the late hours. She shook her head. How was she supposed to just waltz in and ask him after how she had left? Then, knowing her luck, she would run into someone. Maybe she could break in? No. Then Urag would really send thugs out for her. It was a bad idea altogether. For now, it best would be to lay low, and if she could hire a cart that same night out of Winterhold she’d go on ahead. There had to be a mistake about...about everything. 

“Something the matter, Shield-Sister?” Aela’s voice cut through her thoughts. 

“No. Nothing. I was just wondering why we couldn’t camp out here. Or just start heading back.” 

“I’d usually prefer the wilds to a stuffy tavern but there is very little in regards to firewood on this isle.” Aela remarked. “And the Cold will not be kind to us if we try to return tonight.” 

“Of course...I’ll...get going.” Raelynn replied moving away towards the corridor. 

She found Vilkas by Ysgramor’s statue, his icy blues looking up at the ancient statue’s expression with a mixture of admiration and dread. His eyes were pulled away by the echo of Raelynn’s footsteps towards him. He tightened his arms over his chest. 

“I should congratulate you, Harbinger.” Raelynn started softly. He rolled his eyes quickly and shook his head. “Are you alright?” 

“No.” He let out a heavy breath. “I am not fit for this title. It should go to someone else. Aela perhaps. Or your brother even….” 

“My brother is too busy saving the world from Dragons. He couldn’t even be here. Besides, Kodlak wanted you to have it.” 

“The old man was foolish to think I should inherit his boots. I could never fill them.” Vilkas scoffed. Raelynn sucked in a laugh and Vilkas shot her a glare. “What?” 

“I think you’ll do a fine job.” She shrugged. “You have the experience and the discipline. It doesn’t mean you have to fill Kodlak’s boots. It just means he trusted you enough to carry the torch forward--however you see fit.” Raelynn shrugged 

“That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say” His lips turned into a straight line instead of the usual frown. He breathed in. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. I suppose I’m just scared I will not lead the Companions well enough.” 

“Just do what Kodlak told you to do. Free your mind of doubt. You should be fine. I think.” Raelynn added walking past him towards the entranceway. He dropped his arms and shrugged, following her with his eyes. 

“Where are you going?”  

“Aela wants me to go on ahead and get us a couple rooms at the Inn.” Raelynn replied, though her voice was tinged with something he recognized as worry. 

“I see. Are you...okay? I mean...apart from all of this. Being back here...did you want to stop by the College before we go back?” 

“I’m fine.” She replied quickly. “I...I would like to go but I shouldn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“I…” She smiled trailing off. “I didn’t leave on the best of terms. In fact...I just abandoned everything and ran away.”  

“I suppose I can see that. But I don’t understand how that would prevent you from visiting.”

“I...I’m going to get going before we’re trapped here for the night.” Raelynn sighed looking away. Vilkas nodded, acknowledging the sidestep in subject. He watched her go pulling her hood up. Part of him wanted to follow, but a bigger part told him to stay here for a few more moments. The history of this place was amazing, one he wasn’t too sure he could honor with his new title.  

Outside the wind whipped Raelynn’s robe aggressively. She still wasn’t too sure what she was supposed to do if anyone recognized her in town, but for now, the hood was enough. The trek into town was grueling. She had grown used to Whiterun’s tepid climate, and had forgotten Winterhold’s icy disposition. Moments later, she treaded up the steps to the Frozen Hearth and pushed in the door. Raelynn held her breath, half expecting the Tavern to go silent and all eyes to go onto her, but that didn’t happen. The bard kept playing and the few locals kept drinking. She did feel a few eyes briefly on her, but a pull on her hood made them turn away. She was just another stranger. 

She slid up to the bar where the Innkeeper kept wiping the counter endlessly and leaned in, without taking her hood. 

“Well if it isn’t Ariese…” Dagur the bartender smirked making her face flush immediately. He leaned in. “What? You thought just cause you got that hood on I wouldn’t recognize you? Back to steal more horses?” 

“SHHH!” Raelynn hissed pulling her hood over her face more. 

“Haha! You really should have done something else. You’re still the same silly girl I see…” 

“No! No...Are you going to turn me in? Please don’t turn me in….” Rae whispered quickly

“Well..the bounty’s pretty good you know…” He chuckled. 

“You wouldn’t. Don’t be like that Dagur. Remember all the drinks I’ve bought...”

“Yes and all the flame spells you and your cat friend set off too” Dagur shook his head leaning in. Rae leaned in too and narrowed her eyes. 

“I will set your hair on fire if you try to turn me in. I’m just passing through with some people and it got late. I need two rooms for the night. Please….” Raelynn whispered.

“Threatening me now are you? Wow, Ariese, you’ve turned into a full fledged criminal!” He chuckled heartily. 

“Oh...come on!” Rae begged “I helped you deal with Ranmir...remember?” 

“That is true. Poor man would still be in here depleting my reserves if it wasn’t for you and J’zargo. And you were always a good patron. Even with the drunken fires...” Dagur smiled leaning back and relaxing. “But...I’d still be harboring a criminal…” 

“You put up with Nelacar and his shady ass shit…wouldn’t be any different.” Raelynn hissed leaning over 

“Yeah but Nelacar’s never stolen a horse from the Jarl’s men.” Dagur laughed deeply again “Maybe I’d consider it...for a fee. You know, at this point you should just join the Guild.” 

“Shhhhh….wait what guild?”

Dagur rolled his eyes and laughed shaking his head. 

“Nevermind. I’m just teasing you. Knowing you...you’d actually consider it.”  He smiled gently, “I thought you were gone for good?” 

“I thought so too.” Raelynn sighed pulling out her purse “How much for two rooms and your  _ convenience _ fee?”

“50 Gold total.” Dagur smirked. Raelynn pulled out the coins begrudgingly and paid him. 

“There you go.” 

“Good. This should be enough to replace that rug you idiots burned” Dagur looked satisfied. He leaned in and smiled. “Now you they won’t throw you into The Chill.” 

“The Chill? Is that the Jarl’s dungeon?” Raelynn leaned in wide-eyed.  

“Ahaa. Sort of.” Dagur lowered his voice and looked both ways. “It’s a cave colder than a frostbite spider’s ass that they throw the criminals into because we don’t have a proper dungeon in town.” 

The girl pulled back and sucked in a breath. Dagur looked pleased with himself at her reaction.

“Nobody can know that I”m here. OK?” Raelynn hissed handing him over an extra 50 coins. Dagur laughed and took them. 

“As far as I know...I don’t know you.” He winked. “Now do you want something to eat?” 

“You’re enjoying this way too much aren’t you?” Raelynn’s eyes narrowed back. Dagur shrugged and picked up his rag. 

“Call it even for that time you and the cat set table three on fire while I was sweeping. Give me a moment and I’ll show you your rooms.” He pulled away, disappearing under the counter. Rae leaned further into it, trying to keep her face forward. She caught movement from the corner of her eye, but she didn’t want to turn. He was right. Walking into town like this was madness. If anyone found her out or if they didn’t leave early in the morning she’d be caught and thrown into that cave! What in Oblivion was she thinking? 

“Dagur…? Are you there? This one would like a pint of mead, please.” J’zargo’s silky voice made Raelynn’s eyes widen. “Stranger, did you see the bartender?” 

“I’m right here, J’zargo.” Dagur called pulling himself up from behind the counter. “What a coincidence. I was just reminiscing about how you and that girl Raelynn, nearly set the place on fire ...” 

“Ah yes. Good times. J’zargo is proud of his scrolls.” J’zargo about purred. Rae’s eyes widened more. She didn’t a muscle. Dagur glanced at her with a knowing smile and winked. “You should have seen it Stranger…It was a wondrous fireball! Ah. I miss my friend. I hope she is well. What brings you to Winterhold, stranger? You wear Mage clothes, are you here to join the college?” 

Leave it to J’zargo to talk to everyone he came across. Raelynn sucked in a breath, and turned to her friend slowly, this time moving her hood back. It wasn’t J’zargo’s fault that Winterhold was such a small and miserable shithole. 

“I missed you too J’zargo” She whispered. J’zargo’s eyes slit and his jaw turned into a surprised smile. 

“Raelyn---” 

“SHHHH!” Raelynn shushed louder. J’zargo shot her an apologetic glance before she turned to Dagur. 

“Dagur...the rooms please? Before someone else realizes who I am...” 

“Yeah Yeah. The two in the corner. Two beds each. Here you go.” 

“Thank you!” Raelynn started, grabbing her friend by the arm and pulling him towards the rooms. She felt as though all eyes were upon her but it seemed the Tavern hadn’t even noticed the shushing nor the commotion of her name. 

“But my pint!” J’zargo complained as she shoved him in the first room and closed the door. 

“I’ll buy you a pint. Just…” Rae started, but J’zargo was quick to hug her. She gave in to her friend’s hug and pulled back, this time his claws reached and pulled down her hood. His yellow eyes seemed to be appraising her.  

“Raelynn, it’s so good to see you’re alive! This one was worried. After you left, news about Helgen reached us. You were right! And this one is so glad to see you are well! You hair has grown out!”

“J’zargo there’s so much I have to tell you about….” Raelynn started, moving towards the bed. She plopped down. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms. 

“Of course, tell all, please, J’zargo is eager to hear!” He smiled, his tail flickered behind him. He slinked forward and took a seat on the chair near the small table in the room. Raelynn sighed. 

“Where do I even start….” Raelynn sighed. 

“How about I start by telling you that this one was detained wrongfully by the Jarl’s men.” J’zargo smirked. 

“Wrongfully? Ah...I never got the chance to thank you for that.” Raelynn smirked back. She sighed and started her tale. J’zargo listened intently, his tail flicking and sometimes stopping. He nodded at parts and made smart comments at other parts. Finally, as Rae finished, he crossed his arms in front of him and then rubbed his chin for a long moment. 

“You are dragonborn then?” 

“No...Yes? I don’t know. The Greybeards and...and the dragon from my dream think so. But that is my brother’s title. Not mine.” Rae huffed. “What’s more...these Dreams J’zargo. They won’t stop.” 

“It sounds dangerous. Perhaps the Arch-Mage---

“No.” Raelynn replied “No. I know what you’re going to say and no...I can’t. Tomorrow I will return to Whiterun and then I will bid the Companions farewell and set off to Solstheim.” 

“By yourself?” 

“I have to figure this out somehow,”

“This one can’t help but feel like your life would be in danger.” J’zargo sighed. “J’zargo will go with you.” 

“What? No ...No. You need to stay here and finish your studies.” 

“What better way than to set off on an adventure like this one?” J’zargo smiled. “Besides, you and I both know that the Magics is not limited to books and scrolls.” 

“Yes. But that would be to ask too much of you…” 

“Nonsense friend. J’zargo will go to Urag and check out books on Solstheim. Knowing where we are going will better prepare us then.” He turned towards the door. 

“Wait…” Raelynn reached out. “Ask Urag if he knows or has any books on the history of the Dragonborns ...Specifically the first to be called that.” J’zargo tilted his head and nodded. He reached for the door. “Oh! And…” Raelynn reached for her knapsack taking it off, she reached in and pulled out a small black book. “Give him this back. Tell him the last person to check it out is sorry she ran off with it…” 

“Of course. Stay here friend, I will return in an hour’s time.” He smiled but stopped half-way through the door “Are you sure you don’t want to go speak to the Arch-Mage?” 

“No. He wouldn’t understand.” Raelynn sighed. J’zargo nodded and stepped out of the room.  

It felt like an eternity, sitting in that silent room. Outside the Bard was singing a merry tune and the drunkards were singing along. A bit of nostalgia ran through Raelynn and she leaned back on the bunk reaching into her knapsack. The urge to go out there and get drunk and sing was in her but something else told her those days of carelessness were long gone. Instead she focused on the contents of her bag, there was something at the bottom that her fingers had grazed earlier. Something she didn’t recognize. She pulled out a tattered old book. She barely remembered it, from Urag’s library. He didn’t want it. 

“This old thing…I forgot about you. Did I ever even get to read you?” She muttered to the book, her fingers traced the tattered leather cover, and edged around to the side, letting the old pages slide under her fingertips. She swallowed hard, her hands trembled slightly. _Open it._ _No…_

_ “Open it. Then you will know what you seek.”  _ Someone was speaking, but there was only silence in the room. No, they weren’t speaking, so to say. Raelynn stood up from the bed, with the tattered old book in her hand. 

_ No. I shouldn’t. Last time I opened something bad happenned to me. _

_ Foolish girl, I offer you answers. Do you not wish to know who has ensnared you so?  _

_ “ _ Who are you?” Raelynn spoke out loud. The Room had become darker, even with the light of the candle still trying to flicker. Something seemed to be floating just above her, but she couldn’t make out anything other than a mass. 

_ Perhaps you are not prepared to face the truth that knowledge brings with it. Whether or not you are prepared, it is your fate and you cannot change that. _

Raelynn breathed in, looked down at the book in her hand and thumbed the side pages. She pushed the cover to the side slightly….

KNOCK KNOCK. 

The book dropped from her hand, the light seemed to return to the room immediately. The floating shadow disappeared and she picked up the book quickly and stuffed it into her bag, back at the bottom. 

“Friend. It is I, J’zargo…” J’zargo’s muffled voice called out from the other side of the door. “Can I come in? This one has the uh…. _ enchanting materials _ you requested. I promise J’zargo didn’t forget anything. If I did, I would immediately  _ run  _ back and get it.” Another set of heavy knocks came to the door. Heavier than J’zargo’s slim frame could probably muster. 

Raelynn’s heart started to beat fast. Something was wrong. A quick fist and a lightning rune etched itself into the room’s floor. She pulled her knapsack on her back, pulled her hood up, and made it to the window, just as the door was thrown open. Dagur’s voice protested somewhere behind. 

“I’m telling you, it’s not her! I would have recognized her! Stop this! You are invading my Patrons privacy!” 

Raelynn pulled the window up, threw one foot out. 

“It is her!” Nirya’s unmistakeable high pitch voice squealed out. “Arrest her!” 

“Run!” J’zargo called out. Raelynn glanced back, just as a guard threw J’zargo to one side. 

Raelynn jumped out the window, landing on the soft bed of snow underneath. She heard the blast of her lightning rune go off. She picked herself up and ran around the building, threw herself into a slide under an oncoming guard’s legs. She picked herself up and kept running towards the road, but someone snatched her by her knapsack pulling her back. She flailed and was thrown down on the snow again, then picked up by the arm. 

“You are under arrest!” The guard hissed. “By order of the Jarl. What say you?” 

“You’ve got the wrong person!” She hissed out. 

“We’ll figure that out. Now come with me.” 

“What? No! Let go of me!” Half the town had spilled out of the Tavern by then. Nirya pushing through them with a smug smile over her face. J’zargo limping out behind looking helpless as the guard secured Raelynn’s hands behind her back, pushing her down. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Vilkas voice cut through suddenly. Farkas and Aela were behind him, just arriving on the scene it seemed. Raelynn’s heart dropped. 

“This woman is a wanted horse thief.” The guard explained. “She stole the Jarl’s horse a few months ago.”

“And she assaulted me before running from the college!” Nirya hissed. “I almost died!” 

“You had a bruise on your stupid head. That is all” J’zargo spat. 

Vilkas eyes turned to Raelynn’s behind the messy curtain of hair. 

“Is this true Raelynn?” Vilkas asked the writhing mage. She stopped and sighed out, lowering her eyes. 

“She should be given a fair trial! Don’t just throw her in the chill!” Dagur the bartend started. The Guards turned their attention to him. 

“Do you want to be taken in for harboring criminals in that inn of yours? Is it not enough you harbor those damn mages? Good.” One of the guards hissed. Dagur backed down helplessly. The guard pulled her away. “Come along, witch.” 

“Wait.” Vilkas hissed out. “Where are you taking her?” 

“What is it to you?” 

“She is a Companion. And as the Harbinger of the Companions I demand to know.” Vilkas replied sternly. The guard looked at him and then at Aela and Farkas.  

“This one? A companion? It’s a little late to take her to the Chill. So we are going to put her in the holding cell until tomorrow morning. Then the Jarl can decide what he wants to do with her.” 

Rae writhed a little more, and sighed out looking at Vilkas and then at Farkas and Aela. 

“I already paid for the room.” She laughed stupidly before being drug away by two guards. 

The Companions looked on, before J’zargo limped forward. 

“The Jarl hates mages.” He muttered out. “You are her friends...yes? You must intervene. I...I will do what I can. I will speak to the Arch-Mage. This is J’zargo’s fault. This one was not careful and Nirya followed...damn that elven bitch.” J’zargo hissed. He moved towards the street and started back to the college. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MUAHAHAHAHAHAH <3


	20. Take It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking her freedom back

The door down the hall creaked open and the rush of a cold breeze pulled all the way to the back corner of the holding cell where Raelynn had curled up. She didn’t stand, until the heavy footsteps came in bringing two shadows into the dim light of a dying oil lamp.  

“Vilkas…” Her voice started but quickly faded and wavered at the sight of the second person entering the doorway. Savos Aren, the Arch-Mage himself. The guard behind them shot her a menacing look before moving back through the doorway. 

“Raelynn.” Savos acknowledged. 

“Arch-Arch-Mage” 

“It is a relief to find that you are alive and un-hurt.” Savos began gently. He always had that kind of wise air about him, but it didn’t retract from his kindness. The Dunmer cared about his college and each student, this was no secret. Raelynn wanted to melt into the wall, and she took a step back instinctively. He grimaced, his mouth turning downwards sternly. “Believe it or not, I worried about you.” 

“I-I apologize, Arch-Mage. I didn’t want to bring trouble to the college. I just…There was an emergency.” Raelynn finally said bowing her head deeply. He frowned and his red eyes glanced over at Vilkas, before sighing. “Yes. J’zargo has told me everything and I have heard some things from your friends from Whiterun. What amazes me is that you did not think to look for assistance within our walls, instead you acted on a whim, in a desperate attempt to...to…” 

“I didn’t want--

“There are several professors, myself included that would have been more than glad to assist you.” He interrupted. Rae hung her head. “What I’ve been told has been disconcerting to say the least. No matter, I suppose whatever’s compelled you to act this way is partially to blame.” 

Raelynn’s eyes shot to Vilkas but she said nothing. 

“But for now you are to stand trial before the Jarl,” Savos continued, he frowned deeply. “This is not an easy situation, Raelynn. I hope you understand what your actions have done. Not only to yourself but to our already diminished reputation” 

“I…” Rae sighed and didn’t look up. “I am sorry Savos Aren. I will accept any punishment the Jarl places upon me,” 

“Yes. You will.” Savos continued. “For what it’s worth, you are still a member of the college. I have made my apologies clear to the Jarl. Were it not for your friends from Whiterun, perhaps we wouldn’t have been able to intervene for you” 

“Intervene?” Rae asked perking up. Again her eyes caught Vilkas, but he looked away this time.

“Yes.” Savos retorted. “Given the situation and the concerning symptoms you exhibit, we have been able to talk to the Jarl about allowing to take you from his custody. To make sure you’re not...a danger to yourself and others.”

“Symptoms? Custody? What are you talking about?” Rae scrunched her nose. 

“The Jarl would still speak with you, a formality really, but everything is already set. You are to return to your studies at the College immediately. And you will be given duties of labor in service of Winterhold to repay your crime. Furtheremore, I will personally be overseeing you to figure out what is going on...” 

“It was just a goddamn horse.” Rae spat out. “Why are you treating me like I’m sick or possessed by a Daedra or…” Raelynn’s eyes shot at Vilkas. “You told him about the dreams.” 

“Your erratic behavior was more than consistent with the way maddenned Mages act, Raelynn, be grateful that we will be able to help you. Resign yourself to return to the College for this period of time or go to the Chill instead” 

“I don’t want to go back…” Raelynn spat out stepping towards the bars. “Vilkas?” 

“He’s right.” Vilkas finally replied moving his eyes away. “After speaking to your Arch-Mage, I think this is what’s best for you. The companions can’t help you. We don’t even know what...” 

“You...You said…!” 

“Calm  Raelynn. It’s not the end of the world. You must simply take responsibility for your actions. And we will strive to help you with your problems.” Savos nodded. He sidestepped and moved towards the doorway. “Now all you have to do is apologize to the Jarl and accept his judgement. This is a second chance. Do not squander it.” 

 Savos moved out of the room. Vilkas lingered behind, he looked worried, and she, she looked like a hurt animal, glaring through the bars straight at him. 

“You told him?” Raelynn finally spat out, seconds after Savos had left. 

“We merely spoke.” Vilkas replied. “It was the only way I could help you get out of here.” 

“Oh? Was it? And for what? So you could leave me in the College to rot like my brother wanted?” 

“It’s not like that.” Vilkas huffed out approaching the bars. His icy eyes searched her face but she backed away from the bars as soon as he stepped forward. “You need help, and I can’t help you. I know nothing about what’s happening to you. But Savos…” 

“There’s nothing happening to me!” Raelynn hissed. “This is who I am!” 

“You know that’s a lie! There is something wrong, there was something wrong when you came to Whiterun and there was something wrong at High Hrothgar!” 

“You’re a two-faced traitor” Raelynn hissed back. He touched the bars and she shot a bit of electricity making him jump back. He huffed at her. 

“And when were you going to tell us that you were a thief? And an attempted murderer?”

“What?” Raelynn hissed. 

“Your...your fellow student. The one you almost killed?” 

“I did...I did not! Who said that!?” Raelynn replied. “Besides! I told you I didn’t leave Winterhold in good term---

“It doesn’t matter!” Vilkas snapped back. “You're here because you don’t know how to control yourself. And this is the best way to help you. They can help you with it. I really thought I could Raelynn but I don’t know what any of this means...your dreams or your magic! Gael tried to warn me but...”

“Warn you?!?” She hissed at him. A heavy silence lingered in the air.  

“They’re coming to get you for your audience in about an hour. Do as the Arch-Mage says or suffer the full consequences.” He stood still and slumped his shoulders. She glared at him and stepped backwards until her back hit the wall, and slumped down onto the cold stone floor. 

“I thought…” She muttered and trailed off. He stayed for another moment but her silence dismissed him quickly. His footsteps paused once before the doorway and then he was gone. 

Silence fell over the mage-girl. She breathed out, slowly, feeling the wetness in her eyes give way. Her eyes fell upon her hands, each line on her palm traced visually, and then with her right hand she traced the lines with her left hand. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked up at the bars of the cell. Raelynn shut her eyes tight. She couldn’t see him. She got the feeling he wasn’t coming back. But a faded voice called to her, a memory? 

_ If you really want your freedom…. _ **_Take it._ **

She must’ve fallen into a light slumber because the rattling from the barred door startled her awake. Two guards stepped in warily.

“Your hands forward. Palms down.” One of them instructed. She obliged. 

“You will speak only when spoken to. You will not try anything stupid. If you do, we will cut you down” 

“I understand” Raelynn replied. “Don’t worry. I don’t intend to try anything.” 

The escort to the Jarl’s longhouse was quick, thankfully, and once there, the warmth from the fire in front of Jarl Korir, hit her in the face. The Jarl sat in the middle while to his left and right his court surrounded him. To the side, stood Savos Aren and J’zargo accompanied by Vilkas, Aela and Farkas. 

The guard to Raelynn’s left pushed her forward. Raelynn stepped forward. She could feel all eyes on her. She breathed in deeply, closed her eyes momentarily. 

_ They’re afraid of you and your potential  _

“This is Raelyn Averi Ariese, Jarl,” The House Steward stepped forward. “She here under the accusation that she stole a horse from the Court.” 

“Ah yes. The Mage-Girl.” Jarl Korir frowned, his eyes zeroed on her and Raelynn could feel them scanning her up and down. “She doesn’t look like much.” 

“The Arch-mage has requested clemency. He has promised to punish her but claims she was under some sort of influence and therefore cannot be made wholly responsible,”

“Yes.” 

“Furthermore, the new Harbinger of the Companions himself has offered a character witness in support of this claim. She was accompanying them on a mission here in Winterhold when she was captured.”  

“Of course.” 

“Taking all this into consideration, Jarl, the punishment for stealing a mere horse is 50 gold coins, added on to the fact that it was your horse, I recommend a fine of at least 150 gold plus time of 3 months served in the Chill. Of course, it is up to your discretion whether you wish to honor the requests of Jorrvaskr and The College.”

“Very well. Thank you Malur Seloth” The Jarl waved off the elf. He leaned forward for the first time, his eyes settling on Raelynn. 

“Your kind is never responsible for anything, are they girl?” He finally sneered out. “It’s always something. The magic you use. Daedric influence. I would like to make an example out of you. Why did you need that horse so badly, were you really out of your mind?”

Raelynn glanced at Savos who stared back at her and then at Vilkas. 

 “No. I wasn’t.” She replied simply holding her head up. “I knew exactly the consequences of what I was doing. And I am ready to accept the punishment you give me regardless of intervention.” 

“Raelynn!” Savos started but the steward cut in with a motion of his hand. 

“Explain yourself, Girl” the Jarl egged on.

“I received a letter that my brother was missing in the war. But then I had a dream about Helgen, about my brother being there. About a Dragon ...” Raelynn explained silently. She felt all eyes on her, whispers behind the Jarl. “I had to find him. I can’t explain it, but I knew I had to go.” 

“A dream? Like clairvoyance?” 

“There’s more.” 

“Oh? Is there?” 

“He is…” Raelynn paused and looked around the room. “He is the Dragonborn.” 

Everyone fell silent. The Jarl broke the silence promptly with a hearty laugh. 

“Why...she is mad! Savos, I apologize for doubting--

**FUS RO**

The fire in between Raelynn and the Jarl died out. Everyone was in complete silence. The guards moved to pull her away and another to relight the flames. The Jarl raised his hand for the guards dragging her away to stop, even as they sat in the dim light of a candle lit darkness. The Court erupted into whispers. 

“I am also Dragonborn.” Raelynn stepped forward pulling away from the guards. They pulled back on her and her hands dismissed them with shocks. She stepped towards the Jarl, stopping as the three guards next to him jumped forward swords at her throat. Vilkas stepped forward but Savos placed an arm in front of him. The whispers ceased once again at her voice. “I am not the monster you, and Savos and everyone makes me out to be.” Her hands crackled, she sent a wave of her hand and the fire relit in front of her once again cutting her off from the Jarl and his men “But I can be.” 

The Jarl gave a painful smirk. 

“So you’re not a liar either. But, you are clearly a danger...” 

“To those who won’t listen...” 

“I am listening, Ariese…” The Jarl leaned forth. “What do you propose I do?” 

She seemed to relax.

“I will pay my fines as proposed by your house steward, plus the fine for disturbing your peace. A total of 200 Septims. Everything in my purse. As any other citizen of Winterhold would” 

“And your time served?” 

“The Helm of Winterhold.” Raelynn straightened up. The Jarl leaned back, his eyes narrowed and he smirked. 

“What do you, a mage, know about that?” He guffed. The crowd whispered again. 

“I know plenty. I did my reading on this hold and city when I was first sent here to study.” Raelynn replied. “Being at the tavern on a weekly basis, helped me learn the local rumors, as well. It’s easy when you’re just the quiet mage-girl. You’ve always wanted to restore Winterhold to its former glory, Jarl…and now you have a Dragonborn at your disposal. I will return the Helm of Winterhold to repay my crimes and as a gesture from the College. In exchange, I demand my freedom and expunction”

“I’ve sent many adventurers and mercenaries over the years into those caves to look for it. Almost none of them have returned. If they do, they do so gravely injured.” 

“Then that’ll mean one less mage in your hands.” 

“And what of your brother?” 

“You’re worried about him, when you have me standing so close to you?” 

“Raelynn--!” Savos hissed. 

“Is that a threat?” 

“A mere observation.” Raelynn replied in the silence of the court. The Jarl smiled, and then laughed. 

“You amuse me, Ariese.” He said waving his hand. “Though I still hate your kind, I will accept your proposal. Pay your fine, and be on your way. If you do not return, I will assume you’ve died. If I find out you’re alive, and simply skipped your promise, I will have you hunted down and burned at the stake like a hagraven that you are. Regardless of what you or your brother are...”  

“I’m going to need my belongings back.” Raelynn stepped back nodding. 

“Get her, her things.” The Jarl waved off. The Guards nodded for her to follow, but didn’t move to set their hands on her arms this time. She followed them out of the Jarl’s longhouse, catching Vilkas glare on the way out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it has taken me this long to post this! I'm hoping to do Nanowrimo and I will totally totally! be working on this fic during that month! :)   
> Thank you so much for keeping up and bearing with me! :) I'm trying to get back on the saddle with posting but again, thank you for reading! :)   
> sorry for the errors if there are many; I didn't get to edit this as much. I"m writing it and posting it pretty late at night. Thanks!


	21. Insufferable Stubborn Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aela annoys Vilkas  
> Raelynn falls in a hole lol

“Ariese!” Savos voice called sternly. Raelynn gripped her bag and momentarily closed her eyes and braced for the lecture. Like before the sound of his footsteps were followed by others into the guardhouse. Raelynn picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, readjusted the dagger on the small of her back and looked straight at the door that was now being blocked by Savos, Vilkas and behind them, J’zargo, Aela and Farkas.   

“What were you thinking?” Vilkas voice piped up angrily

“I did what I thought necessary to assure my freedom” Raelynn replied to him with a sneer. She turned to the Arch-Mage then, “I apologize for the show, Arch-Mage. I do appreciate your intervention but I cannot just remain at the college, not whilst my brother is out there fighting--

“Is this really about your brother? Or is it about your desire to leave Winterhold?” Savos voice cut smoothly. He crossed his arms blocking her path to the doorway. Unlike Vilkas’ voice there was only stern concern hidden within. Any semblance of anger was quite hidden. Or maybe it was just the way he was. Raelynn licked her lips stepping back. She shook her head at him and turned back. 

“The college...The college has been my home for so long, I have met dear friends there, learned so many useful things. It is the first place I’ve felt free to be myself, to exercise my...magic” Raelynn breathed out, stretching out her hand. “But even then it became a gilded cage. I didn’t know how confined I was until I left. Being out in the world wasn’t what I was afraid it would be and I’ve held my own...being out there is all I’ve ever wanted. I know that much.” 

“I would assume so Raelynn, but the world is dangerous. Especially if you cannot control your talents.” Savos replied much more calmly. 

“None of us can...not truly.” Raelynn replied, it drew a smile on his lips. “You said that yourself.” 

“Yes. I did.” Savos replied. “We can only control our choices. But I will not debate with you the moral merits of ethical magic” 

“This-this is the Journey I choose.” 

“Is it? Or was it thrust upon you by unknown forces? Things that are not benign to you? I am concerned about your dreams.” 

“No.” Raelynn replied shaking her head. “Whatever called me to Helgen---to High Hrotghar knew how caged I felt. The shame, and the self-hatred that lives within me.”

“It used that against you.” 

“No. It...It released me. I don’t understand what’s happening to me, Arch-Mage but I do know it would have come forth one way or another. Before all this, I had considered asking you for permission to carry my studies into the field. I’ve wanted this for a long time. I cannot just live in books and dreams anymore. I can no longer bear to watch the world pass me by through that small window, afraid of it. Fearful of myself. It calls to me, and whatever this is, for whatever reason I must heed to it. It is bigger than me. Even if it means leaving. I wish I could ask for your blessing. But I know I'm past that.”

“I don’t think you are. Please reconsider Raelynn.” Savos pleaded softly. Raelynn’s shoulders slumped and she shook her head. “ If you are truly Dragonborn, if that is what calls you, then we must help you figure this out--” 

“My brother is out there. He is Dragonborn too. He is doing fine. I can too...” Raelynn’s voice dipped. “I thought this…” Her hands reached for her throat and the knot that formed. “I thought it was a mistake. Something that wasn’t supposed to be. But it’s real. And for whatever reason it’s happened, it’s been released and I-I mustn’t ignore it. I am sorry Arch-Mage. And I am truly sorry for the way I left.”

“I understand Raelynn. Perhaps when you return from your journey we can settle that in a reasonable manner” Savos nodded quietly. 

“Thank you.” 

“Because you are coming back…”  

She nodded silently and then walked past him, the heels of her boots clicking on the floorboards. Savos let her pass, and then slumped his shoulders. Raelynn stopped next to J’zargo dropped her shoulders and then gave the Khajiit a small tight hug before pushing out the door. 

“Raelynn...You are still one of us. The College will always be your home” J’zargo whispered to her. He let go, reluctantly and leaned back against the wall. She turned and nodded to him, tightened the strap of her bag on her shoulder and cast a quick timid glance at Vilkas before stepping out into the cold.    

J’zargo reached for the door after her but Savos called his name, and the Khajiit Mage steadied himself back. Instead Vilkas followed. 

“Stop!” He called after her. “So that’s it? You’re just going to abandon your studies, your friends, all you know, for some…some imaginary calling? Your brother doesn’t need your help. He made that very clear.” 

“Vilkas!” Aela yelled after him. Raelynn turned around in the snow, the wind blew the hood of her robe off her face. 

“I’ll figure it out on my own. You don’t know anything.” 

“I know enough to know you’re making a mistake!” Vilkas replied pulling away from Aela. “Reconsider right now, Sparks. Take Savos’ offer. Do your time and then you can return to Jorrvaskr if you so wish to.”

“You don’t want me back there.” Raelynn hissed, “You just want me locked up in that tower, but it’s easier for you to pretend that this is what’s best for me than to just plain out say that you don’t think I should be one of you. Are you hoping I don’t come back if I do take Savos’ offer?”

“No. It’s not like tha--

“Yes. It is!” She yelled. “You yourself called me an attempted murderer! You just wanted me locked up because I scare you!” She hissed back. He stopped dead in his tracks. Aela just behind him and behind her, J’zargo, Farkas and the Arch-Mage.  

“That’s not--

“You know damn right it is! To you I’m just the mage-girl. You’ve all made mistakes,  _ mistakes you chose _ , and yet I am no good,  _ Harbinger _ ? I did not choose this!” 

“That’s not it” Vilkas stepped forward again, and she unsheathed her dagger and jumped back. 

“Leave me alone or I’ll show you again how I fight without my magic.” She spat, looked past to the Arch-Mage who was stepping out to see the commotion. She steadied and resheathed her dagger. “Maybe I’ll come back to the college one day, when I finally figure out what’s wrong with me. Maybe I won’t.” 

Vilkas stepped forward but Aela tugged him back by the arm. Raelynn turned in place and stalked off, leaving Vilkas with a deep sigh. 

“You called her a murderer?” Aela asked cocking an eyebrow at Vilkas. Vilkas blues steadied on Raelynn’s figure disappearing within the gusts of snow. 

“No...I...Something like that. I was stupid. I was mad she didn’t tell us about--” He huffed out. “About all this.”   

“Raelynn never murdered anyone. What are you talking about?” J’zargo stepped forward, his tail flicking in the snow. “The day she left was the first time I saw her lift a finger in defense. But that is all it was. Defense. That stupid bitch elf only reaped what she sowed for years” 

“It doesn’t excuse her behavior but Urag also mentioned her strange behavior that day.”

“Can’t you do something?” Farkas finally piped up. Savos sighed and shook his head. 

“As the Arch-Mage I have a duty to my college and my students. But I cannot force them to stay. Those who walk dangerous paths often leave. I’m afraid I can’t step in more than I have already tried. She is in the wind. All I can do is hope she comes to her senses, and returns to us, safe and sound. Come J’zargo. Let’s go. I bid you all a good journey.” Savos nodded to the Companions. 

“Yes Arch-Mage” J’zargo replied, casting one last glance at the companions he followed after Savos down the road towards the college.. 

“You’re just going to let her go too?” Aela huffed out at Vilkas. 

“You too? You were the first to hold me back. So you’re right, let her make her own bed and sleep on it” 

“She looked like she was going to cut you. I was protecting you. Not her.” Aela responded with a shrug. 

“You made a promise to Kodlak.” Farkas piped up. Vilkas growled and shook his head. 

“But I have other duties now. Duties I promised Kodlak as well.” 

“But you heard what the Jarl said about those caves?” Farkas chimed in worriedly. “And regardless, she is one of us.” 

“She’s made her choice. And I can’t stop her.” Vilkas huffed out turning away and heading towards the Tavern. Aela and Farkas hung back, frowning. 

“Stubborn fools.” Aela muttered. “You go find her. I’ll deal with your brother.”  

~

It would have been easier to track the mage-girl had it not been for the flurry of snow that plagued Winterhold. Still, the caves were easy to find and a surprise relief from the cold whipping wind. It was easier to catch up to her here, not even because Farkas could catch the scent of books in the air, but because she had left angry scorch marks on the rocks in her path.

It had to be her, right? He found out it was, almost a little too late by ducking a fireball aimed straight at his face. 

“It’s me!” Farkas called out. Raelynn made a fist of her hand and tucked it back down at her side. 

“What do you want, Farkas?” She hissed out. 

“Hey I didn’t do anything to you.” He pointed out with both hands up. She sighed and seemed to relax. He stepped forth only when the fire in her fisted hand at her side disappeared. “I just came to help.” 

“Help? I’m fine.” 

“No. You’re not.” He noted. “If you don’t want to talk fine. But as far as I’m concerned you are one of us and we take care of each other,  _ Shield-Sister. _ ” 

“I don’t think your Harbinger would like that.” Raelynn mouthed spitefully. Farkas laughed. 

“It doesn’t matter what he likes. The Harbinger is just an advisor. We all do as we please and see fit. And I see fit to help you.” Farkas shrugged. “Now are we going to get that helmet or what?” 

“...Yes.” Raelynn sighed. “I’m sorry. I just blew up earlier. I shouldn’t have--

“It’s fine. I know how infuriating Vilkas can be” Farkas shrugged. 

“Yeah. I just want to get this stupid thing to the Jarl so I can leave this shit-scape” 

“And where are you going to go after you do this?” 

“Solitude. Maybe.” Raelynn answered moving further into the cave. “Maybe I’ll return to the Greybeards. They seem to know a lot. Maybe Riften...Maybe,” She paused “Solstheim.” 

“That’s far away isn’t it?” 

“Doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s what I need. To go away...” The melancholy settled in her voice. Or was it doubt? Farkas frowned but before he could think of an answer she was blasting spiders, and he was more than grateful that she was keeping them at a distance. He sneered with disgust. Gods he hated those things. Why did it have to be Frostbites? Always…? She stepped further into the cave. 

“You coming?” 

“Yeah…Yeah. Right behind you, Shield-Sister.”

“I don’t know, Farkas, but it feels like I’m the one protecting you right now.” 

“Ha. That’s fine by me if it comes down to fighting those creepy crawlies.” It drew a smile from her, and Farkas smiled back. He nodded for her to continue down the winding path and followed closely after her, deeper into the crystalline cavern. 

It seemed the deeper they delved the fewer spiders, or really, any living thing appeared, and the more pristine the ice became, a trail of bones lead down and as they turned off the ledge, they heard the growl from the next cavern reach them distinctly.

“Troll.” Raelynn frowned pushing her back against the ice wall. Farkas peaked over her. 

“ _ Frost _ troll” He corrected and slowly reached for his sword. “You got any fire?”

The smile she gave him said it all, her blues dropped to her hands and she flexed her fingers a bit before rubbing them together, her hands moved up then both snapped out, palms facing upwards, a small flame appeared. 

“Ready.” She breathed out. 

“Always.” Farkas replied quietly. Raelynn turned the corner quickly, her hands pushed out, one, two, the fireballs hit the snow-white creature head-on, and his fur scorched. She had time for another fireball, before it shook violently growling at her, it’s fists in the air as it started to lunge. Farkas met his sword with him as Raelynn rolled out of the way behind the creature. More fire was thrown towards it, it’s attention turning from the sword cutting through it’s deep fur and fat to the fire scorching him. 

“Get out of that corner Sister!” Farkas called out, as the animal turned towards Rae, her hand spat out a stream of fire directly in front of her, but the creature continued it’s march towards her through it, as though the rage made the burns painless. Farkas followed but the creature was already upon her. 

“YOL!” the fire spat from her throat, leaving behind a bit of warmth. It burned brighter than the flames from her hands, and this time the creature flinched back, his hands thrown in the air, caught the side of Raelynn’s head. She stumbled back, the ice slippery under her boot she fell backwards tumbling down and over the ledge. She reached up for anything but there was only ice, and cold under her hands, nothing she could grasp. She saw Farkas lifting his sword over the creatures head just before she fell completely off towards the abyss. 

~ 

 “What do you want Aela” Vilkas hissed, moving slightly to the side of the bar so the Huntress could slide in next to him. She sat on the stool and motioned for the bartend to bring her a mug. He didn’t relax but looked at her with an expectant glare. “If you’re here to tell me I was wrong then do it and leave.” 

“No. I’m here to tell you you’re as much as a stubborn fool as Raelynn is.” The Huntress groused. She gratefully paid the bartend and then picked up her drink and took a long hard swallow. Vilkas rolled his eyes. 

“What were you even thinking saying those things to her?” 

“I wasn’t thinking.” 

“That explains it.” Aela smirked. “So she is Dragonborn as well? That is surprising. Her big brother? I can see that, but she? I don’t know. I don’t blame you.” 

“They’re twins.” Vilkas sighed “They say Twins share more than just likeliness.” 

“Like you and Farkas?” Aela smirked. Vilkas frowned and shot her another glare over his glass. 

“I’m not running after her. I wasn’t planning on leaving her here in Winterhold. I wanted her to come back with us.” Vilkas finally muttered out, after enough staring from the emerald-eyed woman next to him. “She is one of us. Kodlak felt so. So do I, now.” 

“Then why would you--

“She’s infuriating.” Vilkas hissed in a low voice.

“You are too.” Aela laughed. Vilkas rolled his eyes. 

“Why would she steal a horse?  _ From the Jarl,  _ no less, and for what? Because a dream told her to go to Helgen? She also assaulted a fellow student. She’s ridiculous.” 

“I don’t know, it sounded more like self-defense from what the Arch-Mage fellow said.” Aela replied. 

“She can do whatever she wants. She got her own freedom now. Not like she needs us. I have more important duties to attend to as Harbinger now.”

“Really? And yet, here you are. Waiting for her.” Aela pointed out. “If you really felt that way we could have just taken the carriage this morning after you two had your yelling match.” 

“I await for Farkas’ return.” Vilkas chimed spitefully. Aela smirked and took another go of her mead. 

“Farkas is a big boy. He’s not the smartest but he knows how to get back to Whiterun.” Aela pointed out. “Besides, what duties call you back to Jorrvaskr immediately?” 

“Duties. Ok?” 

“Right. Your duty is to do what’s best for Jorrvaskr. For its members. All of them. Did you really think trying to lock her up in that college against her will was what was best for her? I’ve only been here for two days and I cannot wait to return to Whiterun.” 

“It’s...different. You don’t get it. You’re not going to accidentally murder someone because you sneezed.” 

“I could.” Aela smirked, that drew a glare from Vilkas. “You’re the one that’s spent more time in the field with her. You’ve seen her fight. You know firsthand what she can do,  _ don’t you _ ?” 

He went silent and brooded over his drink. Aela smirked and shook her head finishing off her mug. 

“It’s not that. She needs help.” 

“So then help her. That’s your job isn’t it?” 

“No. It’s not. I can’t.” Vilkas sulked with a sigh. “I thought I could, before all of this? Maybe before I was given this title, but now that I am Harbinger? I cannot abandon Jorrvskr to help her on her stupid journey.” 

“Is that what your sulking is all really about?” 

“No.” He wrinkled his nose and looked down at his mug. Lifted it for the bartend who came around and refilled him. Aela smiled and shook her head. 

“Kodlak sat in his study a lot because he was getting up there in years.” Aela said turning away from the dark-haired warrior, the corner of her emerald eyes focused on him, however. “That is the truth. I loved him as a Father. We all did, but you know very well his job was mostly damage control. Keeping Skjor and I in check. Making sure you and Farkas had advice and help when you needed it.” 

“What of the recruits? What of the training?” 

“We all handled it evenly. Unless you want that to change. I don’t see why it would. Stop making a mountain out of a hill.” Aela shrugged. She turned to him again and he sighed deeply. 

“I’ll talk to her when they get back. That’s all I can say.” He muttered through his drink a moment later. “I need to cool off first.”

“Very well. That’s enough.” 

“You should have been the Harbinger.” 

“Perhaps. But I trust in Kodlak’s judgement.” 

“Of all the things you disagreed with him on, this isn’t one of them?” 

“You’ll be a great Harbinger, and I’m proud to know you’re my shield brother.” The bartend refilled her mug. Aela lifted it towards Vilkas. “To you, the new Harbinger!” 

Vilkas raised his glass halfway up. She bumped his mug and downed half the serving. He downed most of his own drink. 

“I also think you should just accept you how feel.” She piped up after sucking in air. That made Vilkas choke and immediately turn his head and glare at her

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” 

“The mage girl has smitten you.” Aela laughed. “It’s quite obvious. Don’t be a coward.” 

“I care only for her as a companion. As I would you or Farkas.” Vilkas hissed at the Huntress. She laughed and patted his back, a little too hard. 

“Then I suppose you won’t object if someone else pursues her?” 

“Who?” Vilkas asked cocking an eyebrow then shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not my business.” 

“Farkas mentioned Farengar…” 

“Farengar?” Vilkas spat “He's an oblivious, and obnoxious little man. Her brother wouldn’t agree”

“He’s a mage like her.” Aela turned away from the bar. A couple of the students were a couple of tables down having a few drinks. The door opened. “You’re right though, Farengar is too old anyway. Perhaps, there was someone here at the college that interested her?” 

“I know what you’re trying to do Aela. I don’t care.” Vilkas huffed and returned to nursing his drink. 

“The cat?” 

“J’zargo? Her friend? You’re grasping at straws now.”

“J’zargo heard his name, this one hopes it is not something bad you are commenting” J’zargo’s silky voice chimed in. His robe was dusted with snow from the wind outside as he leaned on the bar. Vilkas nearly jumped out of his chair. Aela’s eyes zeroed on the Khajiit Mage. “Has Raelynn returned from her delve? This one was hoping to catch her before she left town.” 

“No. She hasn’t returned. We were just commenting on her…” Aela leaned back against the bar and smiled. “We know so little about her life here. Do you know if she had someone she was romantically involved with?”

“Aside from her books?” J’zargo laughed. He motioned for Dagur, who came in with a smile. “Dagur, my fellow, do you know if Raelynn ever mentioned anyone she might be interested in? This one never cared to ask.” 

“Onmund tried to buy her a drink once. Ended with a competition on who could use lightning spells better. Had to throw them both out that night. Thought they looked well together.” 

“Enough.” Vilkas snipped standing up before the Bartend could give J’zargo his drink. “None of this is relevant and I would like to drink in peace without useless gossip about that insufferable woman. I’ve already told you I will try to talk to her when she returns. That should be enough!” He snipped and stomped down towards an empty corner table. Aela laughed. 

“What is wrong with him?” J’zargo snickered through an amused smile.

~

_ Thud.  _

“Rae?” Farkas voice called from above. Raelynn’s vision was spinning. It was much darker down here. She groaned and tried to get up but the stars in her eyes prevented her more than the pain in her behind. “Raelynn? I’m coming down!” 

“I’m fine…” She called out back to him. “I’m fine. Just give me a moment.I’ll climb out.” She growled out, she leaned on a wall and tried to even out her breathing. Her limbs felt fine. Nothing was broken thankfully, it felt more like bruises and sprains. A twirl of her left fingers lit up the dark room, barely in a white light that should have been brighter but something directly above her was making the room darker. 

Raelynn pushed herself back against the wall fully, cornered by the floating mass. A black tentacle reached for her shoulder and she pulled back trying to melt into the wall itself. 

“Come closer. Bask in my presence…” It said in a soft pleasant voice. 

“No...Who are you?” 

“I am Hermaeus Mora. I am the guardian of the unseen, and the knower of the unknown. I have been watching you, mortal. Most impressive.”

“You’re...a Daedra. What do you want from me?” 

“Raelynn? Are you ok?” Farkas’ voice came from upstairs. 

“Yes! I'm fine” Raelynn called immediately. “I’m fine! Don’t come down here, just wait for me!” 

She turned back to the mass of tentacles right above her, in the dim light from her hand she started to notice eyes within the mass. 

“Well?” 

“I’ve come to offer you the knowledge you seek and more than that, Dragonborn,” Hermaeus’ voice came pleasant and innocuous. “For a price, of course.” 

“I know better than to--” 

“Make a deal with a Daedra?” Hermaeus seemed amused. “Of course. But perhaps you might want to think about it. There are things you should know, and in the end what I offer will benefit you greatly. It will open avenues of which you know not...” 

“What could you possibly offer me?” 

“A way to free your mind from the plague that lives within it.” A tentacle reached and patted away the stray strands of hair from Raelynn’s face. “The nature of your being, and so much more.” 

Raelynn pulled away from the tentacle touching her. 

“Yeah? And what must I give up to get that knowledge? My soul?” She sneered. 

“Not as much.” Hermaeus’ amusement was starting to cut annoy Raelynn. “I understand the reluctance mage-girl but consider this, you and I, we have similar goals, more than you can imagine.” 

“I want nothi--

“Be warned and wary of what you speak. Many have thought the same as you do. I have broken them all. You shall not evade me forever. I am much more powerful than the one who's bewitched your mortal mind.” 

“What? What do you mean?”

“I see he has taken precautions…” 

“Raelynn?!” Farkas voice cut in.

“I know all.” He replied pleasantly once again. “Speak to my servant in the Sea of Ghosts, when you have decided to embrace your inevitable fate, and I shall find you again then. For now, seek the truth within the tattered book, and you’ll know I do not lie. Farewell.” 

And just like that the mass disappeared into mid-air. Raelynn’s ball of light shone brighter in the room Farkas was peeking over the ledge quite a ways up. 

“There you are! I couldn’t see you for a while. I found the helm!” He called out relieved. Raelynn nodded but the knot in her throat didn’t let her say anything. She felt cold, but it wasn’t because of the ice, and any trace of pain was insubstantial at the moment, compared to the beating of her heart against her chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! 
> 
> Happy Nano! Hope everyone that is participating is doing well. I'm actually doing alright this year even if I'm being a rebel and working on this fic during Nano instead of on my novel lol. Decided to post this now instead of later! :) Thank you for reading always!!!! :)


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